Forming Trust

[Shane597]

I seem to be struggling to gain people's trust because I think complex and struggle sometimes to think from their perspective. I may offend some and then they expect me to know how I did or think of myself as a person to stay away from. I think it is partially because of texting and people are just judgemental and not open minded. I have also learned to just listen to a woman or other people in general to gain their trust, but then you face opening up, which is more scarry. I find they are close minded or they say they are open and accepting but really are not, I don't believe them because usually they have not thought though what really being accepting and open means. After educating myself I am seeing the world very different, I am starting to realize I either meet people that are similar as myself( people on this forum or sometimes around colleges) or I meet people who are closed minded, but I have used humor, sincerity and understanding to attract them to me and then I don't feel comfortable opening up because they do not have as big of world view. So, I can't just say you are closed minded and judemental because they think they are. I struggle to influence people to develop and so I lack quality friends and possible soul mates due to my standards of highly conscious people, like most people on this forum. Any thoughts on this? 

Edited August 27, 2017 by Shane597

[kira]

Oh goddy 

The act of Persuasion, is a huge passion that I have been developing the last couple of months, there is nothing like the feeling u get when you just walk up to stranger and start a conversation you both can enjoy. I have been doing this just for the fun of it, and practiece. 

Its not enough to listen, u actually need to LISTEN, people usually tell u what they want you just need to listen carefully and watch them. Bodylanguage says a lot about a person. Also show them empathy the real kind not the fake one.  That you show empathy doesnt mean that you agreed with them ( contrary to what a lot of people believe now days) 

It just mean that u can see the world from their eyes.

Humor is another way te rewrite someone´s frame, Just be carefull with this one, dont offend or hurt anyone while doing this, insteed u can try 

self-deprecating 

poking fun

ego busting 

 

It is true that when we are in our journey its hard to find people around us that are in the same place as us. I  like to call them sleepwalkers  its not like u can change them and your shouldnt try neither.  Thats why sometimes opening up to those people and showing them your point of vieuw can be challenging.  They are going to see you as weird, because your way of thinking its not the same as them , and they lack the ability to understand your point of vieuw. 

Thats why its really important that you speak the language of the person you are talking to, ( i dont mean English or french lol ) I mean the way they express themself the way they talk otherwise they will never be able to understand you. 

And you can peak and choose what you are going to share about yourself. 

Gosh i could go forever about this hahahah 

they are greats books out there to help you with this topic as well as awesome books ( if you can afford spending the money i would recomend you to buy the books insteed) 

good luck