Detachment

[The Monk]

Hey guys and girls, I've been having a real problem lately, and that is I can't be detached from needing a girl in my life.

She is of similar age to me and enjoys life,  but I seem to be very attracted to her. Since she has an awesome life and isn't needy of anyone else. I think she has also come to realize that I have a crush on her and she seems not to care, she says she doesn't want a relationship, because she is happy with what she has. But still I'm attached to her since I think about her and have dreams about her.So I feel like I want what she has, which is the ability to see attractive people and not get attached to them or not need to be in a relationship with them, or even friends with them and still be happy. How can I do this? How can I stop thinking about her and get the sense of detachment that she has gained? Also she doesn't meditate she's just a high school girl who studies a lot so where and how did she develop this profound power? Because I don't have it feel sad that I'm not in a relationship with her and I think constantly about her. So this is what I also want. Because, I was actually talking to her on Facebook and I realized that I was subtly trying to re-kindle the chance of us getting into a relationship , but she wasn't and doesn't want to how can I do this? Stop thinking, so caring, stop getting angry/ frustrated/ upset, and become detached from needing anyone? Also I've already watched Leo's video on how to be attractive, but I feel like it just doesn't give enough information on how to really end this once and for all. 

Thanks for the suggestions guys. I really appreciate them as, they have the ability to improve my life greatly and change the world for the better. 

[John Iverson]

You cannot stop anything in the state you have right now.. try to increase your consciousness.. dont push your self to stop it is like you fight something that you can't see , you even didn't know and your needyness you have you didn't understand... in this work generally speaking all Leo's speaking about in his video is just a word if you didn't experience it.. knowledge is just a group of ideas that compose of words that it doesn't make sense at all if you didn't affect your heart You don't learn something.. learning is changing your life in a natural way.. it is something to express not to serve the ego... 

[Huginn]

Do you have a life purpose? I think it's important to have that prioritized over relationships to begin with.

[YaNanNallari]

One way to think about this is that thinking and fantasizing about her is your favorite pastime. It's just another thing to think about. If you get bored of it and see that oh, it's not good for you to stay thinking about it, it will be easier to let go. If I were in your position I'd just assume it to be my main distraction at the moment. Pushing the thoughts away won't work on the long run. I'd meditate and see that they're just ideas you don't have to follow.

[5driedgrams]

     It's really nice to see the great advice you've been given. I see a lot of my younger (and to some extent my present) self in your post.  I saw on another post that you are 18. It is incredible that you're not only on this site, but you have 388 posts! I hope you see the value in someone that's chipping away to discover/realize Truth.

      If I were giving my younger self advice regarding this topic, I'd say that anything outside of self-actualization/enlightenment is a distraction right now. Get on an exercise regiment, get on a daily meditation practice, watch what you eat/eat more raw food, drink your water, read your books, watch Leo's video on self esteem, don't compare yourself to others, set daily/weekly/monthly/yearly goals and make plans for reaching them, keep seeking and taking advice, don't take anything personally or too seriously, learn from failure and keep moving forward, don't beat yourself up, and know that everything you could ever want will come to the self-actualized and/or enlightened self (this is advice I'd give my young uneducated self... we can argue about "everything you could ever want" somewhere else as, paradoxically, "you" and "want" both go out the window with enlightenment)

     I know its a fucking pain in the ass. Your mind craves this person. You crave your perception of her life and her being. Remember that what/who she actually is is not identical to your (most likely idealized) perception of her. It takes damn near every bit of energy to deal with the experience of not feeling wanted by the person you want so badly. I'd probably tell myself  "fuck it man, just let it go. Just keep on keepin' on and not only will you get everything you ever wanted, but it will come to YOU!"

     Also remember that in as little as a year, you'll look back at all this and laugh and wonder why you ever tripped about it in the first place.

     Girls find a guy who takes care of himself incredibly sexy. They obviously respond well to a guy who takes care of his body, but they unknowingly respond well to a guy who is taking care of his mind and his spirit. Girls love a guy who has purpose. It might be hard to imagine right now, but you just might attract someone who blows this current girl out of the water <3

     I'm not an expert on this or... anything I guess lol, I'm just telling you what I'd tell my younger self.

[Kimasxi]

How else could you have your needs met? (by another girls)
Focus on going out and meeting more girls. You need your mind to shift to the purpose gear instead of the fixating on lack mode.