How To Stop Lying

[kieranperez]

Okay. The one thing I can be honest about is the fact that I'm an insecure compulsive liar. I feel like I just can't stop. I hate lying and I just keep doing more and more and more and more and more of it. Even about just the stupidest of things. I'll make up bullshit stories to people. I get so lost in them. It's all out of insecurity though. I notice that for sure. I also lie about things I know I'm going to get caught for too and do so even when I don't want to lie anymore and I'm so disgusted by it and I know even when I do lie, I'll not only get caught but also get fucked over for it at least in someway. 

Yes, I know there's the practical vide on how awareness alone is curative. I've been doing that for so long (mutltiple months l, 6+ to be more exact). However, I don't want to sound impatient but I don't think a shift towards honesty requires such a passive approach that it takes months to see any sort of result from. I doubt this shift requires such a long term approach.

I really need help with this. Mindfulness practice doesn't even seem to be enough even though I make mindfulness (meditation) a daily practice. Again, I know this is out of insecurity but this has become such a problem. It is a self image problem for sure but again, I don't see a commitment and shift towards honesty requiring such a long term approach to end this disgusting habit.

[Saarah]

@kieranperez If you're calling it a disgusting habit you're probably more resisting it than being aware about it 

Maybe try finding specific limiting beleifs that are leading to this behaviour and changing them around 

[Visitor]

@kieranperez Thanks for being honest.

As easy or as hard as this may seem, please give it a go. The first hurdle always seems to be the tallest one to get over.

Speak only the truth. If you cannot speak the truth, then keep your mouth shut. 

When doing this, don't be surprised if you find yourself grimacing and sitting on your hands while your legs are fidgeting about. It gets easier after each attempt to stay quiet until you can find what to say honestly. Don't be afraid of what others may think while doing this exercise. The end result will be worth it. It is liberating to be fearlessly honest than to be fearfully deceptive.

In the meantime, meditate and include introspection to unveil all your fears. This may take a long time. We humans carry a lifelong collection of fears. It is the ego-fears I am talking about, because it is our ego which does not wish others to judge us negatively_so we lie (even a half truth is a deception).

[Sevi]

I think you are a very honest person, it's clear to see it from your post.

What I could say is that you are a honest person who is getting more and more uncomfortable with a tool used for managing the circumstances. It's understandable because your actual self doesn't resonate with with the surviving/managing skill.

Start with respecting the good it did for you, probably it supplied some flexibility and reach out. Then being an ordinary person is good enough, being so harsh with so called wrong actions won't do any good.

The thing I think, you are so yearning to be accepted and welcomed as just your actual identity but it didn't happen for a while so there is this risk of not to be loved or accepted. Guess what love means? Or acceptance? It's different being all unaware person who tries every way out on the expense of other's security or there is this someone who tries his best to deal with his issues. If someone is incapable of understanding such struggles they are not in any journey yet, they'll love you later, but the other ones will be like 'what took you this long silly ' just to be yourself 

Accept and love yourself with your lies:) we already do;) you are the only one who is harshly criticizing

❤

Edited August 22, 2017 by Sevi
Practicing the grammar

[Sevi]

@kieranperez watch "Amazing Grace"

It's a true story, a biography.

This guy (William Wilberforce), "maneuvers his way" through Parliament, to end the slave trade, in 18th century in Britain.