So, excited by Leos videos, a few references I had and my own (very inconsitent) practice I decided to go to my first meditation retreat. For reasons of time and availability, it was a buddhist vipassana retreat. A couple of things went wrong and I found myself going through hell and running home on day two  (You're officially welcome to laugh at me.) Not that going through hell at times is wrong, it would be just, you know, better to be able to finish your retreat. So I just want to share some stupid mistakes of mine with you so that you can adjust your expectations and preparation. So, don't be naive.  Realize that vipassana is not "do nothing". It's actual work. The retreat will hardly feel like a vacation.  You have addictions and weaknesses? Are you afraid that not sleeping or not eating is going to be hard? Yeah, getting up at 4 hungry and practising for three hours is just as hard as you think.  The hardship and the meditation do not cancel each other out. Together they amplify any doubt or internal problem you've got. And when I say amplify, I mean present you with the full extent of the demon all at once, until you cry and crumble. You think all meditation teachers can teach beginners well, and all Buddhists groups are kind of decent? Budhism isn't a religion so there aren't sects and individuals that haven't gone far astray from the spirit of the teaching? Think twice. And, even if you're lucky, the teacher or the philosophy may not sit with you well. Having said that, don't go uneducated, find out about the underlying philosophy too.  Commenting a bit on the last point, I hardly have any comparison, but I think I had a bit of bad luck here. While I do understand that buddhist  practitioners can be very hardcore, the people I ran into not only had a bunch of rules and were very strict enforcing them, they imho had some twisted and arbitrary interpretations, which were downrigt harmful. I also believe, and this is hard for me to say, that the teacher was only teaching people to go through the motions and not actually the heart of the technique. There was much emphasis on form, little on the mindset needed. There was so much emphasis on suffering being necessary, that there was no room left to enjoy the practice. The only thing I could see on the faces of fellow students if I looked around was suffering. No relaxing of the mind and the muscles. I have so little experience that I nearly let myself be convinced that this is the way it should be, but frankly, I believe these people actually did the technique wrong. I think the teaching was really bad. I have yet to find out, but I think meditation should have it's ups and downs, and a retreat should not be all about the dark side. I think me not staying at the retreat was as much a result of me reflecting on my goals and values and finding they are in sharp conflict with the teaching as presented, as it was surrendering or running away from my inner demons. But maybe I would have given up even in the most supporting setup, because I went too far too fast, and I was not ready for a retreat at all. I mean, if I have doubt, why not do a weekend first?  Despite all the trouble I experience, after leaving I saw some of the positive effects of meditating and being on a clean(er) diet for two days. I guess it's hard to mess the practice up so badly that it doesn't do you any good. So I'm not giving up on meditation, although I'm sure as hell going to be choosing my teachers more carefully.  Hope this helps one person at least.  Tl ; dr  : Set your expectations straight, learn the techniques, do some practice, and also check out the teacher/group properly before you decide to do your first retreat. You might go through hell and find yourself running for the hills if you don't. (I guess it might happen even if you do.)