Leaving My Nest...

[AilinKyung]

Hi everyone!

I'm 20 and I'm living in Argentina with my family and I'm really working on moving to Korea by myself.

 

Can you give me some tips or advice about moving out another country?

[Key Elements]

You are young and that's a very bold decision. Make sure the people that you're staying with are trustworthy and street smart so that you could ask them questions when needed. Be street smart and learn to tell who's who. Leo's Spiral Dynamics clip come in handy esp when you travel and stay for long term. I've been living in India for 7 yrs. - grew up in the US. I'm happy for you because:

"The world is a great book of which they who never stir from home read only one page." -Augustine 

Happy Journey! 

Note: If you're staying long term, make sure your official documents (i.e. passport/visa/etc.) are long term stay. You got to get this handled now - don't wait.

[AilinKyung]

@Shiva Practical and general advice would be nice!

I know my question is so vague but I'm curious about others people opinions

[Joseph Maynor]

Watch Leo's videos on What's the worst that can happen and the one on doing Pre-mortem analysis.

[AilinKyung]

@Joseph Maynor I have my vision board to visualize every single day and I did pre-mortem technique!  

 

[AilinKyung]

@Shiva

One of my biggest reason moving out to Korea is because I wanna have abundance in romatic relationships and have tons of options to choose.

 

My parents planted a seed on me that "I must have a korean boyfriend and not argentinian" since I was little.

I don't like my parents mindset and I know they are freaking close minded people.

I don't obey them. 

But the problem is I don't feel sexually attracted to an argentinian anymore. I can't imagine kissing with an argentinian. But i love kissing with koreans specially.

 

My dad told me something like "If you get married with an argentinian, I failed like a father" all the time

They treat as if Argentine people are inferior to them because most of them are employees and my parents employers.

They deal with a little bit silly argentine workers but they don't know that exists extrordinary argentine too.

 

 

I don't really know how to fix this problem with argentinians.

What frustrates me is that I wanna become a good friend but I'm treating them really coldly because I am a little bit afraid that those guys could fall in love with me. 

One of my options is to move out to Korea and find abundance.

 

 

Edited August 21, 2017 by AilinKyung

[Huginn]

Well, from my perspective, the general would be to envision clearly what you want in your stay there. Then let it guide you in writing down all the things you need to do to achieve it. If you're unsure about something, get the right information to be more sure. When you get confident in your list of things to do, you may be surprised it's much simpler than you thought. Such clarity will help in getting over any remaining uncertainty and fear.

Start with the things you need just to survive, such as papers, finances, housing, plan B to retreat back to the family if things go wrong for some reason. Then you can add nice to haves.

Personally, when I moved myself, I did think of the worst that could happen, like Joseph mentioned, without having a name for it. It was kind of like "So the worst thing is that I'll die. Spending my life like I have been up till now indefinitely is worse though. Therefore, I'll just go die then. Might be interesting.". So, it's I suppose easier if you're motivated at least to a similar degree.

Something I wished I had done before going is to devise a clear plan to learn the language. Specifically regular writing practice. Reading alone is not enough to level up to speaking confidently. But maybe you know Korean already.

Want to know something more specific? Ask away.

Edited August 21, 2017 by Huginn

[AilinKyung]

@Huginn Thanks for your complete answer! 

[Huginn]

You're welcome. 

[ajasatya]

@AilinKyung warning: deep suffering incoming. get ready to experience the pain of growth.

Edited August 21, 2017 by ajasatya

[AilinKyung]

@Shiva HAHAHAH "sexual racist" LOL 

 

I'm gonna do like Leo Gura did. He moved to Las Vegas in order to experience romantic relationships. I don't remember his specific reasons.

 

I was inpired moving out by him.

 

I'm gonna take massive action and be 100% responsible with my life.

 

I'm gonna generate income.

 

Working on my passive income and my passion business.

 

I'm gonna move out before turning 25.

 

[AilinKyung]

@ajasatya give me examples about the pain of growth!

I wanna understand you better

What do you really mean "deep suffering incoming and the experience of painful growth"?

[AilinKyung]

@Shiva

It's all about creating the life that I truly love living it. 

 

[ajasatya]

@AilinKyung any human being suffers greatly if he craves for a loving partner. i'm not saying that you shouldn't do it. if that's what you feel, then do it. let nobody else tell you what you should do.

but be sincere and honest with yourself. soon or later you'll realize that it's impossible to find happiness in someone else. it's not in your money, it's not in your social status, it's not in your relationships.

i did something similar to what you want to do. but i can't deny the fact that i was being needy, which is a helpless mindset.

[AilinKyung]

@ajasatya

I'm not needy.

I feel complete.

I love being on my own company.

I totally love being single.

I don't need no one.

But hey! If I'm awesome and that person too. We are gonna have more beautiful experience together! It's fun! 

First, I wanna meet many guys as possible so when I get married I can choose my husband wisely.

I could know what kind of guys exist out there!

Edited August 21, 2017 by AilinKyung

[Huginn]

2 hours ago, ajasatya said:

@AilinKyung any human being suffers greatly if he craves for a loving partner. i'm not saying that you shouldn't do it. if that's what you feel, then do it. let nobody else tell you what you should do.

but be sincere and honest with yourself. soon or later you'll realize that it's impossible to find happiness in someone else. it's not in your money, it's not in your social status, it's not in your relationships.

i did something similar to what you want to do. but i can't deny the fact that i was being needy, which is a helpless mindset.

I'm wondering if this is the same for men and women. Having read Deida's The Way of the Superior Man, which basically says that the man's priority is his purpose but the woman's is a great relationship, I wonder. As a man, I understand that having a good life purpose to follow is important for happiness. Would the same apply to women and pursuing great relationships? Not that they'd need a relationship to be happy, but maybe that's where they're more apt to get their drive? I don't know, but that book makes me wonder.

[Sevi]

My best advice is burn your boats and never ever turn back. That's the best way to move forward in such cases.

And the things @Huginn said else than that.

Even if the things goes the worst, you'll always be better than what and where you are right now.