Shrooms Trip Report - In Israel

hundreth
By hundreth in Psychedelics,
Unfortunately I don't know what kind of shrooms these were or the exact dosage. I'm a foreigner living in Israel, and I did things the old fashioned way. I bought them from a questionable dealer, and kept them for months until the right time. Don't worry though, these shrooms were fantastic! I've had quite a few Psilocybe trips before, but never solo. Still, I know I always feel the most grounded in nature when I'm on shrooms, so I went to HaYarkon park in northern Tel Aviv. I biked to a nice secluded area, locked my bike up, and prepared to sit and meditate. To contemplate on who I am, experience No Self. Not to go too far, get lost, lose my bike, get into trouble while I'm on shrooms, etc.  I sat down, ate them, and started to meditate and follow the plan. Within 10 minutes of them kicking in, I was off wandering in a completely different direction - in a state of blissful awe and curious exploration. Everything was so vivid and beautiful, really magical. I couldn't stop moving.  I had completely abandoned the plan. No self?? Who gives a shit? My inner child was let out. As I was on my journey, a thousand insights were hitting me at once. They were so deep and plentiful, I couldn't even hold them. Why had I abandoned the plan? I had all these fears. Don't get lost, don't deal with people much, stay in my lane nearby and stick to the agenda. It suddenly dawned on me, our EGO is simply our inner parent which we develop to keep us safe and allows us to manipulate the world. Without our egos, we would simply be directionless children. The catch is, even a child needs boundaries to feel safe. We NEED our egos to give us the lines for us to color in.  I was walking endlessly, and another fear popped into my mind: "Aren't you going to be exhausted if you keep walking in this heat?" - and my inner child went "Hell nah!" Onward I went, and I realized I had all the energy I needed. It was driven by this child like desire to play.  As it turns out, we generate and absorb life force when we're tapped into our child like desire to play. I'm generally a low energy guy, and have a lot of trouble maintaining the will to follow through on things. I realized my inner parent was way over powering my inner child to the point where it was literally stifling my "life force." It still feels odd using that term as it's the first time I've ever felt the need to use it, based on the inexplicable feeling I had on the shrooms.  When your inner parent or EGO is too strong, you literally stifle your ability to generate and absorb the life force around you. It's almost like you can't breathe the air that's around you. When you don't have enough play and exploration in your life, you are literally starving for life force and dying. I now knew what I needed to balance. I learned how to parent myself from my parents, and I desperately need to let go of control to find my life force in the only place you can find it - CHAOS. As children, you play in the wilderness, you get your hands dirty, you literally thrive in chaos. Our ego brings ORDER to the chaos and attempts to guide our inner child. It's very much like coloring within the lines. Without the lines, there is no form. Too many restrictions, and the art can't breathe and express. The thing is, all the life force you thrive on is deep inside the LIMITLESS CHAOS. I now understand this is why people who go through near death experiences or other extreme circumstances come out with a new appreciation for life. Our ideal selves are the perfect marriage of ORDER and CHAOS. As I kept walking alone, I was in such a blissful awesome state. I felt this deep desire to hug someone and share this, but I was alone. It's not as if anything was "missing" - but I really wanted to share this beauty. The insight arrived, duality is a GIFT we've given ourselves to be able to love and share. Duality is not the enemy, this is what we've chosen. We quite literally are all the "children of god". I now realized those words were divine. As I've said, I was in a very playful explorative state, and the mushrooms are a very playful spirit. It felt as though the shrooms spirit told my inner parent "Go sit down, I will guide him from here." So Ron shut the fuck up and the shrooms spirit took over, reminding me what it was to be a child and sharing hundreds of insights with me. It felt like I was plugged into the source of truth, but the spirit was giving me the answers in my own voice. Why was the spirit talking to me in my own voice? Then it hit me, I was talking to myself. The answers were all within me, but the only way I would understand them was through the channel of "another." In other words, of course I experienced the truth through the "other" - DUALITY IS ALL I'VE EVER KNOWN! Without duality, we quite literally would be nothing.  There were so many other insights gained, but I'm sharing some highlights to keep this from being insanely long. If these words resonated with you, I can't take any credit for them. They were given to me, and forms of the experience we all share. When you experience the beauty of being, the only thing to do is share it. Love to you all. - Ron
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