Psychology Of The Male And Female Minds

[Shakazulu]

A male being raised by a rational minded mother and a male growing up with a more femininely dominated mind. These two points stand out to me because they're root causes to flaws in identity. This destroyed my first/last relationship coming out of high-school. My ex was less needy(dominant) and I was a needy and inconfident boyfriend. What are solutions to growing past these weaknesses? 

[Sevi]

I wouldn't call them as weaknesses. A rational minded woman is a rare thing, and personally I find feminine qualities in a male mind quite attractive. You have a potential to master the complexity of intricate qualities within you. But it takes time. I think you are just young.

Sometimes 'less needy' looking people might make you doubt yourself. Honestly, there is no one on earth who is 'not needy' and no one is really confident. Just everyone has their own ways to deal with their needs and life; and you learn along the way which ends up being your 'confidence'.

But of course this fact shouldn't be a reason not to work on yourself and to understand your needs and your deep desires; to trace your root causes and heal them, that's one of the major reasons of existence actually.. most of the time those hurtful relationships or experiences in life are just nice causes to put you on a journey to yourself.

[Shakazulu]

@Sevi I appreciate the feedback. Thank you 

[Sevi]

@Shakazulu ❤

[Shane597]

@Sevi  After reading about male and female psychology I have found that love is a need for women and men love to be needed typically. So being so called needy is often misunderstood, I agree with you. It is not needy to really want quality friends and romance in your life, but it is "needy" to sacrfice your athuenticty for peoples' approval. But the art of putting yourself out there and reaching out to people is not needy in my opinion. 

What if I have a feminine quality in which I need to talk about my problems to someone in order to fix them, the few problems I have. I love to give, which women typically love to give, so I am less attractive if I love to give and it is unattractive if I love to talk according to the books on dating. I am not sure this is needy because this is how I am, I am still grounded in my purpose and am still overall more masculine than feminine but close minded women see this as weak and immediately lose atraction sometimes. I can manipulate them to like me by showing them all my masculine qualities, but it is almost programed in their head that I am supposed to be a certain way, that I can't be feminine in some ways. I am  probably 60% masculine and 40% feminine, but can't men in the middle still form polarity with the women of their dreams? I mean women have a lot of masculine qualities too, the only thing is most have never really looked deep. What are your thoughts? 

Edited August 28, 2017 by Shane597

[Sevi]

@Shane597 for example, personally I love men with feminine qualities, l write it like that to express it but to my opinion such a guy is very masculine with an evolutionized brain and consciousness structure. The 'masculine' guys scare me away, I feel they are impotent to connect to a woman (who is more evolutioned version of two genders: this is a personal point of view of course), I feel like I really can not find any meaningful, fulfilling or intimate connections to such men. Nothing to be offensive to those people, I'm just saying where I stand about how I feel in that quality.

I'm also a very sensitive and vulnerable person too, for example if I'm rejected it effects me more than a regular female; this is tricky because I look almost the opposite, meaning like not caring or not attached at all or even intimidating at times.. Now it's because I've learnt in my early years to deal with not to be accepted and a heartbreak, I learnt to distant myself and lick my wounds myself. I believe most of the people are quite the same about that. I'm writing this because what you see outside might not really be what you might have guessed.

In attraction, if someone looks down on you because of your personal qualities are not so much of a match to what the social conditioning is, yes it's hurtful at first; but you know, attraction is a long  paced game, I mean it doesn't end just like that at the end of first round. People will definitely have enough time to see and get what you really are. So don't be discouraged or intimidated once they react one way. You'll have your turns to make the shot.

Edited August 28, 2017 by Sevi
I definetly need to practice the grammar:))

[Sevi]

I wanted to send that part because my battery died once while I was writing:)

1 hour ago, Shane597 said:

I can manipulate them to like me by showing them all my masculine qualities, but it is almost programed in their head that I am supposed to be a certain way, that I can't be feminine in some ways.

Well, just one very simple attitude of yours: a simple conscious pause in the ongoing process of exchanging information, will let them know about your masculinity right away. Period.

Masculinity is about your consciousness level. When you see the other's consciousness is, you are the leader of the game (and growing up with a 'logical' 'female' already puts you ahead of the game right away) Don't be any hesitant, they'll get it sooner or later.

Edited August 28, 2017 by Sevi
Grammar:)) urgent practice needed:))

[Shane597]

@Sevi Thank you, ironically, the first guy you were helping had the same situation as myself, so I get why you thought we were the same, but I did not have a logical mom growing up, everything else is the same though, lol. But now I am not needy. Although, I am precived as being needy because I am so open minded to interpretations and personalities and my disire to help others. I come off needy and that is frustrating when it happens.

Edited August 28, 2017 by Shane597

[Sevi]

Please let me know if this is helpful or that I'm slightly off-topic

[Sevi]

@Shane597 oh! Sorry! Yes, I didn't realize it. I'll read what you have written again.

[Shane597]

@Sevi  It was, thanks. 

[Shane597]

@Sevi I made it easier to read now, sorry for the shity writing, lol. 

[Sevi]

14 minutes ago, Shane597 said:

@Sevi Although, I am precived as being needy because I am so open minded to interpretations and personalities and my disire to help others. I come off needy and that is frustrating when it happens.

Here, you need to train yourself to understand that the base ground of other people's responses might be relying on different reasons than you assume. For example, I grew up somehow needing as less help as possible from others, so if I really need help and ask for it, I generally become very fragile and that makes me loose my organic humanitive connection then I become way too distant at times, not because that I don't care or I see such situations, idk like, accusing other people's good intentions or something; but because I am uncomfortable. You see? And such cases (meaning being distant etc.) are not that much of an easy work to heal back to normal even if you have enough knowledge to help yourself and you do relevant practices.

So while sometimes you think you or what you do, is the reason or the subject of the uncomfort arising, it might perfectly be other one's wounded background.

If someone can not appreciate helpful people, or their effort of helping, it's really the indicator of their impotence and their incapability in life. It's as easy as that. 

[Sevi]

2 hours ago, Shane597 said:

so I am less attractive if I love to give

I really couldn't wrap my head around this. This is such a ridiculous thing I ever heard. I can not see any single connection that, how come some one who loves to give can be seen less attractive? I really didn't get it. If you want to open this to me a bit more then I'll read it later, since I'm gotta go now.@Shane597

Edited August 28, 2017 by Sevi

[Shane597]

I was reading "Men are from Mars and Wemon are from Venus" and in it Jhon Grey says it is more of a feminine thing to give and that is women's tendency, they feel like all they do is give and get nothing in return and men say no matter what they do they can't make their women happy.This case is only with bad relationships though. I was thinking that if I gave to a closed minded women they might see that as weak, in fact that has happened, kind of like I am nealing to their superior presents, bullshit. Some women actually think this way, or they just blow me off because they don't find that attractive, idk. Some people just suck!

Edited August 29, 2017 by Shane597

[Shane597]

@Sevi I posted the last post as an explanation on giving. 

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Shane597 said:

I was reading "Men are from Mars and Wemon are from Venus" and in it Jhon Grey says it is more of a feminine thing to give and that is women's tendency, they feel like all they do is give and get nothing in return and men say no matter what they do they can't make their women happy.This case is only with bad relationships though. I was thinking that if I gave to a closed minded women they might see that as weak, in fact that has happened, kind of like I am nealing to their superior presents, bullshit. Some women actually think this way, or they just blow me off because they don't find that attractive, idk. Some people just suck!

If you look at the masculine and feminine principle, giving is actually part of masculinity... not femininity. So, don't overthink things that women will see your giving-nature as weak. Women are really attracted to men who are generous. And I don't mean just with money. I mean generous with their time, energy, encouragement, affection, attention, and resources. The main thing is not to take what you have too seriously and hold things to yourself for fear of her getting one-up on you or fear of seeming weak. This type of ungenerous spirit, comes off as stingy and petty and is a sign of insecurity. And it makes a man seem like a boy.

My father has always embodied a kind of generous and warm-hearted spirit, where he doesn't take anything that he has that seriously. So, he can share freely in a very jovial and detached kind of way. And it's a very masculine kind of trait that adds to the rest of his personality which is masculine. To give you an image to relate him to, the Marlboro Man has always reminded me of my dad. And he's also a mechanic, who's been working on cars since he was ten years old. And I remember back when I was ten years old in Sam's club, and my Dad was showing me how strong his grip was by squeezing an industrial scale that went up to like 1000 lbs. And with just his fingertips, he was able to exert hundreds of pounds of pressure. So, he's definitely not someone who is feminine, nor would he be seen as a weak man. But he's a giver. He'd give you the shirt right off his back if you needed it. And he doesn't really care what anyone thinks about his generosity. And these traits, in themselves read as very masculine traits. And more importantly, they're very admirable traits.

So, the main thing is just to put concern of women thinking this way or that way about you to the side, and just embrace your giving nature toward life in general. It's a really excellent trait to integrate into your personality regardless of your gender. When you overthink, and think "Should I hold this back so that she doesn't think I'm weak?" then you want to remind yourself that you're not doing it for her. You're doing it to become a better quality person first. Then, as you become better and more authentic, more people will be attracted to you and enjoy your presence. And women will take notice of this too.  And you'll always attract women who mirror your own issues. So, the way to attract a woman who is going to accept you, is to accept yourself.

Because women who are really interested in you don't care about what particular traits that you have. They care about you as a whole person and how the experience of "you" makes them feel.

 

Edited August 29, 2017 by Emerald

[Shane597]

Ya, I think I was a little bias and I meant to say that it is a woman's tendacy to give a lot in the relationship not that giving is not masculine.  But you are right I am geting lost in my head and going back to a fearful boy's mentality. I will weed those weak mindsets out and constantly think in a higher way. Thanks for giving me a clear perspective. @Emerald 

Edited August 29, 2017 by Shane597

[Shane597]

@Shiva I am not needy. I just want to help people.

[Shane597]

@Emerald Do you have a job? Because I have been writing a blog lately and I have let people know about it yet. I was wondering if your YouTube channel interferes with your job meaning have they been hard on you for your YouTube content posted, maybe even fire you?