Issues With Getting Stuff Done

[Damir Elezi]

I noticed that I am very good at conceptualizing and understanding stuff, but whenever it comes to doing the practical work or solving practical problems which necessarily occur, I find myself trying to avoid problems and rather indulge in mental masturbation and all kinds of theoretical thought processes, which have nothing to do with the thing I am working on and/or I get lost in media and porn addiction,  which really just feels like an extention of my tendency to avoid real problems. To avoid the real world basically. 

I especially noticed this in the last few days while I was trying to do some paper work in order to move into a new appartment. I hate going from office to office and getting all these different papers and forms (you gotta fill in a whole catalogue of forms if you want to do anything here in germany) and even though it's not hard to do, I procrastinate to the point where I have to do everything at once on the last day. I am very good at making plans and motivating myself for some hours but it seems like my mind tries to avoid the simple steps and the every day boring tasks at all costs. I know that those simple steps are what success and growth is build upon and I start to really lose self respect because of this. This also means that I lack discipline and so on.

Does anyone know what I can do about that? Thank you in advance, you are all wonderful people

[egoeimai]

you know its difficult  to work on things when you have so many temptations around you  and pleasures waiting for your attention. 

I have the same issue. 

But I think you shouldn't  beat yourself up at this very moment you need your support and you are slowing the progress if you are hard on yourself. 

So first thing is this. 

Second, to really do the stuff you are supposed to do. I've realized that we came here to experience a lot of stuff and its really a gift, life's a gift, so do those things as well I'm sure they will benefit you in a long run. 

Remember that you are NOT  the body so, really see it like just you are not YOU, like doing all these things in exchange for the body you've been given as a gift. 

I don't know  if I was clear. 

[Arkandeus]

I may take me three or four days sometimes to do something simple as my laundry. 
Meaning that from the day I actually intend to do my laundry, it takes that much time to muster the willpower. 

It's not that obvious though. Doing the laundry requires a certain amount of consciousness, not much but it does. 
in the meantime that I'm not doing the laundry my consciousness is trying to figure all sorts of things about life. 
like my relation to the world, detachment from things and events, detachment from sexual desire, detachment from comfort, detachment from others....there's all sorts of things that are running in the back of your mind. 
I may not do the laundry for a few days but in the meantime I'm figuring out all sorts of neuroticisms.
 

You need time to do your emotional work, you need time to develop your consciousness, to be conscious about new things, to absorb and learn new processes that bring you closer to enlightenment. 
real time and real energy are needed for this
which is why meditation and doing nothing is great, because you're not doing nothing
there is no such thing as not doing anything, it's not because you're not engaged in a physical way doing something that you're not trying to figure your life out.
a hundred percent of the time, you are figuring this out, when you sleep, you dream, you're still figuring out.
you're doing nothing, you're still figuring it out, the stream of knowledge and consciousness is non-stop.

this is invisible to the eye, but it is a real ongoing process that sometimes demands real energy and real time, and if sometimes you feel like you're being ''lazy'' and without motivation, you're not really being lazy, it just means your being is very focused on metaphysical processes and development of consciousness and the resolving of emotional issues.

if you're having a hard doing something simple it means you're working very hard on figuring out stuff in your consciousness, you're more focused on working on your frame of reality rather then in it directly. 
it's better to know that this activity exists, you shape reality from within ,but also from the outside, as reality exists within your consciousness
 

Edited August 15, 2017 by Arkandeus

[Erlend K]

What kinds of problems are you having, that you feel unable to deal with? Maybe you should take a break from studying theory, to free up some time and mental resources? 

[egoeimai]

@Arkandeus as for  sex maybe its the most non-conscious process, its very natural. I think it requires  only the senses of the human body? And maybe instincts?  

[Arkandeus]

2 hours ago, egoeimai said:

@Arkandeus as for  sex maybe its the most non-conscious process, its very natural. I think it requires  only the senses of the human body? And maybe instincts?  

yeah that's a good observation.
it's definitely easy to get lost in the lust and the relentless pursuit of pleasure in sex. 
but sex is really not bad in my opinion, it's just the approach to it. 
either having sex 1) because you have an intimate and affectionate relationship with someone or 2) having sex because you find someone attractive and you feel like feeling good. 

I think that's a better way to put it. From which place the desire of sex comes. 

If it's an act of trying to feel better, you feel sort of average and you long for sex, you long for the ecstacy of it then you're trying to escape your dull feelings and get to a better place. This would be sex as an act of moving up into a state that's more pleasurable.
I would really see it as an upward movement, trying to get somewhere

Then there's the downward movement. Having sex as an expression. an expression of the love between you and someone else. 
it's not sex for the sake of sex, it just sex as a natural consequence of being in love with someone. 
In this case you already feel good and complete, you're in love with someone, the sex is not about filling up a void, it's an expression of something that is already there and thus sex flows out from you, it's an expression.

Instead of you trying to flow into sex, which is more an act of seeking. 

but depending on your level of consciousness you might not be ready to commit to only having sex when you feel a really genuine connection...if you still feel there are things to explore in casual sex there is nothing wrong with that either. 
For all I know random casual sex can certainly fit with enlightenment, but for me at least, personally, it does not fit with my path

Edited August 15, 2017 by Arkandeus

[Damir Elezi]

2 hours ago, Erlend K said:

What kinds of problems are you having, that you feel unable to deal with? Maybe you should take a break from studying theory, to free up some time and mental resources? 

I don't feel unable to deal with anything,  I just don't do it I know that I can do all the stuff I put my mind to but it never really gets accomplished practically unless the bad consequences really lead me to a mental break down and then I do it last minute out of stress and fear.

[Damir Elezi]

3 hours ago, Arkandeus said:

I may take me three or four days sometimes to do something simple as my laundry. 
Meaning that from the day I actually intend to do my laundry, it takes that much time to muster the willpower. 

It's not that obvious though. Doing the laundry requires a certain amount of consciousness, not much but it does. 
in the meantime that I'm not doing the laundry my consciousness is trying to figure all sorts of things about life. 
like my relation to the world, detachment from things and events, detachment from sexual desire, detachment from comfort, detachment from others....there's all sorts of things that are running in the back of your mind. 
I may not do the laundry for a few days but in the meantime I'm figuring out all sorts of neuroticisms.
 

You need time to do your emotional work, you need time to develop your consciousness, to be conscious about new things, to absorb and learn new processes that bring you closer to enlightenment. 
real time and real energy are needed for this
which is why meditation and doing nothing is great, because you're not doing nothing
there is no such thing as not doing anything, it's not because you're not engaged in a physical way doing something that you're not trying to figure your life out.
a hundred percent of the time, you are figuring this out, when you sleep, you dream, you're still figuring out.
you're doing nothing, you're still figuring it out, the stream of knowledge and consciousness is non-stop.

this is invisible to the eye, but it is a real ongoing process that sometimes demands real energy and real time, and if sometimes you feel like you're being ''lazy'' and without motivation, you're not really being lazy, it just means your being is very focused on metaphysical processes and development of consciousness and the resolving of emotional issues.

if you're having a hard doing something simple it means you're working very hard on figuring out stuff in your consciousness, you're more focused on working on your frame of reality rather then in it directly. 
it's better to know that this activity exists, you shape reality from within ,but also from the outside, as reality exists within your consciousness
 

You may be right about that, but the simple steps are important nonetheless. If I don't do them at all, all the big thinking won't be worth anything. 

[Arkandeus]

38 minutes ago, Damir Elezi said:

You may be right about that, but the simple steps are important nonetheless. If I don't do them at all, all the big thinking won't be worth anything. 

true, simple steps are very important.  
I do want to let you know I'm not really talking about thinking, although it seems that way. 
I try to think the least possible, what I meant is that consciousness works invisibly, even when you're not thinking, when you're not doing anything literally, your consciousness is evolving, and your subconscious is at work so to speak, tuning your behavior and emotions towards helping you reach your goals and desires. 
as long as you somewhat stay in the present moment and in touch with your feelings of course

[Damir Elezi]

41 minutes ago, Arkandeus said:

true, simple steps are very important.  
I do want to let you know I'm not really talking about thinking, although it seems that way. 
I try to think the least possible, what I meant is that consciousness works invisibly, even when you're not thinking, when you're not doing anything literally, your consciousness is evolving, and your subconscious is at work so to speak, tuning your behavior and emotions towards helping you reach your goals and desires. 
as long as you somewhat stay in the present moment and in touch with your feelings of course

You're right, thanks you so much for the advice, I appreciate it

[Damir Elezi]

@egoeimai I didn't get that Part about the Body, can you elaborate on that a Bit more?

[egoeimai]

1 hour ago, Damir Elezi said:

@egoeimai I didn't get that Part about the Body, can you elaborate on that a Bit

So I said that if you are demotivated to do stuff at the moment, remember that you are not the mind or the problems or the person, 

(so all you do is to improve  your life right!?)  

so if your ego resists and says oh no I won't do that, even if it beneficial to the body mind etc, do it because what you've been given is a gift (as long as you are not the body, you only use it as a tool to experience life) so appreciate your gift and do whatever it takes to take care of it, do the things that are beneficial to it and even paying your bills is gonna serve your body because your body needs a place to rest and food and wellness. 

So doing all these is like you are appreciating what you have, and you are still the observer, as long as you are not identifyin with it. 

[Joseph Maynor]

You got 3 avenues to work within to solve your resistance problems permanently.  You can't become a self-control master until you pay your dues in all three avenues.  You need to cultivate all 3.

1.  Personal development theory

2.  Life purpose work

3.  Enlightenment work

Edited August 16, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[shahryar]

I believe you should set your self respect and self esteem as unconditional ones, the problem of letting go of what you've planned for and motivated your self for some days goes back to your lacking of consciousness so when ever you think you should be doing something that you wont 10 minutes of meditation immediately will raise your consciousness to a functional level this way you can do your chores and start to keep journals about your activities to build discipline and good habits. staying functional needs maintenance of focus and consciousness which is what you really lack, also have some activities that takes courage to do so, for instance cold shower, its a binary option either you do it or you wont and that will raise your  ability to execute your plans 

[egoeimai]

@shahryar Right!  One question.  What is the purpose of doing chores* and why should you do it?  

 

*as well as all things you behave upon as if they were chores. 

[shahryar]

5 minutes ago, egoeimai said:

@shahryar Right!  One question.  What is the purpose of doing chores* and why should you do it?  

 

*as well as all things you behave upon as if they were chores. 

if you find some of thos unnecessary then simply dont do them the ones you do has to serve youre purpose for example cleaning house serves our purpose by keeping us healthy and raises our disipline and give us more self esteem so this is an example for purpose of chores

[Bob84]

On 8/15/2017 at 0:53 PM, Damir Elezi said:

I noticed that I am very good at conceptualizing and understanding stuff, but whenever it comes to doing the practical work or solving practical problems which necessarily occur, I find myself trying to avoid problems and rather indulge in mental masturbation and all kinds of theoretical thought processes, which have nothing to do with the thing I am working on and/or I get lost in media and porn addiction,  which really just feels like an extention of my tendency to avoid real problems. To avoid the real world basically. 

I especially noticed this in the last few days while I was trying to do some paper work in order to move into a new appartment. I hate going from office to office and getting all these different papers and forms (you gotta fill in a whole catalogue of forms if you want to do anything here in germany) and even though it's not hard to do, I procrastinate to the point where I have to do everything at once on the last day. I am very good at making plans and motivating myself for some hours but it seems like my mind tries to avoid the simple steps and the every day boring tasks at all costs. I know that those simple steps are what success and growth is build upon and I start to really lose self respect because of this. This also means that I lack discipline and so on.

Does anyone know what I can do about that? Thank you in advance, you are all wonderful people

You just do it. When you start mentaly mastrubating about it, just stop and get to work. 

Thats all. Dont mental mastrubate about this awnser

Edited August 16, 2017 by Bob84

[Shin]

The fact that you are conscious of it is enough.
You won't be able to do nothing with enough awareness, sooner or later you'll start to do the thing you tell yourself to do but never did.

It definitely works, the first few times will be stressfull because you think it'll be luck based, after that you'll see that it's just a matter of time.
I would like too to change many many things at once, but it's just not possible, that's not how growth actually works (except, maybe, for few hardcore people).

It's already a miracle in itself to have the will to change deeply, and to actually begin to do it, most people would never EVER do this, so considere yourself lucky, to actually see and admit your own bullshit.

Now, where to start ?
Well I always say that you have to start with a meditation practice, there is so many MANY reasons for this that I won't describe here (just google it and watch Leo's video about it), but basically, with enough time it will change THE FUCK of your internal world.

All the worry, anxiety, anger, neediness, fear, all this shit decrease to the point it becomes irrelevant.
It's not a magic pill, it just puts you on the right spot to deal with the shit you need to deal with, and it snowball on that.

After like 2 to 3 months (or more, until it becomes a habit), start to exercice daily if you don't have a physical job, main reason for this is for energy circulation, without physical exercice you won't have the will and energy to do anything.

Then eventually you'll have to stop porn and masturbation altogether, it's just so bad for your psychee, you have no idea lol.
When you can say no to your sexual urges, even when some really orgasmic woman you like A LOT wants to fuck with you, it's when you can say you have real self-control.
Not only that, but you have just so much energy in you that it just become ridiculous, there is just so much you don't even know what to do with it, it's like a cheat code to life  

 

Edited August 16, 2017 by Shin