Sweden Peeps, Pls Say Hi!

[Fredrik Andersson]

Im from Sweden, I'm curious if there is anyone els who lives here? 

Would be cool to talk about your PD journey, what you working on right now etc. 

I live in Västmanland, Sala (near Västerås). Hola /Fred

[Spiral]

It’s going to be a bit of rant, but here we go.

Like many others here on the forum, I was in a problematic situation and started PD to solve the problem. Mine was a severe video game addiction. I would skip school on regularly basis and I would hate going on vacations because, you can’t play on those…

One day I stopped, was 19(two years ago). Unfortunately all my friends were into videogames so I lost them in the process. So there I was: no friends, virgin, with a lack any social skill and with a lot of time on my hands. So I had a look at social dynamics and pickup, never did any pickup but my journey started here.

Year 1. (19-20)

So now things improved? No, not at all. It went from “meh guess my life is kind of boring” to Hell. I don’t what to go into that but, I got completely fucked up. But I technically lost my virginity so at least I got the squared away.

Year 2. (20-21)

So started by moving out of a drug addicts apartment, felt like good idea . It really was, because doing so got me to meet this girl, she was my new neighbor. We became friends, I made some more friends and got myself a girlfriend. During this time I also got my social skills in order. Unfortunately I also got way too confident.

Year 3. (21-22)

So I’m here now.

Currently I’m improving my motivation levels, improving my habits and getting a realistic level of self-esteem, meditation. I also quit porn. 

Hopefully I can fix the damage I got the first year, but I probably need to see some kind of medical professional for that. To be honest don’t even think that could too much. Had a chat with a psychology student, never seen anyone so scared. Even I felt strange from her reaction. So I’m a bit reluctant to see a psychiatrist. But don't think that i'm crazy or something, to other people(in real life) I seem really kind yet cold.

[Fredrik Andersson]

@Spiral
Cool journey, sounds like you accomplished a lot in a short time.
What do you mean by too confident? In what way does that become a problem in you life? Just curious. Peace

[Spiral]

@Fredrik Andersson Confidence is all about the things you think you can achieve things. If your confidence is too high you believe you can achieve what you can't. 

You are also become in sense to intensive for people creating unhealthy relationships, especially with people whom have low confidence. Often a type of neurotic worship(with you being worshiped). This is a slight over exaggeration to get my point across but, if you see yourself as a god others will also do that and that creates problems. Unless you want to start a cult

You will also seem smug and self-satisfied which is unappealing.

Edit: Here is an example. Normal guy: "mm I think I can get her number... "Me: "Yeah I can have sex with her on that roof, got nothing better do anyway, let's do that to pass the time."

Edited August 14, 2017 by Spiral

[Fredrik Andersson]

@Spiral Okey, I can see how that can become a problem. I think I might have to much confidence as well then, in some areas at least. With girls, I don't, but in most regular interactions with people. I just don't really care how they see me for the most part.. interpret me. Sure, I might look like this and that, and might not bend to public opinion etc, but I think thats a good thing. to believe in myself and what I thing is true. 

On the other hand, people don't see me as "smug and self-satisfied". Which make me a bit confused actually. If to have high confidence is combined with being interpret as smug etc. Maybe I don't have "to much" then, just the right amount. But I defiantly know how it feels to have to little. I mean, my confidence levels with girls is fucked up man haha. 

How did you do to overcome the girl issue? Would be nice to read about that journey, struggles and insights.  

[deadforever]

Hi from Hofors, Gävleborg 

[Little Plant]

@Spiral "when you're too confidence you believe you can achieve things you can't" i just fell down my chair reading this  what do you believe is unachievable? 

Be aware of the limitations you create by thinking that some things are just impossible. Why?!  Don't spread info that some things  are just impossible. So far from the Truth. 

you block yourself from having sex with girls on random roofs, believing you can't. Go Be You Mate ????? 

 

What would happen if you never thought you never could? How would life be? Seems impossible? 

Edited August 15, 2017 by Little Plant

[Spiral]

@Little Plant I'm not saying it's impossible but I shouldn't be 100% certain either, which I am because of experience.

I mean can you be 100%  certainty say that you'll wake up on mars tomorrow. I mean it's possible but very unlikely.

[Siv]

Hej @Fredrik Andersson

I live in Sweden but can't speak Swedish though ( just learned a bit). Right now, I am doing my studies ?

 

[Fredrik Andersson]

@Siv Hey!

Nice, so where are you originally from? haha don't even try to learn it, it's so hard and complicated. Im born here and still like to talk more english than Swedish. Also, almost everyone talk good english here, so really no desperate need to learn the language, unless you just think its fun and like to learn. 

What are you doing here in Sweden? And tell us a little about your journey. I'll post a little about me below. 

[Fredrik Andersson]

@art haha what the fuck a Norwegian self actualizer. Who would have thought!? Lived in Norway, love that Country. So I have nothing but respects to pay to its people! 

[Fredrik Andersson]

@Spiral @deadforever @art @Siv

Hey! If you're up for it, post your information about you and your journey. Maybe you find some likeminded friends a long the way that lives close by. 

Fredrik Andersson
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Location: Sweden (born)
Marital status: Single
Kids : No (and don't want kids)
Occupation : recently quit my job (carpenter). 
Hobbies : personal development, positive psychology, writing (poetry, rap, speeches etc), movies, women, marketing, projects, motivation and making music.

Challenges i've overcome so far. 
Hard addiction: Drugs, mostly marijuana, valium and pain pills  (5 years addiction) Quitted aug 5 2015 (two years free).
Sorting out toxic relationships. 
Be able to cry, both from happiness and grief. 
Trying to be like someone else rather than working to discover YOUR authentic self. (Leo's trap list)
Assuming that successful people, like your favorite role-models, celebrities, professors, CEOs, etc are happy (Leo's trap list)
Working a job/career just for the money (Leo's trap list)
Consuming mainstream media. Not realizing how toxic modern media and entertainment is. (Leo's trap list)
Expecting people close to you to understand and support your efforts to grow. (Leo's trap list)

Personal challenges I'm trying to overcome (more long term).
Stress (trying to change too much too fast. Lack of focus)
Prioritize 
How to deal with emotions (Distracting myrself from facing emptiness, negative emotions, loneliness, and ego backlashes).
Procrastination 
Chasing quick-fixes. Not wanting to explore issues deeply or solve problems at their root. (Leo's trap list)
Balance: Money-Follow dreams. (trying to find a way to pay ends meat with out selling my soul until I find out whats true for me)
Not having a big vision for my life.
Quitting when emotional upheaval surfaces. (Leo's trap list)
Letting yourself get lulled back to sleep by our toxic and indifferent culture. (Leo's trap list)

What Im working on now:
Life Purpose Course + Books (Right now on So good they can't ignore you By Cal Newport)
Follow my bliss and see where it leads me
Stress (using/learning to implement baby-stepping strategy) + KBT sessions about the roots of my stress.
Actualized.org/start Introduction part
Not reading, not learning, not doing enough research. (Leo's trap list)
Dealing with sorting out low consciousness/egotistical choices from my life (mostly girls)
Limiting believes (mostly about quitting bad habits, hard addictions like nicotine and porn, and soft ones like external affirmations)

Edited August 16, 2017 by Fredrik Andersson
spelling

[art]

@Fredrik Andersson I've lived in Sweden as well ? Loved it..! Just a friendly sibling joke. Söta bror?

[Siv]

Hello @Fredrik Andersson @Spiral @deadforever @art ,

I am doing my studies now but dont know if I have passion on my subject. So wanted to learn about it and searched for videos on YouTube recently. Fortunately, I found Leo's video about "how to find your passion-why you have no passion-how to fix it". That's how I got into this website and forum. I started watching Leo's videos in the website but haven't started the course. Hopefully, will do it soon. 

My main problem is lacking motivation to do stuff these days. This makes me to think about my career path. One thing confuses me is clarity about my career. The clarity about what I am want to be, do I really like the career path that I had chosen? So, I am working on it now. As Leo says, it's not very quick to find the passion and need to work on it for years. So, I am continuing doing stuff that I have been doing. However, with more observations to see if I just work  because I supposed to do or if I really like stuff that I have been doing. 

Edited August 17, 2017 by Siv