What Should I Do About My Father?

[Sagatarius]

He and I have never gotten on. we are completely different. There is no communication except when he has some petty judgment to make.  

He has very low probably no awareness and has absolutely no idea how his behavior affects everyone in my family making him a complete hypocrite practicing nothing he preaches, acting self-righteous. his values vs mine are completely different. He cares about tradition, chases money, chases adventure, values tradition and heritage telling me "you to have to care about your heritage and background because it's who you are!" another obligation to fill. As if my heritage is actually a part of me located somewhere inside my genes, body, or my brain, I hate tradition and hate needless strings attached to me like it's my duty to honor and protect my cultural ethnicity. He does not value learning, has no clue about self-actualization, projects all his emotions, perfectionist, lies, and extremely conservative. Interested in nothing but watching free to air, boring, mindless, brain dulling, monkey reality/game shows. He has been doing this for decades at least 6 hours a night and more on weekends. If he didn't have to work he'd just watch TV all day.                                                                                                           

I'm the opposite, I'm in a dichotomy. I value completely different things like personal development, art, learning, seeing new perspectives, understanding others and the world, truth, etc. Very liberal. I want to get the most out of life. 

It's so frustrating. I want to get out of my home and get away from him and never have anything to do with him again. I already tried introducing him to self-help, or mindfulness, he throws it back at me and says "this is just more of your philosophical crap". Completely closed minded and living a caged life. I want a charged life. I'm 19 and he is 50.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         What should I do? when I rise up and have the readiness to leave home and get into the school/uni I want http://fzdschool.com/ should I just completely cut him off? I fear that if I get married I'll just recreate the same family situation I have now with my children or treat my wife terribly. And I have heard too often about escaping from dysfunctional family stories backfiring. 

I really need to work on shortening making my posts shorter

[Spiral]

Notice how you only complain about your father's traits, it would be native of you to think all his values are wrong and have some bad intention. It is common to think that you know everything when you are young and to be rebellious. Seeing the value in conservatism requires wisdom.  Seeing the value in liberalism not so much.  So i'm saying you should listen to him and become like him, no. But only blaming someone else is flawed. 

If uni is what you want, then go for it. I would not stay with someone whom is treating me poorly unless i have to. As for backfiring no you'll do fine. 

[aurum]

@Sagatarius

Yup, time to fly from the nest.

You may have to wait to see how he reacts to you leaving for school. 

Are you financially independent? What are you waiting for to leave for school?

[ajasatya]

On 8/13/2017 at 2:14 AM, Sagatarius said:

I fear that if I get married I'll just recreate the same family situation I have now with my children or treat my wife terribly. And I have heard too often about escaping from dysfunctional family stories backfiring.

beautiful. this is wonderful. fly, golden bird! fly and purify yourself!

to prevent backfiring, spend some time working on yourself, like 2~3 years. change radically.

there's no need for fear. if you act from a place of compassion for existence and alignment with your heart, i doubt anything will ever go wrong.

[Sagatarius]

@aurum my post earlier was just after he'd done something stupid, so I was really pissed and ranted. I have been struggling with getting a job recently but that got resolved a few days ago. now I have a job as a dental assistant (part time) and another as a labourer for events (casual; they send shifts over text and I can accept them or decline, pretty cool I think). I have a 5K debt from University that I left because it was not my life purpose and I was not passionate about the subject anymore. I'm teaching myself art so I can make a portfolio to get into the school I want, which will probably be a few years from now because it costs 35K upfront divided between 2 semesters. So I'll be saving for a while. 

[Sagatarius]

@ajasatya thank you. I've picked up bad these bad traits and they need to be unwired.