Body Getting Sick After Insight

[Max_V]

Yesterday I had the realization that what I essentially am is not the body. In the beginning this felt liberating and strange. 

Now I am getting sick. I constantly feel as if I'm going to pass out. I feel quite scared about this.

I know that I'm the one observing the anxiety, but it still feels this real to me.

Is it a common side effect of realization that the body can become sick? 

[Shin]

That's a defense mechanism of the ego, it's totally normal.

[Azrael]

@Max_V, expect illness, physical and mental, pains arising from nowhere, headaches, signs of real mental illness, craziness, suicidal thoughts. This is all normal. Seriously, as heavy as this sounds. Just think of having suicidal thoughts as someone who would never think about killing himself. Well, it's fucking freaky, be prepared. Basically your mind/body are physiologically changing, rewiring themselves. The nervous system is changing and this'll trigger all kind of crazy shit.

[Max_V]

Thanks guys, even though this is quite difficult for me to handle, I'm really happy with this insight. 

It feels as though I'm meditating all the time.

The pain and fear is just there. Normally I would have totally identified myself with it, but now I feel like there is some tiny space between what I really am and these sensations/thoughts

Quite beautiful to be aware of really

 

[Arman]

To add, if you ever feel like going to the doctor, you probably should.

[Nahm]

@Max_V If you are experiencing anxiety, you are not the one observing it, you are the one creating it. 

[starsofclay]

your ego could be fighting back. You should try to keep one step ahead of your ego and learn to transmute any negative feelings into positive ones. The first step is to feel the emotions completely, and don't be afraid of them. Then breathe through them, and transmute, not replace, with feelings of joy, love and so on. If you feel like you need to go to the doctor, then go. But don't fall into the trap of taking anxiety medicine unless you feel you can effectively wean yourself off in due time.

Edited August 12, 2017 by starsofclay

[ajasatya]

@Max_V i don't know about your likes, but in moments like this i'd go to some indian restaurant to eat some marvelously healthy vegan food.

[Prabhaker]

7 hours ago, Max_V said:

I'm the one observing the anxiety

Anxiety happens when you don't live in present moment.

[Martin123]

7 hours ago, Shin said:

That's a defense mechanism of the ego, it's totally normal.

Thats not the most helpful way to think about this.

 

16 minutes ago, Prabhaker said:

Anxiety happens when you don't live in present moment.

How do you not live in the present moment? The present moment is all there is. You cannot NOT live in it.

 

7 hours ago, Max_V said:

Yesterday I had the realization that what I essentially am is not the body. In the beginning this felt liberating and strange. 

Now I am getting sick. I constantly feel as if I'm going to pass out. I feel quite scared about this.

I know that I'm the one observing the anxiety, but it still feels this real to me.

Is it a common side effect of realization that the body can become sick? 

This happens all the time. As insights come, and you evolve, your body is trying to energetically catch-up to ground itself in the energy of the higher paradigm. This may look like illness, exhaustion, loads of things. 
You can look at it as going through an upgrade, your body needs a little time to install the new software, which requires it to run a little slower for some time.
It's normal, you might as well get used to it. The cycles of integrating new energy will become more and more frequent as you go on. Especially after things like psychadelic trips or intense changes in your life or perception.
But as it was said before, if you feel like you need to see a doc, do it.

Edit: Btw don't be afraid to give yourself a break when in this phase. No, the spiritual-police will not come if you bingewatch a TV show chugging on ice-cream while hugging a pillow crying out how lonely you are. 
It's okay. x) 
Give your beloved ego some chance and comfort to integrate.

Edited August 12, 2017 by Martin123

[Max_V]

@Martin123 When I had my first insight that involved space between awareness and object, I was very weak for a couple days. But afther having this huge insight, I feel very light headed all the time. I feel like there is something wrong with the body and that is pretty freightening for me.

I've already had my heart checked out before because I have chest pain. My doctor told my my heart was very healthy so no problem should be coming from it.

Lightheadedness and chestpain are symptoms that anxiety brings with it though, so this is a pretty vicious circle. I notice these sensations, Thoughts come up like "There must be something wrong with my body..." That brings even more anxiety which then enlarges the chance of these symptoms occuring again

@Prabhaker @Nahm But when you consciously watch pain or anxiety, how can you at the same time create it? Isn't that something that happens unconsciously, that you can do nothing about?

@Azrael That gives some comfort knowing.

My thoughts are getting pretty weird these days indeed. I keep seeing myself in the future dying from a heart attack wherever I go. Quite fearful really.

The first thing that I thought of when I got to my holiday appartment was which phone number will contact the ambulance the quickest in case I do collapse, and if there are any hospitals nearby.

Today I was hiking in the mountains of Austria with my parents and little bro. I kept feeling lightheaded and every time I was becoming aware of my heart beating fast, fear arose that something was going to happen.

[Prabhaker]

1 hour ago, Martin123 said:

How do you not live in the present moment? The present moment is all there is. You cannot NOT live in it.

@Max_V All anxiety is either of the past or of the future. Old tendencies, old habits, will force you to go into the future and into the past. The moment you remember, relax -- relax in the now. I'm not saying to fight with them. If you fight you will create anxiety. 

When you feel anxious, anxiety-ridden, what is one to do? What do you ordinarily do when anxiety is there? You try to solve it. You try alternatives, and you get more and more into it. You will create a bigger mess because anxiety cannot be solved through thinking. It cannot be dissolved through thinking because thinking itself is a sort of anxiety.

This technique says don’t do anything with anxiety. Just be alert!

I will tell you one old anecdote about Bokuju, another Zen master. He lived alone in a cave, but during the day, or even in the night, he would sometimes say loudly, “Bokuju” – his own name, and then he would say, “Yes, I am here.” And no one else was there. 
Then his disciples used to ask him, “Why are you calling ‘Bokuju’, your own name, and then saying, ‘Yes sir, I am here’?” 
He said, “Whenever I get into thinking, I have to remember to be alert, and so I call my own name, ‘Bokuju.’ The moment I call ‘Bokuju’ and I say, ‘Yes sir, I am here,’ the thinking, the anxiety disappears.”

Then, in his last days, for two or three years, he never called “Bokuju,” his name, and never had to reply, “Yes sir, I am here.” 
The disciples asked, “Master, now you never do this.” 
So he said, “But now Bokuju is always there. He is always there, and there is no need. Before I used to miss him. Sometimes the anxiety would take me, cloud me all over, and Bokuju was not there. So I had to remember ‘Bokuju,’ and the anxiety would disappear....”

Try your name. When you feel deep anxiety, just call your name – not “Bokuju” or any name, but your name – and then reply to it, “Yes sir, I am here,” and feel the difference. Anxiety will not be there. At least for a single moment you will have a glimpse beyond the clouds, and that glimpse can be deepened. Once you know that if you become alert anxiety is not there, it disappears; you have come to a deep knowing of your own self and the mechanism of inner working. 

Excerpted from Osho, The Book of Secrets, Talk #41

[Azrael]

15 hours ago, Max_V said:

Today I was hiking in the mountains of Austria with my parents and little bro. I kept feeling lightheaded and every time I was becoming aware of my heart beating fast, fear arose that something was going to happen.

You have to see for yourself whether this is still mental or maybe a real condition. If you think you have a condition, maybe see a doctor and make some tests. This could be unrelated to this work. Be safe.

[Max_V]

@Azrael I've had a blood test about 3 months ago and my heart checked twice. These sensations should be totally mental.

Sometimes my mind tricks me though, that there is really something wrong with me. What power the mind has is incredible. I've had many occasions where I felt so sick but there was nothing that could be found on the physical level.

Looks like I will just have to go through this phase of struggle.

I would really like to know though, how do I stay highly conscious of these uncomfortable sensations ? I try to ask myself who is aware of these sensations, but the turmoil is so great that I cannot do anything, it is simply too overwhelming.

[Azrael]

17 hours ago, Max_V said:

I would really like to know though, how do I stay highly conscious of these uncomfortable sensations ?

You think you are in low-consciousness mode because you are flooded with bad sensations and disturbing thoughts, but you aren't. What's happening is that the suit (that I talked about in my last thread) is opening up and all the daemons that are locked inside are coming out. So it's good. Just keep going on.

[Max_V]

@Azrael Alright, I will keep going

Thanks for all the assistance I really appreciate it.

[Haumea]

I've had that too, and been told by people in the know that it's a consequence of exposure to non-duality frequencies.  You're adjusting to a rise in consciousness.

Lightheadedness, weird sensations in the head, etc.  I thought it was something physical at first.

Edited August 15, 2017 by Haumea

[WaterfallMachine]

Yeah, I experienced something similar. I felt like I could pass out and threw up my dinner. I experienced panic, misery, anger, terror and so on. But after that, my experiences while not perfect become richer than ever before. I 100% don't regret it.

Maybe you could benefit from what others posted when I asked for help before. I was so depressed I got suicidal there. Yep. Not very fun.