Help To Begin Self-actualization

[caelanb]

Hello, does anyone have any advice for me to start self-actualization, apart from consciously trying to minimize my life, by trying to avoid as much as possible and not think about things like having fun, quick pleasures, hanging out with people, entertainment and being busy (a few things on Leo's 'biggest Traps of this work' page and what I would normally do subconsciously because it's the summer now and I am a high school graduate, however, I now see that it would take me no where in personal growth). To minimize, I now spend most of my time practicing the focus component of mindfulness while I am eating food by trying to focus on the texture of food, not the taste, (however It's very tough) and not think about all the other things I could do which could use up my time. Apart from that, I do daily meditation, exercise and go to appointments for school stuff. I'm trying to take full responsibility for my life and plan for the future, however, this has not really worked, because the only thing for me in the future is school, some other appointments, and trying to find out how I'm going to minimize my life. I don't know where this is taking me in my self-actualization because and I don't know if this is where someone should start. It is somewhat boring, though I guess that is normal. Does this pair up with anyone else as well? Thank you.

[aurum]

3 hours ago, caelanb said:

consciously trying to minimize my life, by trying to avoid as much as possible and not think about things like having fun, quick pleasures, hanging out with people, entertainment and being busy (a few things on Leo's 'biggest Traps of this work' page and what I would normally do subconsciously because it's the summer now and I am a high school graduate, however, I now see that it would take me no where in personal growth).

First rule of studying self-actualization: you have to figure out what advice to listen to and what to ignore.

If you're a high school graduate, I would not be prioritizing things like "minimize my life". That's advice for people who are already successful in the world but who have picked up extreme work / lifestyle habits in order to get to that point. That's not you. You should be hustling to figure out your life purpose.

As far as fun, you need to start making a distinction between healthy fun and unhealthy fun. Otherwise you're just going to be a miserable, boring dude.

Healthy fun might be things like yoga, hiking, working on your life purpose, creating art, socializing with good friends, swimming, etc. Unhealthy fun is more like drugs, TV and other time wasting bullshit.

[Anirban657]

The vision. You have to habe a vision.

My best advice for you is to take the life purpose course and finding your life purpose. Start getting experience. Start raising your consciousness.

[Joseph Maynor]

Watch these two videos:

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 12, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Erlend K]

Doing things you enjoy doing together with people you enjoy spending time with is a fundamental part of a life well lived. At your age your brain is not fully developed yet, you are just transitioning from having a child brain to having an adult brain. At that stage we have very limited insight into our own personal bullshit (ego defence mechanisms, biases, unconcious liferules etc). As long as you keep a healthy lifestyle and keep learning and exploring you are on the right track. Planning your life in detail or choosing some "life purpose", just becourse someone said you ought to is counterproductive at your age.  

I think the most important growth you can do at your age is developing a pro-social personality. This includes kindness, generosity, cooperation, compassion etc. This is one of the rare skills that nearly all great sages and wisdom traditions in history have advocated, and modern positive psychological research confirms that these are one of the main ingredients of a happy life. These skills are harder to cultivate the older you get. 

Edited August 12, 2017 by Erlend K

[WaterfallMachine]

A big part of starting out is being aware of what you have to work on in the first place.

Out of all the different bloggers I've seen, Scott Jeffrey puts out the steps to self awareness the most comprehensively and clearly to me.

Quote

In Ancient Greece, at the front courtyard at Delphi, the former shrine to the oracle Pythia, there was an inscription:

γνῶθι σεαυτόν

It translates to “know thyself,” a famous aphorism often attributed to Socrates or Plato.

What does it mean to know oneself?

At first glance, we might discount this phrase as rhetoric. Sure, I know myself, you might lament. I know who I am.

On closer examination, however, we can’t be so certain.

Do we know why we behave the way we do?

What drives our decisions? How do we really feel about ourselves and the people in our lives?

How do we really feel about ourselves and the people in our lives?

As Ralph Ellison said, “When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.”

Scott Jeffrey

See https://scottjeffrey.com/self-awareness-activities-exercises/ for more.

[caelanb]

Thank you very much everyone. I have noticed that in my life, it is a lot of the ideas society and people have put into it put into our heads that we fall pray to because they are put into our subconscious. These ideas, habits and such I have developed from seeing it in other people and I think are negative ones, that I have to break, such as; my automatic subconscious desire for the doing and having of bigger better, louder stimulation (I think this is society influences such; playing video games, listening to music like at concerts, watching TV, delicious massive meals. These things are opposite of a minimalist lifestyle. However, I think a good focus for me would be to maintaining a healthy but simple lifestyle, reprogram my subconscious mind to stay away from unhealthy stimulation and change the way I think about fun (to being things that calm the mind, not stimulate it), as well as to start working on my life purpose.