Scared Of Enlightenment

[bernieboy20]

Hello,

 About a year ago I read Jed Mckennas first book in the series. Before I read it I was enthusiastic but also misguided about enlightenment. As I read through the book it really fucked with my paradigm of life to the point that when I finished it I really just wanted to forget I ever read it. The effect it had on my was destabilizing and very uncomfortable and reality felt almost dream like. 

 I've gone back and read the book recently. Although it does interest me, I'm not actively pursuing enlightenment. It still makes me uncomfortable, but less so. Lately I've been having reoccurring dreams that I'm concerned about. The first dream that I've been having for a while is of a nuclear bomb exploding on the horizon and the feeling of dread associated with it. Although I have speculations, I'm not certain what the meaning behind this dream is, but I know its significant. The second part is more difficult to explain, but its sort of like my consciousness is shifting and I'm undergoing enlightenment (obviously I'm not but its kind of like my brain acting out how it imagines it.) 

In summary, enlightenment scares me and I feel myself clinging onto ego.

Can anyone else relate to these feelings or shed insight on what I'm experiencing? Are there any resources people can share that will help me to see enlightenment in a more positive light?

Edited February 19, 2016 by bernieboy20

[Ayla]

@bernieboy20

I'm hoping this might help you, so I'll let it flow how it comes.  

Enlightenment is just a word. A concept. Books are yet, another concoction of words - concepts. 

Forget about all that. Forget about the dream. It means nothing at all. (your mind is just trying to make sense of something it cannot understand). 

Behind all this, there's an urge, isn't it? Something is calling you somewhere. Forget about the somewhere and inquire into that something calling. 

Who is that one? There's already a lot of talk on this forum abut the inquiry (do a search). 

I personally resonate a lot with Mooji's pointings that you can lookup on youtube. 

 

[jjer94]

Jed's books will do that to ya. They scared the bajeezus out of me after I read the entire trilogy. 

Keep in mind that this is one perspective of the path to enlightenment. It's not the only way. Sure, you'll deal with some pain and suffering on the journey, but it doesn't have to be so dramatic where you become a raving lunatic holed up in a cabin with a golden retriever to prevent you from killing yourself... Although that may well be a possibility. 

In his books, Jed is pretty narrow-minded, but you may not see that because of how convincing and eloquent his writing is. He shuns meditation and consciousness work and basically says the only way to enlightenment is to become like Captain Ahab....And yet, countless others claimed to have become enlightened through meditation and consciousness work. 

Enlightenment is a pathless path. You don't have to do anything in particular. There are certain techniques that may help accelerate the process such as contemplation and Spiritual Autolysis, but those aren't the only ways. In fact, Jed McKenna today has mellowed out, saying that trying to destroy illusion as suggested in his books is futile, and instead you ought to learn to see through your illusions. Yes, enlightenment work is essentially 'killing' who you think you are bit by bit. But you don't have to nuke your whole life in one whole sweep to get to the end.

Who you think you are is illusion. Your beliefs about what reality is are illusion. How do you destroy something that appears to exist but doesn't actually? By seeing through it; by seeing that it doesn't exist. You don't necessarily have to slit your wrists and cut ties with everyone to do that; seems a bit unnecessary, don't you think?