The Universe

Spiritual Awakening

45 posts in this topic

19 minutes ago, Max_V said:

@Shin But how will I know that I won't really die in the process?

 It feels very real, like my whole system is telling me to stop

Is there any way that I could really collapse during a meditation?

 

It's only your fake sense of self that will die,
It will feel real but in the end nothing's gonna die.
You can't die !

See this as an extreme version of fear, when you have so much fear to do something, it's the same process, fear is there because you think you will die, it's a misconception of your mind.

@Max_V Yeah it's ok, but just posting here will be enough, it's even better because more people can answer :)

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Shin Is it okay if I can keep you updated on how this goes?

I need someone to talk to about this. I need someone to keep me motivated when I'm at my lowest

 

Edit: Alright, I will post updates here aswell :)

It's quite hard when your mind is trying to trick you this bad, good to have people around that can keep you in line

Edited by Max_V

In the depths of winter,
I finally learned that within me 
there lay an invincible summer.

- Albert Camus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@egoeimai Yes that's true, motivation should come out of myself. But when it's really getting to me like right now, it's nice to have some people to talk to :) 

Edited by Max_V

In the depths of winter,
I finally learned that within me 
there lay an invincible summer.

- Albert Camus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
53 minutes ago, Max_V said:

@egoeimai Yes that's true, motivation should come out of myself. But when it's really getting to me like right now, it's nice to have some people to talk to :) 

Have you tried giving in to that fear? Normally this would be an attempt to give in, but actually a very sneaky way to get rid of it (ego playing tricks). When you're in such a state: try to completely embrace it as if you have to live with this state for the rest of your life. It's not about toleration. But dropping desires and kind of loving this nasty fear. This will make you much more present. Your mind won't be in a fictional future waiting for the body to arrive fearless. Body and mind need to align.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Guys you woke me up.. yeah.. the airplane image has gotten into my dream too.. but nothing like described here.. and I felt the deep sorrow too.. I first thought it was my sorrow, then I was directed to here..

Well.. that's ok.. everybody please sleep now.. I want to sleep right know.. I'll decode this probably in couple of days or a week or so..

I love you all.. this is a false alarm.. please don't wake me up in unnecessary cases... :) ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm frustrated with determination sitting. About between 1-2 weeks in and it looks like I'm getting worse than what it was like when I started this. I can't do a minute without moving. 

I tend to fidget a lot. And I've realized later in life that I don't just fidget because of excess energy — I do it because my senses can be too sensitive. Focusing on a repetive sensory experience like a certain way of fidgeting is a lot more calming than having to focus on erratic noises like crowds or really bright lights. 

Sometimes I can do it better — usually at the weekends where the environment is quiet and familiar in my home. But after a tiring day full of stuff to do in a crowded environment— when going home, I have to fidget to stay calm. Or I'll literally be panicking. 

I wonder if this is even possible like this after all? Maybe I'd have to move to another meditation.

Edited by WaterfallMachine

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” 
― Socrates

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Dodo said:

By doing nothing, my finances will not take care of themselves. I am making my mother sad. She is wrapped up in story and pulling me with her. Still, Am I supposed to make my mother sad? 

This doesn't feel spiritual at all. I feel like a cold and incapable fool that is "wasting his life" to find a non existing truth.

I will pray... 

Read the book of Adyashanti called "the end of your world" and listen to this book on youtube. He might help you to get read of this life circonstance. I'll personnaly say ( but this is just m'y opinion ) that to be free of this need to simply have to let it go, because After all is this problem real or unreal ? ( The situation is but the problem isn't. Your mind create this problem to manipulate yourself to control yourself. Face this problem internally ).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I suffer from anxiety attacks and i...CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE ! I WANT TO LIGHT MY FUCKING HOUSE ON FIRE ! what to do...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Dodo said:

By doing nothing, my finances will not take care of themselves. I am making my mother sad. She is wrapped up in story and pulling me with her. Still, Am I supposed to make my mother sad? 

This doesn't feel spiritual at all. I feel like a cold and incapable fool that is "wasting his life" to find a non existing truth.

I will pray... 

Finally glad that you're waking up.. 

Take a Break from the spirituality rabbit hole. 


  1. Only ONE path is true. Rest is noise
  2. God is beauty, rest is Ugly 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Shin

The weirdest thing ever just happened. I got insight.

I am dealing with this much fear because something in me doesn't want to progress in spirituality. 

There is a deep rooted belief in me that I'm the body. It cannot be that who I really am is not a body. That means my entire paradigm of human existence is wrong. That just completely fks with all my ideas and beliefs. It is really hard to let it go.

 For a second during my meditation it was as if bodily sensations weren't really mine. I was just watching.

It scared the absolute shit out of me, my body is still shaking.


In the depths of winter,
I finally learned that within me 
there lay an invincible summer.

- Albert Camus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 minutes ago, Max_V said:

@Shin

The weirdest thing ever just happened. I got insight.

I am dealing with this much fear because something in me doesn't want to progress in spirituality. 

There is a deep rooted belief in me that I'm the body. It cannot be that who I really am is not a body. That means my entire paradigm of human existence is wrong. That just completely fks with all my ideas and beliefs. It is really hard to let it go.

 For a second during my meditation it was as if bodily sensations weren't really mine. I was just watching.

It scared the absolute shit out of me, my body is still shaking.

 

 

Now, take of your shit, and observe your heartbeat when you're deep into your in self inquiry.

Sensation guaranteed !

 

 

tumblr_ntwtyfwsIe1uf3rxio1_500.gif

 

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Shin That'd actually make for something very interesting. One of my biggest fears is my heart beating fast during meditation.

Observing it during self inquiry will be a challenge

Edited by Max_V

In the depths of winter,
I finally learned that within me 
there lay an invincible summer.

- Albert Camus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/10/2017 at 3:25 AM, Max_V said:

Tried to meditate this morning, I felt horrible. It litteraly felt as if I was going to die. 

My heart beating fast, anxiety rushing through my body.

I just don't know what to do anymore, and I'm quite over it. All this fear and stress, why can't everything just be in it's place and peaceful?

Everytime I feel the quality of my consciousness raising, there is always my mind that tries to deny and disown. It feels quite horrible.

Once every 2 months, I feel like I'm unsafe, like death could be approaching every minute

@Max_V how are you now?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/10/2017 at 3:47 AM, Dodo said:

Welp I dreamt this night scenarios of lurking death.. Planes crashing from the skies. I heard people scream and point that one was coming towards us. I couldn't see it, but ran for my life with the rest. Ended up sitting in some sort of circular bench with roof (don't know the term in English), and we had to hold tight, as impact of the plane crashing almost swept us away.

Later on I was in a plane and the pilot went to get my stuff leaving the airplane to fly by itself. 

I thought there was autopilot, but in the end we ended up in the underground somehow. ?

Also visited a place which was very familiar somehow... I cannot even explain. I cried at how familiar it is. Interesting dreams. Prepping me for the big D.

@Dodo how are you feeling now?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Sevi I still feel kind of weird, but I feel like the phase I was talking about is almost over.

I feel like my mind is clearer and it is easier to remain mindful.

So all in all, right now I'm doing pretty good!

My inner state is a rollercoaster atm though, so tomorrow I could feel different :D 

Thanks for asking though, that's very sweet of you.


In the depths of winter,
I finally learned that within me 
there lay an invincible summer.

- Albert Camus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish I was in hell like some of you.

I'm in equanimity for so long now that I start to doubt I'm even progressing anymore.

Probably have to do a dark room retreat, lots of meditation aren't doing shit.

@Sevi My avatar explain it pretty cleary, HMMMMMM !

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Max_V there is this movie called 'nine' directed by Rob Marshall. It'll seem not related to your stuff but cope with it:

It's about an Italian film director facing a life crisis, feels like the most anxious ever, dying.. and his women in his life: his wife, mistress, mother, muse, and the prostitute who is related to his first sexual awakenings.

We see him struggling with his career, and there is this chaotic crowd in the film. Has an heart attack-ish situation when he is meeting his mistress.

Mother says him: 'remember Guido, I'm the only one who's gonna love you this much', somewhere between the lines we see it.

He wants to love and be loyal  to his wife but if he does so that's a betrayal to his mother in his mind without him realising it, the mother is his deep coded survival mechanism, the moment he goes on to the way to follow the love he has, he starts to not to breath well.

The mistress is the continuation of the prostitute goddess: connected to his creativity in his work, the moment he goes towards that way the contradiction arises stronger. Anxiety hits hard.

Long story short, when you are about to open your system up to a new embodiment of deep matters which matter for you, leaving the old behind not knowing if 'they or that' ever gonna take you back or be okay with your new state; and of course not knowing the new pull will really gonna embrace you the way you long for, is a clear shock for a living mechanism.

Being very understanding and compassionate to yourself in such cases, putting your attention on your already 'in alarmed mode-inner-self ' rather than to plan, calculate, analyze the outer conditions, can create an easier, smoother and steady transition within you, rather than having little shocks every other month..

 

Edited by Sevi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
33 minutes ago, Shin said:

I wish I was in hell like some of you.

I'm in equanimity for so long now that I start to doubt I'm even progressing anymore.

Probably have to do a dark room retreat, lots of meditation aren't doing shit.

Darling what about 'not' asking for trouble when it's not necessary?

By the way:) I loved your picture:) I don't know why:p

@Shin

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/10/2017 at 11:26 AM, WaterfallMachine said:

I'm frustrated with determination sitting. About between 1-2 weeks in and it looks like I'm getting worse than what it was like when I started this. I can't do a minute without moving. 

I tend to fidget a lot. And I've realized later in life that I don't just fidget because of excess energy — I do it because my senses can be too sensitive. Focusing on a repetive sensory experience like a certain way of fidgeting is a lot more calming than having to focus on erratic noises like crowds or really bright lights. 

Sometimes I can do it better — usually at the weekends where the environment is quiet and familiar in my home. But after a tiring day full of stuff to do in a crowded environment— when going home, I have to fidget to stay calm. Or I'll literally be panicking. 

I wonder if this is even possible like this after all? Maybe I'd have to move to another meditation.

Allow the panic, that's when breakthroughs happen, that's when you can see all the fear and see it for the illusion it is, it's not uncommon for people to awaken that way.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now