Spiritual Awakening

[The Universe]

For anyone who struggles with their spiritual awakening in any kind of way, you can share it and find solutions right there. 

[Dodo]

How do I get past the need to survive?  Who is the one that wants to survive?  What is all the struggle of the one that wants to survive for? Should I just lay down and die, since I'm already dead? Who is there to give effort?

This bodymind is extremely flawed. This bodymind does not really fit with society. This bodymind is placed between a rock and a hard place. Enlightenment is the only option and is a matter of urgency for this bodymind. This bodymind doesn't have any idea what awakening is and why it is called spiritual. 

Self-enquiry is my favourite thing... I am mad? mu 

 

[Max_V]

I am very afraid of death. Have not yet experienced an insight on how what I really am never dies. 

All I need to do to move forward is face this fear right?

[The Universe]

1 hour ago, Dodo said:

How do I get past the need to survive?  Who is the one that wants to survive?  What is all the struggle of the one that wants to survive for? Should I just lay down and die, since I'm already dead? Who is there to give effort?

This bodymind is extremely flawed. This bodymind does not really fit with society. This bodymind is placed between a rock and a hard place. Enlightenment is the only option and is a matter of urgency for this bodymind. This bodymind doesn't have any idea what awakening is and why it is called spiritual. 

Self-enquiry is my favourite thing... I am mad? mu 

 

That was "my" problem too. Maybe you need to talk to someone about your struggle to find out the solution. I know that the solution for your problem is to do N O T H I N G and allow truth/reality/nothingness to act on you and while it does this, sit and do N O T H I N G and stop wraping your mind around what you gotta' do. The truth isn't somewhere, it is there your only solution is to surrender to it. I have done that and i feel more peaceful already.  

[The Universe]

19 minutes ago, Max_V said:

I am very afraid of death. Have not yet experienced an insight on how what I really am never dies. 

All I need to do to move forward is face this fear right?

Surrender to this feeling. Let it conquer you and while it does that do N O T H I N G. I promise you that the death of you will happen if you do that.

[Nahm]

@Dodo There is no need to survive. We can all stop any time. Does that help the realization that you want to survive? I hope it grows into more of what you want. The body mind is perfect. There are no flaws. It works so perfectly, you can even hold the belief that it is flawed. Pretty impressive. 

 

@Max_V You are what never dies right now. Takes a lot of the practices, over a long expansion, to let it all go, so that all you are left with is the awareness, that you are right now. Think less, expand your awareness more. We can think, or be aware. One or the other at a time. Surrender every thought, every web of thoughts and concepts, let go of your preferences, your spacial recognition, gravity, space time...let them all go and then you can see how they were only relative to you the whole "time".   It's like riding a bike; the need to pay attention to where you're going - by default, puts you into awareness mode, and thus no thinking. That's why it feels fun. When it's fun, thinking isn't even a thought.

 

 

 

[Ananta]

2 hours ago, Dodo said:

How do I get past the need to survive?  Who is the one that wants to survive?  What is all the struggle of the one that wants to survive for? Should I just lay down and die, since I'm already dead? Who is there to give effort?

You currently are associated with the body/mind/sense organism. So, you think that it is you. This illusion is what needs to be seen through. Its the mind that is asking the questions above, as it wants to understand  (that's reasonable), but when it starts asking should I just lay down and die. Be cautious. Ego can get a bit depressed when hearing some insights people say that it doesn't quite understand yet. 

 

3 hours ago, Dodo said:

This bodymind is extremely flawed. This bodymind does not really fit with society. This bodymind is placed between a rock and a hard place. Enlightenment is the only option and is a matter of urgency for this bodymind.

Why is enlightenment a matter of urgency for you? Are you suffering? Are you suicidal? 

 

3 hours ago, Dodo said:

This bodymind doesn't have any idea what awakening is and why it is called spiritual. 

It's awakening "from" the body/mind, seeing it "ultimately" is an illusion (Mithya). Illusion feels very real, it has an "apparent" existence. When most believe its absolutely real, they are "asleep".

 The opposite term "awakening" is used for when one has insights/apprehends the great illusion is ultimately false. This understanding, clear seeing or whatever you want to call it, may only last a few secs to minutes in the beginning, then hours to days, etc. thats why it's called an awakening. It happens over time generally speaking do to the mind's mental tendencies to fall back into its routine patterns. 

It's spiritual, because it fits no other known category.

[Ananta]

 

2 hours ago, Max_V said:

I am very afraid of death. Have not yet experienced an insight on how what I really am never dies. 

It's the ego (I-thought), that is a special kind of thought, because it thinks it's real, that is the one afraid of death.

In reality the body/mind is constantly changing (Inner- new thoughts/feelings, outer- cellular changes, wrinkles, etc), it could be said it's continuously dying and being reborn. Every night in deep sleep the ego and body, completely disappear. When you reawaken it's like being reborn. Extend that to afterlife realms, other life forms, reincarnation, ect. It all happens (if it exists) within awareness itself, the background, which permeates everything.

Btw, what you really are can not be negated in Self inquiry, therefore it's the background/substratum and can't be negated with the death of the body/mind. 

Hope this helps a tad.

[Viking]

Im so lost i dont understand even what to do anymore. ive read leo's guide a shitton of times and watched his videos and still, im getting anxious to start my self inquiry because I am simply too confused to know what to do. im just asking myself who am I, I get that feeling of "i am that" I understand its not me because its an experience and this just goes on a loop that has no advance. ive shortened my practice from 1hr to now 20-30 minutes  because Im simply feeling im doing something wrong and I have to look for a clearer way to do the self inquiry while trying not to give up on the practice. 

[Dodo]

6 hours ago, The Universe said:

That was "my" problem too. Maybe you need to talk to someone about your struggle to find out the solution. I know that the solution for your problem is to do N O T H I N G and allow truth/reality/nothingness to act on you and while it does this, sit and do N O T H I N G and stop wraping your mind around what you gotta' do. The truth isn't somewhere, it is there your only solution is to surrender to it. I have done that and i feel more peaceful already.  

By doing nothing, my finances will not take care of themselves. I am making my mother sad. She is wrapped up in story and pulling me with her. Still, Am I supposed to make my mother sad? 

This doesn't feel spiritual at all. I feel like a cold and incapable fool that is "wasting his life" to find a non existing truth.

I will pray... 

Edited August 10, 2017 by Dodo

[Truth Seekah]

3 hours ago, Ilya said:

Im so lost i dont understand even what to do anymore. ive read leo's guide a shitton of times and watched his videos and still, im getting anxious to start my self inquiry because I am simply too confused to know what to do. im just asking myself who am I, I get that feeling of "i am that" I understand its not me because its an experience and this just goes on a loop that has no advance. ive shortened my practice from 1hr to now 20-30 minutes  because Im simply feeling im doing something wrong and I have to look for a clearer way to do the self inquiry while trying not to give up on the practice. 

 

Edited August 10, 2017 by Truth Seekah

[WelcometoReality]

2 hours ago, Ilya said:

Im so lost i dont understand even what to do anymore. ive read leo's guide a shitton of times and watched his videos and still, im getting anxious to start my self inquiry because I am simply too confused to know what to do. im just asking myself who am I, I get that feeling of "i am that" I understand its not me because its an experience and this just goes on a loop that has no advance. ive shortened my practice from 1hr to now 20-30 minutes  because Im simply feeling im doing something wrong and I have to look for a clearer way to do the self inquiry while trying not to give up on the practice. 

Confusion is good because it shows that you are open for truth. Embrace the confusion instead of searching for answers because what is it that wants to know? Just let the fear of not knowing and the confusion be, they are not problems you need to fix.

[Sevi]

1 hour ago, Dodo said:

By doing nothing, my finances will not take care of themselves. I am making my mother sad. She is wrapped up in story and pulling me with her. Still, Am I supposed to make my mother sad? 

This doesn't feel spiritual at all. I feel like a cold and incapable fool that is "wasting his life" to find a non existing truth.

I will pray... 

She is afraid, feels so lonely and lost, holds on to you. You are happy to help but feeling scared to get lost because of her; to be lost with her. But, someone holds you:) you are not going anywhere;) so, no one is getting lost, no one is getting down:)

Just put your finances in order, and don't get spiritual. There is no need to.

You are loved and deeply appreciated. You are held so strongly. There is no need to worry.

@Dodo

Edited August 10, 2017 by Sevi

[pluto]

You must unlearn everything you have ever been taught, and learn again

[Max_V]

@Nahm Tried to meditate this morning, I felt horrible. It litteraly felt as if I was going to die. 

My heart beating fast, anxiety rushing through my body.

I just don't know what to do anymore, and I'm quite over it. All this fear and stress, why can't everything just be in it's place and peaceful?

Everytime I feel the quality of my consciousness raising, there is always my mind that tries to deny and disown. It feels quite horrible.

Once every 2 months, I feel like I'm unsafe, like death could be approaching every minute

[Shin]

10 minutes ago, Max_V said:

@Nahm Tried to meditate this morning, I felt horrible. It litteraly felt as if I was going to die. 

My heart beating fast, anxiety rushing through my body.

I just don't know what to do anymore, and I'm quite over it. All this fear and stress, why can't everything just be in it's place and peaceful?

Everytime I feel the quality of my consciousness raising, there is always my mind that tries to deny and disown. It feels quite horrible.

Once every 2 months, I feel like I'm unsafe, like death could be approaching every minute

What are you complaining about, that means you're on the right track

[Max_V]

@Shin Fk, then this path sure has a weird way of showing me im on the right track haha

The anxiety feels so overwhelming though, will it do any harm if I shorten my meditation time for 3 days? I just can't sit long with this, it hurts too much for me to handle.

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, Max_V said:

@Shin Fk, then this path sure has a weird way of showing me im on the right track haha

The anxiety feels so overwhelming though, will it do any harm if I shorten my meditation time for 3 days? I just can't sit long with this, it hurts too much for me to handle.

No, you should meditate even more, force yourself to go beyond the fear and pain.

Why do you think your mind wants to back off now ?

It's because it sense his time is almost over.

Edited August 10, 2017 by Shin

[Max_V]

@Shin But how will I know that I won't really die in the process?

 It feels very real, like my whole system is telling me to stop

Is there any way that I could really collapse during a meditation?

[Dodo]

Welp I dreamt this night scenarios of lurking death.. Planes crashing from the skies. I heard people scream and point that one was coming towards us. I couldn't see it, but ran for my life with the rest. Ended up sitting in some sort of circular bench with roof (don't know the term in English), and we had to hold tight, as impact of the plane crashing almost swept us away.

Later on I was in a plane and the pilot went to get my stuff leaving the airplane to fly by itself. 

I thought there was autopilot, but in the end we ended up in the underground somehow. ?

Also visited a place which was very familiar somehow... I cannot even explain. I cried at how familiar it is. Interesting dreams. Prepping me for the big D.