Sex And Presence

[egoless]

As I am flirting with a girl it becomes very hard to be present. My mind always "races" in the future of possibilities with her. How can we stay present when interacting with girls we are attracted to? Also how sexual life and Enlightenment path are compatible with each other - should you choose one?

Edited August 8, 2017 by egoless

[Echoes]

@egoless accept the future-thoughts and recognize them as part of presence

[Loreena]

Nothing ever goes as planned. Chill. 

[egoless]

16 minutes ago, Echoes said:

@egoless accept the future-thoughts and recognize them as part of presence

Yes but it feels like I am loosing the power of NOW when my mind begins to wonder in the future.

@Loreena exactly, but I find it yet difficult to make clear distinction between planning the Future goals which is normal and completely surrendering to the "Future" and becoming slave of it with my thoughts..

[Echoes]

@egoless I think there is no magic solution to this. Our compulsive thinking in time has become so habitual that we lose ourselves constantly in it. The only solution seems to be steady mindfulness practice

[egoless]

So how does sexual life and Enlightenment journey go together? Does one slow down the other?

[ajasatya]

@egoless deep eye contact

[egoless]

8 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

@egoless deep eye contact

What are you referring to?

[ajasatya]

8 minutes ago, egoless said:

What are you referring to?

make deep eye contact with her. both of you'll be so present that it can be a little scary. but if you do so, there will be no rushing thoughts arising.

i put a lot of effort to get used to it. make deep eye contact and scan your body. relax shoulders, face muscles, abdomen, hips, arms and legs.

it goes so deep that it can feel like samadhi.

that's how i met my future wife and a lot of women before her.

Edited August 8, 2017 by ajasatya

[egoless]

10 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

make deep eye contact with her. both of you'll be so present that it can be a little scary. but if you do so, there will be no rushing thoughts arising.

i put a lot of effort to get used to it. make deep eye contact and scan your body. relax shoulders, face muscles, abdomen, hips, arms and legs.

it goes so deep that it can feel like samadhi.

that's how i met my future wife and a lot of women before her.

Good advice man! But it's hard to practice. I am huge introvert and most girls are too extraverted. All they want is partying, having fun and "demand" same from you. And too much partying is so draining for me sometimes. Unfortunately I have not met lot of girls who are interested in intellectual and deep conversations  

[ajasatya]

@egoless they are rare and so are we. do you think that interesting girls are in a better situation than we are?

stop thinking too little of you. this is straightforward bullshit. i am an introverted too. the difference between us related to this aspect is the fact that i did throw myself in new scenarios. i didn't just stay still and cry about the amount of uninteresting girls out there and how uninteresting they are. i went to yoga events, cookery events, religious events, spiritual conferences, retreats, naturalist events, holistic events, ayahuasca events. dude, there's a whole universe full of interesting human beings.

and even after finding a woman to live with, i still do those things. i didn't do it to find a girl. i am expanding my life. getting to know interesting women wasn't even that great compared to the wholeness of life that i experienced and still experience.

grow bigger. listen to thousands of people.

[egoless]

@ajasatya I so much agree with you. That's what I'm trying to do. I decided to do my Master's degree abroad. I got very closed within myself in my home town. I made some "enemies" because I was very different and many people in some social circles misunderstood me. Now I try to experience differenc culture and broaden my global awareness. I need to break free from some cultural stereotypes.

[ajasatya]

1 hour ago, egoless said:

@ajasatya I so much agree with you. That's what I'm trying to do. I decided to do my Master's degree abroad. I got very closed within myself in my home town. I made some "enemies" because I was very different and many people in some social circles misunderstood me. Now I try to experience differenc culture and broaden my global awareness. I need to break free from some cultural stereotypes.

@egoless

@Shin, do you look like shia labeouf in real life?

[Max_V]

@egoless Look up tantra. It is a way of integrating sex into spiritual practice.

Transforming sexual energy into spiritual energy.

[Shin]

2 hours ago, ajasatya said:

 

@Shin, do you look like shia labeouf in real life?

No, but I look like 18 while I'm actually 28.

 

[Spiral]

You get used to it after a while if you hang with lots of attractive girls all the time, the opposite of the mermaid effect I suppose.

[YaNanNallari]

Don't you think the current moment is always the most beautiful and most meaningful? Thoughts in my mind at least couldn't compare to that. If you get excited that's totally fine, but you can simply remind yourself to stay present. Maybe think of it as an exercise. I'd approach the situation more from the present and not worrying about achieving something with her. If I were to want something it'd come to me naturally anyway. (Although I might have some resistance, but that can be dealt with)