I Feel So Hopeless About My Sex/dating/love Life

[Hardkill]

Hi everyone, I am brand new to this forum and this is my first post ever. I've watched a lot of Leo's vids on Youtube on making friends, sex, attraction, love, mindfulness, meditation, goals, success, etc. I am 29 and a half years old and I've been struggling with improving my sex and dating life for almost 3 years. I've cold and warm approached hundreds of women in real life and tried many different kinds of online dating apps including OKC, POF, Tinder, Bumble, Happn, Match.com, Jdate, etc. I lost my virginity when I was 27 years and 9 months old and have never had a girlfriend in my entire life. Also, I've had sex with a total of 4 girls, but I've only had sex for a total of 7 times in my entire life (only two of the times where I engaged in full genitalia intercourse). I've read up and tried various methods of pickup from the PUA community including RSD, Kezia Noble, Hayley Quinn, Gambler's methods, 60 years of challenge, GoodLookingLoser, etc. and they all gave me limited results overall. I've tried going to meetup groups, social circles, bar, clubs, parks, fairs, streets, malls, college campuses, social circle, etc. Girls in middle school, high school, and somewhat in college used to tell me how attractive or cute I looked, but after college was when I realized how extremely difficult if not impossible it is for me to get a girl I want. The furthest I've ever gotten with a girl was through a 6th date over a 4-5 month period (I though I was close to making a friends with benefits relationship with her, but she stopped wanted to see again after our 6th date. I've done more work than most guys have, but still suck with women. Therefore, I fear that I may never find a girl I want who will be willing to be in a solid friends with benefits relationship with me or be my girlfriend. 

[SLICKHAWK]

Desire an emotion are of the ego. Only let go do not fear that lonly temptation for lust or that is the lower self.

Find in you your higher self you are more with greater purpose and a path only one will walk in.. This is special. Not a fantasy you have been lead to acquire and belive in. 

[Shin]

• Find your life purpose
• Work on your funnyness
• Practice self-love
• Do a lot of meditation
• Practice awareness of your thoughts all the time

 

At some point you won't give a shit about girls or sex.

[Hardkill]

Many pickup artists have said that having an attractive lifestyle will make u attractive to women. However, I've been doing serious weight training/powerlifting for over 3 and half years and have a 2nd degree black belt in a martial art that I've been practicing for over 10 years. Also, I've been doing meetup groups and recently joined a running training club. Also, I graduated from UCLA for my undergrad degree and am currently in grad school for a healthcare profession. How many more activities or things do I need to do to have enough of an attractive lifestyle? Or does having an "attractive lifestyle" not really do anything for getting the women u want? I feel like this was such a BS concept that these PUA chuckleheads came up with to gain publicity, views, and money from the public. 

 

I've been trying to meditate and working on my humor, but it's still so hard to live my life. Even if I keep practicing these methods, I feel like I'll be a social loser forever. I am 5'9" 163 lbs. and people have always told me that I look like male celebrities like Ashton Kutcher or Ian Somerholder, but it doesn't matter because sadly women aren't nearly as visual as men are. Everyday, it feels like a tremendous burden for me to carry and I try to distract myself from this pain by keeping myself busy by being very physically active, reading stuff, watching TV, being with my parents or my dog, and meditating, doing my work at my job, etc. but I still live with this pain of uncertainty of my future, utter dejection from others, depression, and immense discouragement from interacting with girls or even people. I wonder why Leo never made a video on what to do when u feel this disheartened from approaching girls, dating, sex, and romance. Ive tried analyzing what I am doing wrong in my interactions, but I can't figure out what I am doing wrong. It feels so complicated to the point of becoming an impossible puzzle to solve and I can't even just let go of it. I tried taking a break from pickup for 4-5 months, but it still has been devouring my mind. This really has ruined my concentration and productivity on my everyday tasks. Sometimes  I just want to end my life to end all of this pain. Not even my therapists and medical psychiatrist have been able to help me let go of this issue. I don't know what to do anymore to end this suffering.?

Edited August 8, 2017 by Hardkill

[ajasatya]

@Hardkill you still need to go through a LOT of suffering until you decide to stop using people.

stop being a vulture. stop being a vampire.

meditate more. reach your deepest pain.

[Hardkill]

I am not trying to use anyone.

I was hoping that someone like Leo would give me some valuable solution or insight on what to do besides meditation to encourage me to not give up any hope about one day having a happy sex, dating, love life if u put in the hard work like I have with it. Maybe, I don't have the genetic talent for learning seduction or even becoming relationship material for any girl. Is there any hope for me?

Edited August 8, 2017 by Hardkill

[ajasatya]

@Hardkill your problem is very typical and i've been there. ask yourself again about trying to use others. you want to meet girls just to get laid and because of that, you suffer greatly.

if you want to heal yourself, then be truly interested about the other person. what does she like? what are her strange habits? what kind of suffering does she go through? why does she turn her eyes to the right before smiling? how did she get that small scar near the ear? what's she scared of?

open your heart to childlike curiosity.

[Hardkill]

The thing is that a few years ago, not only did I watch all of Corey Wayne vids and read his book thoroughly over 15 times, but also I was very non-needy around others to point where I didn't really care about finding a girlfriend or having sex ever. In fact, I did mindfulness practice with my therapist for over a year. I ultimately became very indifferent to virtually everything and everyone around me. So I then decided to cold approach about a hundred girls because I figured "I've reached a level of detachment to the point where it doesn't matter if I get rejected or things don't go according to the way I want. I also was quite fun to be around to and people liked me. However, it never got me laid and I was still a virgin who still never had a girlfriend before. That's when I realized that I am not good enough for the girls I want and worked so damn hard on the pickup stuff for a few years. So, obviously becoming "one" with the world and enjoying the present moment didn't work to attract the girls I wanted. My therapist told me that once I become a healthcare professional (which is what I've been currently studying for) then I'll be a more attractive candidate for women. However, I am skeptical of that idea because guys who are good with women have mentioned how having a decent paying career is irrelevant in attracting women. I wonder what someone like Leo would recommend I do.

Edited August 8, 2017 by Hardkill

[Truth]

20 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

 My therapist told me that once I become a healthcare professional (which is what I've been currently studying for) then I'll be a more attractive candidate for women. However, I am skeptical of that idea because guys who are good with women have mentioned how having a decent paying career is irrelevant in attracting women. I wonder what someone like Leo would recommend I do.

 

What she meant is you'll have something bigger going on in your life (preferably your life purpose), this in turn doesn't make the girl the center of your world which can turn into a huge issue. girls don't want to be your number 1 in their life. she'll feel smothered, and you'll come off as needy and clingy among other things. When they say "you don't need to have a decent paying career to attract women" they are just trying to destroy any limiting beliefs you have to approaching women and being with women and they aren't really talking about maintaining a long successful healthy relationship. That is a different matter. 

 

[aurum]

@Hardkill

It definitely seems like you've made an honest effort so let's make this productive. Where are you screwing up in your interactions with women? Do you open your mouth and they run away? Do you go on dates and then nothing happens? Where in the process from meeting -->> having sex do things go wrong?

[Hardkill]

I see what u mean Truth. I guess that makes sense.

 

Aurum, the very opening of any interaction is never really the issue because my looks take care of it (I don't like to brag, but people who know me have told me that I should've done modeling). It's the hooking part of the interaction and I still am sure if I am doing the cold reads right. Also, I wish I knew how to build a strong social frame in most of my interaction. 

Btw, be brutally honest with me guys. Given everything I've done so far, do I only have slim chance at succeeding at pickup? Do I truly have any sufficient genetic latent aptitude to learn well at this stuff? Or am I too retarded for it? I know that given my natural talents I'll never become an English professor or foreign language professor or mathematician at a University, but perhaps I am simply too dumb to learn how to excel at pickup as well. I wonder what Leo would have to say about all of this.

 

 

 

Edited August 9, 2017 by Hardkill

[Santiago]

12 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

I see what u mean Truth. I guess that makes sense.

 

Aurum, the very opening of any interaction is never really the issue because my looks take care of it (I don't like to brag, but people who know me have told me that I should've done modeling). It's the hooking part of the interaction and I still am sure if I am doing the cold reads right. Also, I wish I knew how to build a strong social frame in most of my interaction. 

Btw, be brutally honest with me guys. Given everything I've done so far, do I only have slim chance at succeeding at pickup? Do I truly have any sufficient genetic latent aptitude to learn well at this stuff? Or am I too retarded for it? I know that given my natural talents I'll never become an English professor or foreign language professor or mathematician at a University, but perhaps I am simply too dumb to learn how to excel at pickup. I wonder what Leo would have to say about all of this.

 

 

 

What do you do in your life apart from picking up girls and studying how to do it?

[Hardkill]

See_on_see, I told u already that I tried following Corey Wayne's methods to the letter a few years ago for a while and while they sounded all good on paper, they didn't work for me. 

Santiago, as I stated above on this forum topic, I've been doing martial arts for over 10 years and weightlifting/powerlifting for over 3 and a half years as hobbies. I am a grad student studying to be an occupational therapist. Furthermore, I've gone to meetups such as trivia night for several months, kickball meetup, volleyball meetup, and recently joined a running training club. Plus, I just went to a meditation meetup earlier tonight. 

Moreover, I am getting a contradiction of advice between what Aurum is suggesting to me and what See_on_see is saying I should do. Aurum is telling me to analyze like a pickup and see_on_see is telling me to not to do so and just do the "authentic" way (whatever that truly means because I am probably not a normal human and may never be). So what the hell am I supposed to do.

Actually, do any of u guys know if Leo answer PMs to him frequently or has he gotten too busy to answer most of them back efficiently?

Edited August 9, 2017 by Hardkill

[Shin]

As long as you think you can't do something, you'll never be able to do it.
Right now you think you don't deserve a girlfriend or sex as much as being whatever you want in life career wise.

These are all blocks in your mind, and studying more pick up or other techniques won't do shit.

And I'm not saying you should have a higher self esteem, you obviously think you've great "great body, karate kid", but those are just superficial traits.
A healthy and non needy girl would never stay with a guy who has just that, she may be attracted at first, but she will leave you pretty fast afterwards.
Don't think that those things make you a man, they don't, at best they learned you to be healthy and know how to defend yourself, that's all they can do.

So now quite being a pussy, sit in a room alone and inquire on your incapacity to do the things you think you want, and let all the emotions come up, 

NO CONTROL, NO BLOCKAGE.

You do that everyday for at least 30 minutes, EVERYDAY.

[Spiral]

Stop watching porn, masterbate in moderation. This will grant a better perspective of girls/women. Looking good and doing interesting things can only get you so far. A easier way to "get" girls is to enjoy being with them(without sex etc)and having them enjoy being with you.

Also don't assume we are against you or that you're a bad person because of the way you think, it's very common.

Edited August 9, 2017 by Spiral

[Tightrope Walker]

From my own personal research I found that the key is this: EMOTION.

Women are very emotional, and very receptive. Imagine that everything you are writting here is being perceived by these women you want to fuck.

In more simpler words: you are transmitting your emotions to women, and it doesn't feel good, because you don't feel good.

If you feel good, you make women feel good, if you feel desire you make women feel desire.

But if you feel needy and desperation, you make women not want to fuck you.

Study some emotional and social intelligence.

[Hardkill]

But See_on_See, that's what I've been trying to figure out. I've been analyzing every aspect of myself for years to the point of where I stressed myself out and yet I can't figure it what I am doing to turn off girls. It's like I can't solve some sort of quantum physics problem.

I've thought about seeing a pickup coach or going to a pickup seminar, but they are all ridiculously expensive and too inconvenient for me to travel to.

Tightrope walker, even when I approach women during a day when I am in a great mood, it still never worked. Again, I practiced mindfulness with a legit psychologist, Psy. D. for well over year to point of feeling at peace and "one with the universe," and ironically it didn't increase my ability to attract women. All it did was make me more like able and at ease around people in general socially. That's why Gunwitch says that u don't need to be a monk to pickup. In fact he mentions how working on your inner game up to a certain point becomes counterproductive to seducing women.

 

I really think that Leo is the only person who can possibly give me the best insight and solution on here. 

Edited August 9, 2017 by Hardkill

[Hardkill]

So that's it? No one here really knows how to help me?

Edited August 11, 2017 by Hardkill

[Hardkill]

I don't know how to always lead a girl from one area to another when talking to her at the beginning of a conversation. 

Also, I don't have my own place since I live with my parents. So it's very difficult for me to take a girl to a place to have sex with me. Every time I get close to doing it with a girl, I usually ask to go to their place, but virtually all of them except for one of them say "no we can't because their are other people at my place."

Also, lots of time when a conversation with a girl I just appeoached went well and I get her number, the girl ends up not responding back. Its like she put up a good front or act when we talked in person, but then goes back on her word. That's one of the reasons why I have issued trusting women.

Edited August 11, 2017 by Hardkill

[Lord Bwyra]

Hi Hardkill, welcome to the forums. I just read through this whole thread and I can empathize with your problem as I used to be in a similar position until I got it sorted. I'm gonna say some things now that you probably won't wanna hear.

You sound like a loser. And that's based on the few posts I have read. I have no idea what you look like or how you are in really life but based on the small interactions here and your avatar, you come across as really desperate and needy. If I was a girl or even as a friend, I would avoid people like you.

All you want is to take take take. You keep on blabbering away about getting an answer from Leo as if he will give you some magic pill. And I suspect that's the same thing you have been looking for from all that PUA nonsense.

Not a good first impression! Not for guys, not for girls, not for jobs, not for anything. Obviously you understand nothing about people, persuasion, human psychology, cognitive errors, mating dynamics. I'm not surprised since all the stuff you say you've read is a bunch of bullshit. I've said elsewhere on this forum that the whole "pickup" industry is a scam to take advantage of desperate guys. You are a case in point.

Learn to think for yourself. Become a man. Grow up. This is much more important right now than getting your dick wet. If you wanna get laid, hire a prostitute.

And I say this with love because I think you can change if you cut this bullshit and get serious with your life. I'm the big brother or father figure you never had giving you the talk on the edge of your bed about how to become a man. You're 29 and age is irrelevant because time is not real. You are 9 or 19 or 99. Doesn't matter.

Here's a question for you:

What is your life purpose?

If you don't know or have no clue, take Leo's course. Since you have a job, you can afford it. No excuses. And since you seem to love Leo so much and you want him to give you all the answers, this course will give you an overdose of Leo. Just you and him, all alone

Get your shit together. Stop fucking around and wasting our time with your bullshit mindgames. Nobody cares.

(I wish someone would've given me thís talk many years ago, it would've saved me a lot of frustration and madness).

You can thank me later

Much love brother and if you reply to this and you're still continuing your needy bullshit, I will not respond. Other members can continue playing your games and feeling sorry for you but I certainly will not because I pity no one. I empower.

Hint: tell us what you're gonna do tomorrow, what you're grateful for, express your positive attitude (it's good practise), tell us what a handsome motherfucker stud you are and how girls love you and you make them feel good and how much you enjoy making their days even 1% better, and how feminine energy inspires you and even making a girl smile is a victory for you and everything else is a bonus. Lie if you have to. Just tell us something nice. Since you are using an avatar online, mineaswell make it someone awesome.

That's why my name is Lord B.W.Y.R.A.

Be Who You Really Are.

That's my God. I am nobody. Just some guy, living his life, pursuing life mastery. Yes, I'm a genius artists in the real world but that's another story.

You can do this my friend.

Don't believe these lies in your head that you worship. You have created a false self, this person is an imposter, it's not the real you. Stop feeding that fucking loser victim mentality.

Now tell us how great you are and what a great day you've had. You have all your limbs, you have a dick that works and your dick and a winning smile and fire in your eyes. You are alive and breathing and make people feel awesome. You find inspiration in everyone because they are all sent here for you as a guide like angels in hell.

Or do you wanna go back to being mr. "i suck with women, nothing works" boohoo waawaawaa, i want mommy's titty? Huh? Poopy in your diaper? THROW OUT THE DIAPER!!! DIAPER'S ARE FOR LOSERS. Shit on the floor!

Get the course!!

And next time you see a cute girl, tell her you suck with women but just wanted to say hi and that you have a beautiful smile. If she still hates you, go to the book store and get some Bukowski novels so you can see what laughter feels like. Read Women where it starts with him as a 50 year old drunk who hasn't been laid in years until finally he bangs some 300 pound and the bed breaks. In the morning his wallet is missing and he blames the whore for hiding in her vagina, lol. It's a great book.

That's it. That's all I got for you man.

Oh wait...

Here's a good 3 step process that will get you far in life:

Look Good
Smell Good
Feel Good

Then leave the house and conquer your world

Enjoy your day.