For Guys: Have You Ever Ignored Girls Hitting On You?

[Santiago]

Hi guys, I was wondering how often do you guys ignore a girl that hits on you?

Today I was walking in the park with my brother, we were heading to our grandma's home to visit her. At one moment there were 3 girls sitting on a bench on a side of the road, I saw them from afar and one of them was looking at me, we held eye contact for like 5sec maybe and after half a minute I was already passing in front of them and I heard a "hello" from one of the girls, I don't know which one because I was looking to the front and they were to a side, and then... I just kept walking and didn't reply...

But lets be real, what was I supposed to do anyway? I am here thinking of what could I have done and I have no idea, imagine that I completely stop my walk look at them and reply "hello, how is it going?", that's the best way of following it up that I can come up with, but it is so desperate in my opinion, like you are going your way, then some random girl says hi and you completely stop to talk to them??? isn't that super desperate and an auto-turnoff? It's like pretending to hit on girls sitting on a bench and saying things to them as they walk by.. it NEVER WORKS because they won't stop just like that, well it's the same for guys I think, and if you stop it just comes off too desperate I think.

 

So.. has this happened to you guys? That you just get caught off guard and didn't expect an approach and just ignore it?

 

It has happened to me before too, normally it is groups of girls that say things because when they are alone it's very rare for them to hit on you, and yeah it's overwhelming you never expect it and it's bizarre that a girl hits on you and you just don't know what to do... very different is when you go to hit on girls and cold approach with some ideas in your head on what to do or what to say, but when this happens it just catches me off guard.

[aurum]

3 hours ago, Santiago said:

But lets be real, what was I supposed to do anyway? I am here thinking of what could I have done and I have no idea, imagine that I completely stop my walk look at them and reply "hello, how is it going?", that's the best way of following it up that I can come up with, but it is so desperate in my opinion, like you are going your way, then some random girl says hi and you completely stop to talk to them??? isn't that super desperate and an auto-turnoff? It's like pretending to hit on girls sitting on a bench and saying things to them as they walk by.. it NEVER WORKS because they won't stop just like that, well it's the same for guys I think, and if you stop it just comes off too desperate I think

Right idea...wrong execution.

Great, so you looked non-needy. But guess what it got you? Jack shit.

She said "hi" to you so she's clearly looking to engage in some sort of conversation. She's not going to think you're weird for responding, that's what she's HOPING for.

It's a lay up brother. Take the easy ones when they come.

Literally saying anything would have been better than nothing in that situation.

And even if you do look desperate, so what? I will take looking desperate over looking "cool" if looking desperate it what will actually get a result. Don't be confined by these general principles.

[Santiago]

Yeah I agree that it would have been better to stop since not engaging equals 0% chance, but what I am trying to say is that the scenario was destined to fail anyway(maybe if I stopped I had 0,5% chance), in my opinion the girl did a bad execution as ridiculous as that sounds... because either way it would have gone wrong... If i stopped my walk and tried to make conversation it would have been totally artificial and needy and we all know that neediness is an insta-turnoff for girls, and when I kept walking it gave me value(in her eyes) but avoided the interaction, so either way you are f*cked up.

She could have for example: asked me a question from the bench like "excuse me, do you know where X is?" and then when I was already there not walking and interacting with them it could have gone much better, she could have complimented something from me or just waited me to do a move since we already held eye contact before and I could have tried something there.

 

Anyway the idea of the post was to see if other guys have gone through the same and to see their stories.

Edited August 7, 2017 by Santiago

[Spiral]

@Santiago I do that all the time, if it a proper place to hit on me ill explain myself but not if it's on the street. Don't get me wrong if she is after help or something sure ill give her some of my time but, not if it obvious that she just wants to the "D".

If you actually want to give her the "D" you are going to have to talk to her, seeming way to hard to gets you nowhere. 

Edited August 7, 2017 by Spiral

[MasterNigel]

got hit on by the GIRL? instant jackpot my friend id take that anyday.

[Tightrope Walker]

What if you still held eye contact, and by the time you pass by her side you're already having a conversation. Some time later, you're completely fucking the shit out of her. That would have been nice.

Yeah, I have ignored girls hitting on me many times. But the reason is a pretty fucked up one: I'm too afraid. I get overwhelmed, I feel vertigo, I become this shy idiot that just hides away. So, I'm reading, studying and starting practice in order to fix this, so I can start having the sexual life I truly want

[Marinus]

@Santiago

I totally had the same experience and the worst-case scenario thinking response. The first times I would just walk by and feel stupid for not responding. The times after that I just said hi with the expectation in mind that they are just being friendly to me, then I would walk away. That’s where I’m at now. The next step is of course engaging in a conversation, but I recommend taking things slowly, so you don’t punish yourself, because you didn’t go for it.

For example, if the girls were a bunch of old people, would you say hi or would you freak out in your head? So, seeing girls as random strangers who are friendly and just want to be nice makes it easier for me to talk. You can also try to say hi to any stranger, until you feel comfortable enough to say hi to girls, then the surprise of a girl saying hello would become a potential expectation when you might be in the same situation again.

Why do you think it NEVER WORKS? If you were with your friends and a girl walks by, she might feel pressured too, because it might feel intimidating. Of course, girls and guys are not the same, but we still are humans with feelings.

Hopefully this helps you.

[Truth Seekah]

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-best-advice-women-would-like-to-give-to-men-on-how-to-approach-women

Check Iris Swift's answer

Edited August 17, 2017 by Truth Seekah

[Shin]

"So much girls at once ? That's flattering, but I'm not that good.
Just wait, I'm calling my bdsm gang, I hope you're ok with it, there is a chinese with us ?"

Something like this would do the trick

Edited August 17, 2017 by Shin

[Natasha]

@Santiago She wasn't 'hitting' on you, she was just friendly/ maybe a bit flirty. Doesn't really mean anything. Aknowleging her 'hello' by saying it back to her while walking by would have been ok too...nothing to lose if you are secure. 

[YaNanNallari]

Instead of wondering about how to seem attractive while saying hello I'd see if the will to get to know that girl came from a good or bad place so to say. Was it very neurotic and came from the ego or was it from abundance and more like curiosity? I'd try to stay true to myself and generally avoid the egoic needs (by accepting them) instead of trying to seem like something and please people just to get laid, be liked or whatever.
Also to me it sounds kind of silly to think you couldn't get a girl after saying hi to her. Even if it was a turnoff you could still remain attractive from that point on and for sure there's a chance you'd win her over. Even if the only thing you have to start with is "hello, how is it going?" that doesn't matter. Just stay confident and ok with the possibility of failure. You might also learn something just by talking to them. It's not a heavy investment.

[Emerald]

I think that you over-thought the situation a bit and had too many preconceived notions from pick up. First off, if a girl says hi to you, it doesn't necessarily mean that she's hitting on you. So, there's a bit of jumping the gun there. But if we assume that she is interested in you, then we can look at how your knowledge of pick-up has clouded your interaction.

First off, when someone says hi to you, it comes off as rude to intentionally ignore them. An appropriate response is to say hello back, just like you would with any other person. You seem to have this notion that women are consciously sizing up men for their confidence levels. But most of that happens on an unconscious and intuitive level. If you stopped to talk to her for a moment, this would not have come off as desperate. It would just be normal. She wouldn't be in her mind like, "he stopped to talk, how desperate." Given that we assume that she's interested in you, she probably had a curiosity about you. So, she's not going to be in scrutiny-mode. She just wants your attention and whatever excitement that might bring. As long as you come off as normal in your conversation and don't seem abnormal by saying inappropriate or immature things, then you're probably not going to garner any judgment.

Also, it seems like you're sizing up her "game", so to speak. But you have to understand that women generally don't approach men and are discouraged from doing so. So, if we see a guy that we like, we don't have too many tools to rely upon that we can get a guy's attention that doesn't get read as desperate or slutty. So, women are often overlooked by men they're interested in, and instead get approached by men we're not interested in. So, if she was interested in you, then she's probably just a bit more outgoing and iconoclastic but doesn't have fancy methods for getting guy's attention. She may not even know that it is often read as desperate if she's young and fairly inexperienced in dating and a firm believer in equality. So, her knowledge of "game" and your paradigm is either limited or non-existent.

The number one thing that you have to realize is that, from a woman's perspective, they generally feel just as uncomfortable if not more uncomfortable to express interest and attraction to a guy. It never feels like a sure thing. And women also have a fear of rejection. So, it isn't as though women feel comfortable in those situations, while men are uncomfortable. The discomfort is mutual.

[cavedraw1]

I, never have ignored a lady hitting on me,just try to be kind..and say thanks..cause don't happen often..wish..ladies where more open to doing it