Fear Of Standing Up For Others/ Acting Like A Hero

[Tariq]

Today, whilst waiting for the bus I noticed a couple sitting on a bench across the street.

There was nothing unusual about them so I didn't really pay attention to them, I was just gazing everywhere like I usually do..

But, and just by chance , I noticed the guy who was atleast 5 years older than me (I'm 17) punch the girl while totally keeping it cool like nothing happened.

She  remained seated and tried to mask her cying, at that moment he started getting closer to her and acting like he's conforting her.

I had a really strong urge to step in but, at the time it seemed ... too inapropriate, too unecessary and too risky... So i did nothing

Now I feel ashamed, because I know probably react the same way if this happened again.

What would you do in my situation ?

[Kelley White]

1 hour ago, Tariq said:

Today, whilst waiting for the bus I noticed a couple sitting on a bench across the street.

There was nothing unusual about them so I didn't really pay attention to them, I was just gazing everywhere like I usually do..

But, and just by chance , I noticed the guy who was atleast 5 years older than me (I'm 17) punch the girl while totally keeping it cool like nothing happened.

She  remained seated and tried to mask her cying, at that moment he started getting closer to her and acting like he's conforting her.

I had a really strong urge to step in but, at the time it seemed ... too inapropriate, too unecessary and too risky... So i did nothing

Now I feel ashamed, because I know probably react the same way if this happened again.

What would you do in my situation ?

 @Tariq Hi.  I'm sorry you experienced this.  It had to have been disturbing.    Thank you for your question.

I'm not certain I would advocate anyone reacting how I might react....I have law enforcement training and I live in the US.    I'm not certain how you handle that situation in Morocco or what the legalities and support would be?

I think each situation is different and you have to weigh your ability to bring resolution versus escalate or become a part of the problem.  If you called the police would they be supportive of the woman?  If you said something to the man, would he hear you and acknowledge you, or would he ignore you or potentially harm you?  (I don't know, I wasn't there.  Why I'm asking.)   Could he harm her worse if you interfered?  Would the woman's family be grateful for your interference?  These are all unknowns for me.   I only know what I've read or heard from other woman living in Morocco and the struggles they face.

It sounds to me like there was what you wish you could have done and what you did?  What do you feel you would have liked to have done?  Would that have made a difference or could it have made things worse?

 

[Tariq]

1 hour ago, Kelley White said:

 @Tariq Hi.  I'm sorry you experienced this.  It had to have been disturbing.    Thank you for your question.

I'm not certain I would advocate anyone reacting how I might react....I have law enforcement training and I live in the US.    I'm not certain how you handle that situation in Morocco or what the legalities and support would be?

I think each situation is different and you have to weigh your ability to bring resolution versus escalate or become a part of the problem.  If you called the police would they be supportive of the woman?  If you said something to the man, would he hear you and acknowledge you, or would he ignore you or potentially harm you?  (I don't know, I wasn't there.  Why I'm asking.)   Could he harm her worse if you interfered?  Would the woman's family be grateful for your interference?  These are all unknowns for me.   I only know what I've read or heard from other woman living in Morocco and the struggles they face.

It sounds to me like there was what you wish you could have done and what you did?  What do you feel you would have liked to have done?  Would that have made a difference or could it have made things worse?

 

I know no more details about the situation than what I have already wrote, and that was the problem.

The couple (assuming they are) were strangers for me, I have no idea what their situation is like nor why did he do what he did...

The lack of details is what made the right thing to do so unclear and my question is what do I do in lack of the necessary compenents to make a judgement, do I just walk away ?

[Kelley White]

@TariqWhat do you think?  You did walk away, so you thought walking away was the thing to do at that time yes?  What at that time made you want to not interfere?

[Guest]

So on one hand you probably should have done something, but you were afraid to get some yourself from that guy. Especially since the guy was older and agressive.

On the other hand, it was none of your business and you are not the white knight and saviour for some random girls. She is gonna get fucked up anyway by this guy, probably she is used to it already, but if you interfered then you would get fucked up and she later too. This way at least only one of you got smacked, and it was not you. So congratulations brother.

I would still throw that asshole against the wall tho, no matter who was in danger. Even if he smacked another guy who was weaker than him I would smack that asshole too. But that's just me though.

No one deserves to be treaten this way, especially no woman since they are even more helpless

Edited February 22, 2016 by The Alchemist

[Kelley White]

On 2/22/2016 at 11:58 AM, The Alchemist said:

So on one hand you probably should have done something, but you were afraid to get some yourself from that guy. Especially since the guy was older and agressive.

On the other hand, it was none of your business and you are not the white knight and saviour for some random girls. She is gonna get fucked up anyway by this guy, probably she is used to it already, but if you interfered then you would get fucked up and she later too. This way at least only one of you got smacked, and it was not you. So congratulations brother.

I would still throw that asshole against the wall tho, no matter who was in danger. Even if he smacked another guy who was weaker than him I would smack that asshole too. But that's just me though.

No one deserves to be treaten this way, especially no woman since they are even more helpless

I definitely appreciate your integrity and understand your position.  @The Alchemist.