Mission Log. Operation: Un-fuck Life

[Space Coyote]

Mission object: Sleep.

Get better sleep. It sound so simple on the surface…but no in trying to improve my sleep…I opened a whole can of worms.

To get beater sleep requires a degree of sacrifice, I have to be more discipline in blocking out distractions, I have to more carefully plan my schedule, and decide what my real priorities are. All that alone made getting more sleep a bigger undertaking then I thought but that is just the tip of the iceburg. I thought getting more sleep was going to be a relatively mechanical habit to install like when I put into place a skin care regimen. What I got is a much deeper journey.

Good sleep increase productivity everyone knows this yet we have fetishized being perpetually under-rested and over-caffeinated as being signs of a strong work ethic. No they are signs of false productivity, you can’t produce quality work this way. At best what you get is a lot mediocre crap made by an army of caffeine-animated zombies. Trying to improve my sleep made aware of how deeply perverse this is as a model of productivity.

I already want to break out of my current retail job, this added another reason to the list but not the one I expected. Annoying scheduling practices make it harder to get good rest I was expecting to get more annoyed at that in the process and I am but that is that is tiny compared to what I really realized: Being a retail supervisor basically means I’m the task master for a bunch of caffeine-zombies. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE!  

Aurum made a good point in this thread:

Quote

 

Is being a "glorified cashier" something that feels aligned with your highest purpose?

From the way you describe it, I'd say no. And so you're starting to see friction

 

FRICTION INCREASING.

There isn’t much point in increasing genuine productive potential if you’re stuck in in low-quality zombie land...it just makes the other zombies wonder why you’re no longer accepting free coffee. A good night sleep doesn’t just give me more energy to purse a higher purpose (as I thought it would) its given me more drive, more motivation, more reason, more hunger to achieve a higher propose.

I’m more awake now, but not just physically.

Stay woke fellow actualizes.

[Space Coyote]

Mission objective: Learn

So I got around to watching Leo’s latest video. On how learning = behave change and it brought some thoughts to my head I thought would be worth writing down for future

1)      It reminded me of a lesson I once learn from a nutrition professor, she said is she had her way she would completely remove words like “increase in knowledge of” from all nutrition research because there is a big difference between knowing what you should be eating and what people actually eat. The only outcome she is interested in is are people actually eating differently. However, that much harder to measure so we have a problem of way to many studies looking at an easy to measure but pretty “meh” metrics of effectiveness. This is a lesson applicable to much more then nutritional research.

2)      O God do I need to put this idea in to practice, ever since I watched Leo’s video on subtle additions. It was clear to me that my biggest addition is: theory over practice, (including theory 2.0: private practicing over actual real world contribution, and theory 3.0: contributing without truly embodying and living the lessons). The depths of this is hard for me to admit...

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I have two bachelor’s degrees, (so I got theory down nice) and yet…

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I’m a retail Front end supervisor (theory to practice epic fail) and yet…

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It (somehow) gets worse than then that, but I’ll save that for another day……

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Seriously all these ellipsis don’t adequately cover just how emotionally exhausting that last paragraph was to write.

3)      This is how you make a counterfeit self, start with a counterfeit definition of learning and let it snowball from there. I’ll make another post in which I’ll go in depth by which I mean by this, like I said just writing down notes for future reference.

 

So how will this change my behavior…

1)      Stop calling anything without a behavior change component “learning”.

2)      Stop denying the depths of just how addicted to theory you are. Step one admit you have a problem: by Friday post those “it somehow gets worse” points.

3)      I’ve been think of journaling for a while so starting tomor…..no, no, I see what you’re doing there brain…*gets up and walks out of room, finds unused journal he bought like a month ago…sets timer for 5 minutes….starts writing*. I’ve starting writing a journal, specifically labeling what ideas I’ve hand and what behaviors I’m actually practicing.

a.       I will only look up videos about how to improve my journaling if I’ve done my journaling for the day.

[Space Coyote]

Mission Objective: Sooo you've been fired. 

Well can't say it completely unexpected but today I was fired...honestly the timing is what is annoying more then anything. I was planing  to look for a new job in 2018 anyway but I was planing on taking advantage of bonus holiday hours first.... Grrr.

On the bright side this is a chance to find something better, the money I have saved should last me till I find a new job especially if I take advantage of student loan unemployment deferment so the more I think of it this many be a blessing in disguise...a blessing in disguise I would have still preferred in January but still. 

Hurricane Irma hit my family not hard really everything is fine, repaired...or being repaired *mumbles something about roofers being unreliable SOBs* but hard enough to trigger a backslide in regards to my habits. To help me get back in my groove I've been thinking of that backslide a a "hard reset"...well it looks like I'm resting more life systems then I thought

Well then if that how it going to be...

then...*raise glass of caffeinated beverage fueling resume updating* "To the hard reset"