My Bedrock Limiting Belief Finally Discovered!

[kieranperez]

"NOTHING IN MY LIFE NOR ANYTHING I DO IN LIFE MATTERS SINCE I DON'T MATTER."

In a twisted sense I'm actually happy I finally found this. Just because I've finally articulated the source after all these years of what I truly feel that has been causing all my self-sabotage and planned attempts in suicide over the years... 

Now, the question is... how the fuck do I eradicate this fucking thing once and for all? Yes, I know, 'challenge it.' I'm talking about on specific practical level though. Any techniques anyone has to share that can relate to this?

[ajasatya]

@kieranperez observe your thoughts, your words and your body 24/7

you know the drill to observe your thoughts and words. look for self-sabotaging patterns. study yourself.

for the body, look for tensioned muscles and learn to relax them. observe discomforts in your abdomen, chest and your throat. learn to understand what the body says.

the main goal is to live with a comfortable body and a sharp/steady mind.

[Bebop]

Through continual growth, self awareness and unconditional acceptance of self. Self sabotage is usually caused by an unconscious mechanism in order to prevent you from being hurt from past experiences.

[Leo Gura]

@kieranperez Well of course it's true: you don't matter.

So what?

Life goes on.

Your problem is not that you don't matter. It's all the social and cultural expectations you've got about who you're supposed to be and what you're supposed to do, which have got you tangled up. Culture fills our minds with stupid, unquestioned notions like: "I'm supposed to matter", or, "mattering is good whereas not mattering is bad.", etc.

These all need to be questioned deeply until they are seen to be the groundless absurdities that they always were.

Meaning is a projection of the human mind. It does not really exist. You can project any kind of meaning you want unto the work. The world is like a blank canvas. Which means you're free to paint whatever kind of life you want.

It's precisely because nothing matters, that life is great, and that anything can matter to you if you choose it.

[Edvard]

@Leo Gura But suffering exists (or?), and one matters in terms of increasing or decreasing suffering, even though there ultimately is no «you» who are responsible for it. What we do does matter, even though we don't have free will. Of course you can ask: because of absolute infinity, is one less suffer infinity-1, so what's that? But then, why does Leo bother about anything? You have enough money to just «be» the rest of your life. I'm just asking, solely out of curiosity, and perhaps in the hope of getting some insight. Idk, maybe I'm rationalizing too much... and reality it's just me, you said. No one else, which is hard to understand. You're supposedly a facet of me. 

Edited August 4, 2017 by Edvard

[Joseph Maynor]

What about this one -- believing that you have limiting beliefs at all.  You have no limiting beliefs unless you believe that you have limiting beliefs.  You're not gonna get this until you work on spiritual enlightenment, but it is a little taste of why enlightenment is important in personal development.  Thought doesn't limit reality.

Edited August 4, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[kieranperez]

I think a big thing worth noting is that this relates to a sense of feeling worthless and inferior. Although I get what @Leo Gura is putting down given how much he's emphasized this matter in his more as advanced videos. 

A good mere example of this can be my last breakup. Again, this is one (relatively) recent example out of the course of my life - when my ex who I was so emotionally invested in (more than she was in me, for reasons I've covered in other posts described in way more detail) left me, I'll see her on social media and always feel so meaningless and how "I don't matter after all." Same goes for the goals I've had throughout my life that, as far as I'm aware, I pretty much achieved none of them. So it kinda ties in with my sense of self image. Simply because of the subconscious thought that 'I'm not even good enough to succeed in the things that matter to me most in the world. I guess it nor I matter after all.' Which of course leads to the analogy of how I've fallen and I refuse to get up because I don't see the point in it anymore because it feels like I've been handed all the evidence I "need" to support these claims that just pile on more misery.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Edvard said:

@Leo Gura But suffering exists (or?), and one matters in terms of increasing or decreasing suffering, even though there ultimately is no «you» who are responsible for it. What we do does matter, even though we don't have free will. Of course you can ask: because of absolute infinity, is one less suffer infinity-1, so what's that? But then, why does Leo bother about anything? You have enough money to just «be» the rest of your life.

Life is PLAY. It's a game. Why do you play games? For fun.

What do you expect me to do? Sit around and cry? The point of life is to live it. I don't need some God to offer me cookies for living well. The motivation is INTRINSIC.

Life is absolutely groundless, and that's the most beautiful design imaginable.

@kieranperez The key it to become deeply conscious that "worth" is an illusion. Everything is ultimately worthless. But it's not enough to believe me. You have to actually SEE that this is true in your direct experience.

If you want a more "practical" fix, you can do Nathaniel Branden's Self-Esteem Sentence Completion exercises. His book is on my book list. They are very effective for fixing low self-esteem, which is what you're describing.

P.S. When your ex leaves you and you suffer, that's not "meaningless", that DEEPLY meaning to you. Which is the whole problem! If it was truly meaningless, it wouldn't even register in your consciousness. You're being manipulated by your concepts of reality.

If you truly realized meaninglessness, you'd be the happiness person on the planet. Nothing could bother you. Not even your death. The problem is that you're assigning meaning to a bunch of stuff which is meaningless, and then you're suffering the consequences of living in this conceptual matrix of meaning. What you need to ultimately do is discover the beauty of being.

[Brivido]

On 4/8/2017 at 4:16 AM, Leo Gura said:

Life is PLAY. It's a game. Why do you play games? For fun.

Once, I saw a dog running in a field after the rain. I thought to myself "Why the fuck is he running like that?", then I realized that he wasn't doing it for any particular reason, he was just running for the joy of running. All of life is Purposeless, and that's the beauty of it.

 

[kieranperez]

On 8/3/2017 at 7:16 PM, Leo Gura said:

Life is PLAY. It's a game. Why do you play games? For fun.

What do you expect me to do? Sit around and cry? The point of life is to live it. I don't need some God to offer me cookies for living well. The motivation is INTRINSIC.

Life is absolutely groundless, and that's the most beautiful design imaginable.

@kieranperez The key it to become deeply conscious that "worth" is an illusion. Everything is ultimately worthless. But it's not enough to believe me. You have to actually SEE that this is true in your direct experience.

If you want a more "practical" fix, you can do Nathaniel Branden's Self-Esteem Sentence Completion exercises. His book is on my book list. They are very effective for fixing low self-esteem, which is what you're describing.

P.S. When your ex leaves you and you suffer, that's not "meaningless", that DEEPLY meaning to you. Which is the whole problem! If it was truly meaningless, it wouldn't even register in your consciousness. You're being manipulated by your concepts of reality.

If you truly realized meaninglessness, you'd be the happiness person on the planet. Nothing could bother you. Not even your death. The problem is that you're assigning meaning to a bunch of stuff which is meaningless, and then you're suffering the consequences of living in this conceptual matrix of meaning. What you need to ultimately do is discover the beauty of being.

It's really funny the timing of me rereading this as I literally got a message from my ex... I reached out to her asking for advice on something (clearly a fucking mistake). The MOMENT I got a message from her and saw who sent it I felt entire nervous system shiver and shake and started to choke up. 

It really showed just how unconscious I am of how much it still matters to me. Already kinda crying writing this. I'm just disappointed partially because I even received advice from her because it shows in someway that she's doing goood and I'm doing worse than her and that really makes me feel like I'm lacking. Not going lie, this realization is REALLY hard to swallow right now. Not to mention how hard it is while having to look at that picture of her with her current boyfriend. 

I know I'm alluding to a common message in your videos but i think this shows me just how much I don't want to accept nor be okay with truth and reality. Goes to show how this isn't how I feel things should be nor am I okay with the way things are... Goddamnit!!!

[kieranperez]

I just realized that in a very sick and twisted way, I don't want to be happy. I want to allow myself to be happy. I'm not okay with this and I don't want to be okay with the way things are. I consciously know this is making things worse but deep down... there's just that subconscious or whatever the fuck it is that just doesn't want to let any of this go. I want to be upset and also that this is how I want to feel. I want to keep suffering and torturing myself. No matter how much I want all of this to get head of my head, I do have to be honest that ... at the same time... I want to have this suffering lead me to an early grave.

FUCK