Is Pick Up Worth It?

[Spiral]

@Lord Bwyra That a bit harsh, while I agree that seeing women as sex object and only doing pickup for sex is a bit shallow.It is also true that many pick "artists" are quite unethical in there approach to the whole thing. But if both partis get what they expected I don't really see a problem in it, as long as it's just a phase.  Women at least in western countries are really promiscuous so it's not like his necessary taking advance of them

@onacloudynight As per advice, don't expect anything. If excitement is really the goal then perhaps talking is just that, exciting. Enjoy that and if it leads to something else then that might be even more exciting. Try to have fun instead of being so serious about it, that will help.

Got approach anxiety? no worries I got you. Start talking to women your are not attracted to. Why? To see that you can have a lot of fun with them as well(but don't flirt that's just mean). Do that few of times and the approach anxiety will be reduced and as a bonus you'll learn some new things about women. 

 

 

Edited August 4, 2017 by Spiral

[Lord Bwyra]

Hi Spiral, I think you missed my point entirely.

There's nothing wrong with "using" people for sex as long as the consent is mutual, people are enjoying themselves, etc. Or if you pay for it. That's fine. Sex is awesome. Men love it, women love it. Win-win. We use each other in one way or another anyways whether it's sex or something else.

I just have issues with people using lazy, shallow vocabulary that is not helpful to anyone and on top of that hiding behind misleading euphemisms. It's one of those things we can control completely and has a huge effect on what kind of impact we make on the world and those around us as well as our own state of mind and focus.

There's also no such thing as a pick up artist and the whole idea of "pickup" is pretty much a huge scam. It was just a marketing term invented by a bunch of losers who couldn't get laid and probably still can't, selling snake oil to other desperate losers who also can't get laid and still can't. It's not rocket science and you don't need some 9 step method or seminars to get laid.

You just need to get your life in order, good physical shape, social life, hobbies, sense of purpose, positive attitude, sense of humor, education, money, etc. There's absolutely no need to learn some arbitrary "pickup" unless you want to make other men richer.

That's my point. But it seems many guys have really been brainwashed by this non-industry. But as mentioned, I was one of those guys and it did get my on the path of personal development and learning about how marketing works.

 

[Lord Bwyra]

Spiral, on a different note... I noticed a typo in your signature:

Quote

You can't be enlighten, no one can

You probably meant:

You can't be enlightened, no one can.

[Spiral]

@Lord Bwyra Alright fair enought, thanks for the signature heads up 

[Lord Bwyra]

No worries friend.

[onacloudynight]

9 hours ago, Lord Bwyra said:

I empathize with you and I think just getting these thoughts out and interacting with others will put you on a productive path. These are important questions and things to figure out. I think we would all like to help you a little more if you can give us some more details about who you are and where you are at in life. There have already been some good posts here but there seems to be a refusal on your part to open up more and interact with us. That's okay too if you just wanted some quick advice.

I have no problem with opening up. Basically I am a 19 year old guy who recently quit his job because I couldn't stand working in a crappy environment. I am basically a semi-loner who has no real desire for friendship, but seems to still have a desire for sex. I took the life purpose course and what I got out of it was that I want to help other people become more conscious, but in order to do that I have to become more conscious myself. So I spend the majority of my time meditating as it seems like the most productive thing I can be doing and plus I love it. I honestly just feel a pull to leave society and become a monk, but I guess a little part of me still wants sex.

Edited August 4, 2017 by onacloudynight

[Shin]

Didn't do pick up at all, only focused on getting better at socializing, being funny and most importantly healing my inner child wounds.

What I see right now is that most women are interested to talk to me, smile at me, it is easy to be around them (even hot ones) and I can talk about anything (even weird sex discussion) with them.

If you do the hard work of being a real man, you won't need to learn how to manipulate women, women will naturally be interested in you over time, especially the one that share the same interest or have a similar energetic signature.

Pick up is just a bandage, a temporary solution, it solves nothing, at least not deeply.
A lot of men that are good with women are still full of fear, self-image problem, anxiety (well hidden, but still there), anger issue, and the list goes on an on.
This is easily explained, because the reasons why someone would want to go that deep into learning how to attract women are in most cases in these  two groups:

-Craving for pussies and thinks it is the shit in life (no, it's just another addiction).
- Craving for affection, and thinks that having a nice relationship will make life wonderful (no, it just means you have a relationship).

You really don't want to be good with women, you want to be a man, and a man doesn't need a woman.
If you think otherwise, you have deeper issues to solve than being good with women ...

[Lord Bwyra]

13 hours ago, onacloudynight said:

I have no problem with opening up. Basically I am a 19 year old guy who recently quit his job because I couldn't stand working in a crappy environment. I am basically a semi-loner who has no real desire for friendship, but seems to still have a desire for sex. I took the life purpose course and what I got out of it was that I want to help other people become more conscious, but in order to do that I have to become more conscious myself. So I spend the majority of my time meditating as it seems like the most productive thing I can be doing and plus I love it. I honestly just feel a pull to leave society and become a monk, but I guess a little part of me still wants sex.

Okay. I'm gonna say some things that you might not like. So here goes.

I had a look at your journal and I honestly think you should tone down on the meditation stuff and go bang at least a 100 hot girls. You will love it. Don't listen to people who've never done that and say that this will never fulfill you. They don't know what they're talking about. It DOES fulfill you, especially if the sex is great and the girls are really beautiful and desire you equally. You will carry those memories with you forever while other "monks" are secretly watching porn on their mobiles pretending to get enlightened.

But more importantly, learn the skill that this requires (it's not even about the notches although that's fun too). Otherwise this is gonna drive you nuts whether you become a monk or not. You clearly have some strong desires that are dying to get out. Because you are so young I really don't think it's healthy to just get all spiritual about it and suppress them. That will be trouble down the road. You will die of dick cancer or something.

I say this based on my own life experience. I'm 34 and in a completely different situation now. And I've had enough sex to satisfy that urge (although it's never fully satisfied). So for me it's okay to put sex and all that aside temporarily and focus on other stuff. I see guys my age still chasing tail and getting nowhere in life because they have nothing else. That's the other extreme and equally pathetic as a 19 year old who's meditating for 3 hours per day but secretly wants to get laid, lol

You are 19 for god sakes, go out and have some fun. Get a nice body. Make some serious money online or become a bartender. And get rid of these bullshit limiting beliefs like thinking you're a "semi-loner" who has no "real desire for friendships". It's all nonsense in your head. If you really believe that crap, obviously you have gained zero beneficial insights from your meditation practice. And you have failed to integrate the meditative state with your time off the cushion, which is the most important thing. Start practicing meditation when you talk to some cute girl. That's REAL meditation, not some escape from being a man of the world who wants to be fucking awesome.

Spend the next 10 years of your life traveling, learning people skills, making friends, learning hard and soft skills in life, build businesses, help other people, have some relationships, read, study, grow, learn, fail, break the law if you have to, rob some banks, mug old ladies (just kidding about the last two), do drugs, get in fights, explore possibilities with sex, art, love, careers, different paths and methods and ideologies. HURT yourself. Get some scars. Win. Lose. Love!

When you are 30, do the Life Purpose course again and then you can start thinking about the monk stuff. Otherwise, all the meditation in the world will not do shit for you. And even if you become a monk, your life will be completely wasted because how can you communicate with anyone when you don't know shit about shit. You won't help anyone become more conscious like that.

You reached out for a reason. What you have been doing until now is not working otherwise you wouldn't be reading this. Think about your life long term. When you're 80 and sitting down to write your life story, you want some good material to work with

Now go out into the world, abandon your current "identity" and fail. Embarrass yourself. Degrade yourself. Just fucking destroy that SELF you have worked so hard at building and are so desperately trying to transcend with your 3 hour meditations, lol. Be someone else for a few years.

You are nothing. You are nobody. You know nothing. You are a baby bird flapping it's wings trying to fly.

You can thank me later although if you are anything like me when I was 19, you will ignore everything I just said and even all the Life Purpose courses or spiritual masterpiece books in the world will never help you because you are so stubborn. 

It's 2017. I honestly think the monks and nuns and other religious idiots are the most deluded people on this planet especially if they have no real life experience. Zero contribution besides their little village or commune (and yes I've been to some like Plum Village in Thailand which is awesome but I felt really bad for all the young aspiring monks especially when I saw all the cute nuns there!!). They are not happy, just dumb and ignorant in their own little worlds. And uneducated and getting a terribly lopsided, unbalanced view of the world. If that is what you want, go for it.

I wish you well brother regardless of what you decide. Let me know how it goes.

 

[Erlend K]

@Lord Bwyra great advise! This is what you should do. Don't end up using "spirituality" as a way to escape reality, justify lazyness or supress what your true feelings or desires. 

[Pristinemn]

On 5-8-2017 at 9:07 AM, Lord Bwyra said:

I had a look at your journal and I honestly think you should tone down on the meditation stuff and go bang at least a 100 hot girls. You will love it. Don't listen to people who've never done that and say that this will never fulfill you. They don't know what they're talking about. It DOES fulfill you, especially if the sex is great and the girls are really beautiful and desire you equally. You will carry those memories with you forever while other "monks" are secretly watching porn on their mobiles pretending to get enlightened.

Finally someone who says it. Thank you. I can support this statement wholeheartedly based on my own experience.

Let me elaborate a little bit: interacting with girls has been one of the most fulfilling things I have done over the last decade, and it still is. Contrary to monk-belief, it also doesn't get old. Not for me (I connect deeply with most girls I see, maybe that's why). It's not just an exciting sexual adventure, although that is very important (never let any d.i.y. monk talk you into believing that sex is 'superficial'). It also brings a lot of beauty (not just physically - the whole world becomes more beautiful) and gratitude. Most of all it brings deep feelings of presence and connection.

There are some huge traps along the way though:

1. Performing: just plain acting to get girls. If they believe it, they will love you for your act, not for you. This will bring feelings of low-selfesteem and shame on the long term. Fake it till you make it initially IF that's necessary, but never get stuck in performance. Authenticity communicated in a socially savvy way will win in the end.

2. Forgetting about other things in life. Basically not acting on some life purpose. You are 19, so this is not important for you right now. Something to keep an eye on in the future though.

3. Overcomplicating things. @Lord Bwyra said already a lot about this. Practice is much more important than theory. Experience will breed intuition.

4. Becoming cynical or dark. Can't say much about this, I had some really hard blows, but girls tend to respond at least respectful to me, and more than that half of the time. Not trying to fuck girls while being 19 is a sure way to become cynical and dark, btw.

Edited October 8, 2017 by Pristinemn

[Barbarian Number 8]

@Lord Bwyra

Dear Lord!

I just wanted to thank you for the words of wisdom:

"Look good.
Feel good.
Smell good.

Master that holy trinity and the women will gravitate to you like a herd of wild horny monkeys."

I laughed so I cried, it is so tru and so very well put! TY for making my day!