Change! Is It Possible? How You Did It?

[Miguel Oliveira]

Hy guys!

I'm trying to change deeply who I am.

I see RSD videos about pick-up and that things and I deeply resonate with one thing. I can appear to be cool, to be funny, to be "high-status" and get the girl but that was just a mask, deep down I don't feel deserving of that girl, I don't feel deserving to be high-status, I don't feel deserving to have a successfull business cause I see myself has different from everyone AND with this I can get sex that night, hell I can be on a relationship with her but soon she will go cause the real "me" that I projected for myself, the "me" with all the blocks on the mind, with all of the limits are still there, she just saw my mask!

THIS IS THE THING THAT I WANNA CHANGE, I WANNA NOT "SEEM" SUCCESSFULL, GROUNDED, ALPHA, CALM, FEARLESS, AMBITIOUS, I WANNA "BE" SUCCESSFULL, GROUNDED, ALPHA, CALM, FEARLESS, AMBITIOUS, NOT TAKING SHIT FROM ANYONE.

Now I make sense of how all the childhood beliefs that were put on me, all the vows, all that things change and keep on changing the person who I am.

Right now I don't feel normal, I don't feel like I deserve to have a business, I feel dumber than when I was young (was the top student), I feel like I'm not part of this world.

I changed so much from being extroverted and an happy guy to know being introverted, to have fear to even go to groceries store by myself.

I see so many programs, so many things that are the "pill" for you to deeply change, to reprogram yourself to be high status, to be successfull in all areas of life BUT with so much information they don't fucking say what his the most effective, the most important and the one that absolutely changes you forever.

 

I'm here making this post for you guys, if you don't mind, share with me the best program, the best thing to deeply change yourself to success in all areas in life and get out from you all the things that shapped you that you know that are stopping you from getting the results and life that you want.

I know that I have so many blocks to get out, I see programs of Tony Robbins (NLP), Julien Blanc(shadow work) and many other but I don't know what is the best for me to change effectively what I am right now, the new "me", the "me" that was changed by time and by circuntances.

People if you can share with me the best programs to take, the best things to do this I would be extremely thankful.

Thanks!  

[poimandres]

You definitely do deserve to have whatever it is you want, so that's probably step 1 is overturning that false belief.

As to what is most effective, all of the techniques are going to come down to introspection. 

Reread your post as well. So if you want to actually "BE" these things, you are going to have to play the part a bit. But do things that scare you to develop a sense of confidence. After this confidence, all those things that you mentioned, fearless, grounded, etc, will be by-products of doing hard things.

One solid recommendation I heard a while ago was doing an improv comedy class.

Edited August 2, 2017 by poimandres

[ajasatya]

@Miguel Oliveira do you want to feel complete? then stop doing this inner work to use it as a tool to impress others.

the way of ego is about attaining. the way of wisdom is about letting go.

now, my sincere opinion: i find PUA an extremely poor and petty practice. it's possible to go deeper.

[Visitor]

@Miguel Oliveira It seems you are at a point of truth which no longer matches your lifelong accumulations of beliefs about what success is all about. You sense that there is a need for a great change. The main change will be your definition of 'success'. You no longer want to be deceptive and a fake, but truthful and genuine.

This is a 180 degree turn around, and most likely not to happen overnight. Besides if it did, you might die from shock (just kidding). But you would think that somebody gave you a brain transplant while you were asleep.

I was in a similar situation, but in my case I had to change or soon die from addictions. In my first several months to a year of recovery was to question all my thoughts around my wants. So, whenever I wanted to do, or get, something I would think. "What is the opposite thing to do?" Then I would have a better chance to make the right decision for going the opposite way to where I was at.

Another way, which I used for many years is to have an idea of where I wanted to go. What was that person, 180 degrees about face, like? I used the term 'a person in recovery'. So whenever I had doubt I would ask myself "What would a person in recovery do in this situation?" Usually (99%) my first thoughts would be the better choice, even if it meant that I had the face my fears or be responsible.

The journey has taken me many years, but I would do it all over again, without question. It is the best thing I have ever done. 

[Joseph Maynor]

Yes, look into enlightenment.  Leo has great videos on enlightenment.  Enlightenment is the major key to personal development; although not the only key.  There are many, many other little niggly keys to uproot and find in personal development than enlightenment.  

Edited August 2, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Arkandeus]

Quote

"BE" SUCCESSFULL, GROUNDED, ALPHA, CALM, FEARLESS, AMBITIOUS

it's nice to strive towards a certain state of being but all these labels are hurting the real you....all these labels are in the way of the real you. 
which needs space to express and bloom itself. 
you do not become fearless by worrying about having fear, by allowing the fear that you have now to shine through can you access states of higher composure. 

I just have to say that I see a big longing towards these labels, towards this identity that you want to create. 
It's the wrong way, you have to let your own essence flow, and whatever it will be , you have to accept it, you may be fearful one moment, weak one moment, but as you accept these states that's when your power grows, when you truely accept being weak, you become strong; because you don't fear being weak anymore.  

just trust that your real self is aligned with your desires, if you desire to feel confident, it will happen inevitably, just allow what is happening now to unfold, reality will inevitably lead you to your desires. 
truely allow yourself to be ''weak'', explore what you are right now, you will be amazed in the good and the light that you will find in who you are now. 

you want life to give you more, but are you appreciating what life is giving you right now? how can you appreciate being "strong" if you don't appreciate being "weak"? it's a lesson
you will soon see there is no difference between being strong and weak

Edited August 2, 2017 by Arkandeus

[Miguel Oliveira]

@ajasatya I talked about PUA as an example.

Example to change myself on the deepest way.

On the surface we can change for a bit but then after some time the rooted paradigms come up and control the situation.

This is the research that I'm making in order to change the deep beliefs, paradigms that were put on me as the time went on.