Seeking Validation

[Toasty]

First of all,i want to clarify what it means to seek validation. I understand we have a self image.  Are we looking for external ques to validate our self image? 

[Zephyr]

Humans depend on each other for survival. Even if now we can survive on our own in our society, our genetics still holds us back. Being accepted by others is important for our survival.

We seek validation when

- we show off in front of people. you realize that cause it won't be something you would do when you at alone.

- we try to be nice to other people. Even if it means being dishonest.

its pretty much mostly when you change your behaviour to please others or to maintain your reputation. 

[vizual]

You have an ego which gives itself an image and persona in which it feels safe and unthreatened. As long as this image is uphold your ego thinks it won't be threatened and it can continue to exist.

When this image gets questioned by certain events or people, your ego will feel stress. Since its own existence is on the line. This could even be something stupid as someone makes a joke about your hair. Since your ego might define itself where how his hair looks is of great importance. Someone making a comment about your hair might be just as stressful as someone attacking you with a knife. In both instances the ego's continuity is being attacked.

When the image gets validated by events the ego will feel great. The validation reassures the ego's existence and this makes it feel all cosy and safe. 

[Toasty]

1 hour ago, vizual said:

You have an ego which gives itself an image and persona in which it feels safe and unthreatened. As long as this image is uphold your ego thinks it won't be threatened and it can continue to exist.

When this image gets questioned by certain events or people, your ego will feel stress. Since its own existence is on the line. This could even be something stupid as someone makes a joke about your hair. Since your ego might define itself where how his hair looks is of great importance. Someone making a comment about your hair might be just as stressful as someone attacking you with a knife. In both instances the ego's continuity is being attacked.

When the image gets validated by events the ego will feel great. The validation reassures the ego's existence and this makes it feel all cosy and safe. 

Thanks Visual. That makes alot of sense. Do we need validation? Also,  i can't seem to get a solid answer of what the ego is.

 

Also, is the self image what we think others see us as or is it how we see ourselves?

[Water]

9 minutes ago, Toasty said:

Thanks Visual. That makes alot of sense. Do we need validation? Also,  i can't seem to get a solid answer of what the ego is.

 

Also, is the self image what we think others see us as or is it how we see ourselves?

Only the ego needs validation. The ego is who you think you are. Self image is how you see yourself. The ego is an amazing concept, you should do some research on it. 

[Toasty]

1 hour ago, Water said:

Only the ego needs validation. The ego is who you think you are. Self image is how you see yourself. The ego is an amazing concept, you should do some research on it. 

I listen to the id, ego and superego. The way i understand the ego is that it is you conscious mind. Id is your primitive instincts. The super ego are the thought doing the self judgement. Am i on the right track?

[abrakamowse]

@Toasty , think about were do you get your opinions. Are they really yours or do you get them from people you talk, your mother, your experiences with the world... is it you? What are your opinions? Your identification with the body, your thoughts, your mind, is that you? Or there's something more?

Are you just a collection of ideas taken from others or experiences, is that what define your real self? or is something we think is us?

[Toasty]

I think they are mostly external factors and i definitely have limiting beliefs that I'm slowing weeding out. To do that i beleive i need a good understanding of the ego as i though it to be the same as the self image. If you have a good self image you should have few limiting beliefs. 

[SpiritualGangsta]

@Toasty are you saying you have a good self image, because you have limiting beliefs?

[Toasty]

15 hours ago, SpiritualGangsta said:

@Toasty are you saying you have a good self image, because you have limiting beliefs?

No,  the opposite. A good self image has no limiting beliefs

[SpiritualGangsta]

On 2/19/2016 at 10:35 AM, Toasty said:

I think they are mostly external factors and i definitely have limiting beliefs that I'm slowing weeding out. To do that i beleive i need a good understanding of the ego as i though it to be the same as the self image. If you have a good self image you should have few limiting beliefs. 

@Toasty so basically you are saying you are a work in progress and not a member of the illuminati?

[Toasty]

@SpiritualGangsta i think we all a work in progress however I've only just started my journey.  Still have alot to learn