On Spontaneity

[Christos]

I find that the inability to be spontaneous and simply act when there is no time to come up with a proper plan is a major handbrake when it comes to personal development. Sure, taking a detailed approach to your major endeavors is great, but life tends to always catch you off-guard at something. How many times do you catch yourself needing to make some decision on the spot and you end up doing nothing or taking the path of least resistance? (eg. whether to take a conflict to your boss or let it slide)

And to those that say "Do the most emotionally demanding thing either way and you will get used to it" or "Fake it till you make it", I don't think that you can become something (a grounded spontaneous person) by imitating it (always forcing yourself to do the thing that you have the most resistance to) because that starts a spiral of neuroticism that will, at some point, get the best of you. The change that needs to happen is internal, but I'm not sure what it is. So, how do you take your hands off the tiller and not get in your own way in situations that call for quick action?

[Visitor]

Have faith that you are and will be okay regardless of what goes down.

Faith destroys the fear of doubt.

[Vladimir]

Develop emotional mastery, see every difficult situation that would trigger you as an opportunity to NOT react. All the negativity in our lives spawns from neurotic reactive behavior, so become less reactive. If some situations are too difficult, start by lowering the difficulty level, think of yourself as a character in a video game, you don't start nailing the final boss without acquiring a lot of experience and skills first You could start with your own memories of the past which trigger certain negative emotions and start leveling up from there, good luck!