I Don't Feel Love. How To Love?

[Mert]

The more I became conscious the more I realise that I nearly feel love and this is so freaking frustrating. I'm extremely critical of everybody all the time. Especially myself. I see everybody as robots with no free will. My thoughts are like "Oh people love each other because of their genetics and environment and etc." and even though that's true, that's not a reason to love them. I think I'm ignoring my human side. I can't remember what loving somebody very deeply feels like. Which is very sad because I was a very happy loving child but now I'm a critical neurotic fuck. So my question is how to love? Like really. What I've realized is that I've been hollow inside for years. I've realised this recently and somedays I just cry. I want to be like a child again. Now some of you can argue that all love is egoic relative to the unconditional love but we are not fucking enlightened here okay. I'm talking about a regular deep authentic love. Maybe my heart chakra is closed? . What I've find helpful is listening to some melancholic and nostalgic music every night to bring back my childhood memories. Watching some love movies maybe. Do you guys have any recommendations on how to practise love. How do I connect with my heart and stop being so neurotic. 

[Shanmugam]

@Mert First of all, what practice did you actually do, to become more conscious? I suspect you engaged in a lot of thinking...

But here are my suggestions... Smoke some weed if possible and think about your first crush or first love. Your mind should overflow with love. I think that may put you back on track..

Look at some old photo albums in which you were together with your close friends or loved ones.. 

Listen to some songs that provoke feelings..

Here is a love poem I wrote.. Try to feel it when you read each line:

The day when I first set my eyes on you, 
Each of your eyes looked like a drop of dew. 
Showing a fear in those dark round pupils  
And a look as sharp as tall church steeples! 
  
You began to speak but it was so rare; 
Sometimes all that came from your mouth is air 
Even if you spoke it was soft and mild, 
With voice that sounded like a little child! 
  
I had always wished if there was a clue 
To find out what locked your lips with a glue 
And I always wanted to ask you why 
you were so calm, gentle, reserved and shy! 
  
Slowly you gathered the courage to smile; 
But still you were far like a lonely isle; 
Shortly you began to laugh and giggle; 
Not once did you shout, argue or niggle! 
  
Like a wide, calm sea with turquoise waters 
Or a big lake with fishes and yachters, 
Your glance was enticing, mystic and deep 
Beyond which loads of secrets were asleep! 
  
Sometimes I wonder why lilies don't speak 
And marvel at the daisies near a creek, 
Inquiring why they don't utter a phrase; 
Like you, they just remain silent and gaze! 

Edited July 26, 2017 by Shanmugam

[ajasatya]

@Mert you gotta do things that i'm sure you don't like yet. don't try to love others. first of all, you gotta love yourself. take good care of yourself. learn how to enjoy life. that's how i see the first commandment (love God above all).

here are some practical tips on how to practice self love.

[Mert]

@Shanmugam

51 minutes ago, Shanmugam said:

@Mert First of all, what practice did you actually do, to become more conscious?

I'm doing a lot of meditation and it makes sense because I know that this is a part of the purification process. Thanks for the poem btw. It was beautiful

Edited July 26, 2017 by Mert

[Mert]

@ajasatya Yes, I recognize that a lot of the hate I feel towars other people is actually caused by self-hate. Thanks for the advice. I will do all of those.

[Dodo]

@Mert I am in a similar boat. Watched this video today in the morning (it found me) 

This whole video is love

[Arkandeus]

you are growing sensitive to your lack of love, you are desiring to be more loving.....see how loving that is!
sensitivity, desire to give and experience more love, these are signs of love growing!

don't identify with your lack of love, you are the one that is aware of your lack of love, you are conscious of your identity as a being of love and yet you see that you are not as loving as you are. 

your intent and consciousness is already in the right place, it takes time for your reality to catch up, you are finally starting to see yourself as a loving person, give reality the time to change, it will very gradually; 

 

reality follows your consciousness, you are on the right path, keep leading

 

Edited July 26, 2017 by Arkandeus

[Natasha]

6 hours ago, Mert said:

So my question is how to love? 

Real love is not conceptual at all, it is rooted in Being. As long as you believe your mind, you won't know how to love.  

[Nahm]

sit and observe a rock.    wait.   focus.   wait.   focus.   

[WelcometoReality]

@Mert The love is always there. You just need to listen. This is where the mind wants to ask "how do I listen?". But it can never listen. All it does is produce noise and one always listen to that noise because it is the loudest.

I started to listen to bhajans which a menber here posted to me. The mind was really critical to that "cult like" expression of love but it really did wonders to me.

 

[ZenBlue]

To be able to love others, you must first learn to love yourself. Have compassion for yourself and know that you alone are enough. You are worthy of love and valuable just for being alive. Judging and criticizing others is a projection of how much you judge and criticize yourself constantly. Change the language you speak to yourself. Start talking to yourself in a loving way and show kindness to yourself.

I would suggest repeating this mantra to yourself every single day: I am enough