Romantic Relationships And Enlightenment

[Viking]

I understand I think the concept of zen devil and I realized (kinda) living "normal" life is the thing to do while doing enlightenment work. One thing I dont understand is romantic relationships, because their whole purpose is to have egoic stuff like pleasure, family etc. If truly there is no need to an enlightened person of mundane feelings, why would he waste tons of hours for that? hours that could go toward his life purpose, changing the world and further developing himself?

p.s- sorry if its a common topic

edit- im not sure if its a bad question please note so if it is and why it is so and i will try not to post similar questions

Edited July 23, 2017 by Ilya

[Natasha]

@Ilya I would say companionship with another form is something an enlightened would still appreciate. There would be a measure of (healthy) detachment in a relationship and their love and acceptance towards each other would be unconditional. They would relate from a Being perception (vs deficiency perception). Examples of enlightened couples - Eckhart Tolle and Kim Eng, Adyashanti and Mukti, Rupert Spira and Ellen Emmet, etc.  

[Nahm]

@Ilya Let your definitions change. Romantic relationships are cocreating experiences of reunion of the deeper one. That's what all the love's about. Like Leo said on the other post, enlightenment first love second. The less two people know themselves, the more of a roller coaster a relationship will be. Paradoxically, the faster they learn what they aren't. With a little unified direction, couples can greatly aid in each other's personal practices with encouragement, sharing insights, having epiphanies together, etc. 

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, Ilya said:

because their whole purpose is to have egoic stuff like pleasure.... why would he waste tons of hours for that?

With that attitude, of course relationships can't fit into the picture.

You'll have to change your entire paradigm of what relationships are for.

[elias]

12 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You'll have to change your entire paradigm of what relationships are for

I was also thinking and contemplation about relationships

 

how would you characterize and describe relationships?

what are relationships for you?

 

or perhaps you want to implement or cover this topic in a video 

 

I honour your work! thank you

and I know to appreciate your work even more.

[Prabhaker]

@Ilya

Relationship is a structure, and love is unstructured. So love relates, certainly, but never becomes a relationship. Love is a moment-to-moment process. Remember it. Love is a state of your being, not a relationship. There are loving people and there are unloving people. Unloving people pretend to be loving through the relationship. Loving people need not have any relationship – love is enough.

“Be a loving person rather than in a love relationship – because relationships happen one day and disappear another day. They are flowers; in the morning they bloom, by the evening they are gone.

“You be a loving person.

“But people find it very difficult to be a loving person, so they create a relationship – and befool that way that ‘Now I am a loving person because I am in a relationship.’ And the relationship may be just one of monopoly, possessiveness, exclusiveness.

“Relationship may be just out of fear, may not have anything to do with love. Relationship may be just a kind of security – financial or something else. The relationship is needed only because love is not there. Relationship is a substitute.

“Become alert! Relationship destroys love, destroys the very possibility of its birth.”

Osho, Walk Without Feet, Fly Without Wings and Think Without Mind, Talk #8

[Principium Nexus]

@Ilya You can only change the world by loving the things you do. And if you think a relationship is egoic then you certainly dont do it out of love