Little Little Taste Of Infinity / Enlightenment?

[nahtanoj]

I've been meditating for the last 6 months just 20 to 30 minutes and almost regularly but not every day, some days I Meditate 1 hour after work, I would say I meditate 4 or 5 days a week. It's been a crazy ride for me. Some days I'm sleepy other days my monkey mind doesn't shut up for one second.

In the past month I've been feeling deep in my meditation, but after one good meditation it comes a crazy day meditation and I know it is normal but still disappointing.

Well just now I was meditating and I just feel like I was encapsulated in my body.

After following my breath I started to become aware of my heart beat and something going thru my back like an artery or something.

After that I feel like I don't have hands or body just an empty space,  I felt like I was floating and the wall in front of me does not exist (my eyes were closed),  I felt this for couple of minutes. When I (ego) notice this my monkey mind just started to trow the most ridiculous thoughts I get decentralized felt fear and my eyes just opened abruptly.

The thing is that this was one of my best meditations. But I think I could be deluded by the fact that I have all this knowledge of what I could expect from this work. How I know it wasn't a delusion of the ego? I also feel like it is too fast to be feeling little glimpses of infinity. 

[Arkandeus]

congratz on getting such a special and mystique experience. 
to the point where you partly dissolved your ego, it showed its fear to you, it showed that it's getting threatened

but I'd rather take another stance on this,rather then dissolve the ego you can say you can heal it, you can absolve it of functions
it doesn't need to uphold anymore, you can put it in its rightful place, as a smaller healthy functioning part of you. 

listen to the fears of your ego, you are the one fearing but you are also the one that is not fearing, the one that is listening to the fear. 

you are certainly not deluded, this is legit the sort of experiences you should naturally have as you progress through enlightenment!
you're getting in touch with the essence of your being, finally glimpsing above the bullshit of modern human life into cosmic realms, you're literally looking beyond this ''world'' our ego's constructed

there's only you, here and now, there's no world, which is what you tasted

Edited July 23, 2017 by Arkandeus

[nahtanoj]

@Arkandeus Thanks! That is a good advice! I felt a lot of fear, maybe if I treat my ego in a good way and told him that I'm healing it maybe I'm not going to feel fear. At first I saw the thoughts and let them go easily like watching them from far away but after a while my mind started to get scared.  I started to see weird figures in my mind eye and getting random thoughts of things that don't even have sense.