I Know How To Do This, So Why Don't I?

[alyra]

I have a lot of knowledge and experience with thinking about decision-making, and in taking actions that I wanna and in being the person I want to be. 

 

so why don't I??? the only thing that remains is to just do it. and I just don't. 

 

any advice? I know it is sorta on the open ended side but... anything you think can help, can help. 

[egoeimai]

Because for some reason you don't wanna do it. Maybe you are afraid of it when it comes,maybe your life will change and you will lose your comforting habits.or maybe you're not fed up with it yet. Maybe you can live without it. Maybe it's okay without it. Who knows. Or maybe you don't have a good reason to do it yet. 

[BjarkeT]

These videos might be relevant  

 

[Markus]

You're comfy where you are. You'd rather keep the status quo than make an effort to do things different. I've had a long history with this problem. You have to start babystepping change and commit fully. Otherwise you're gonna get nowhere in years - I know.

[alyra]

4 hours ago, egoeimai said:

Because for some reason you don't wanna do it.

hm, maybe I am getting distracted. I do not really understand everyone's obsessions with wanting  to me, wanting is a combination of thinking about a thing, deciding something, or taking action. I would not call the impulses that I let compell me to engage in low-consiousness work wanting... it just isn't imo. but - maybe that is the reason I don't "wanna" do it. I should work on that with more priority. 

[alyra]

2 hours ago, Markus said:

You'd rather keep the status quo

ooh, ooh, this makes me think! thank you. 

yeah, babysteps hah, that is the current plan and has been for a while. I guess I am getting impatient for results, and not seeing what progress I have made, and not focusing on the progress at-hand to make. 

 

@BjarkeT thanks for the referral I'll give em a watch this weekend. 

[BjarkeT]

@alyra you are welcome i hope you can use it

[Joseph Maynor]

Start to study enlightenment.

[Girzo]

Choose and focus on one habit that you feel like is going to make a biggest change in your life right now and focus solely on that. Other changes will start to come after that.

For example, I started exercising. Then for your exercising to have a positive effect you need a proper diet and a lot of sleep, so two more habits are emerging on your path at their own. Then when you have a solid foundation, i.e you exercise daily, you can choose to start having a meditataion before or after training. That's like 3 extra good habits coming from incorporating just one.

 

[heisenburger]

@alyra yes I can solve this entirely!  Seriously I have an exact way to solve this for you perfectly I just took a course on this.

 

Here's how:

If if you don't do an action there's a subconscious attachment or aversion to it. Do this process it will make you take the right action automatically and it will be fun. I did this on excercise I was like uhhh I don't want to do it but after this process I did it easily as easy as it was to sit and do nothing.

 

1: ask what is an attachment I have to doing ____

 

 

 

2: Ask does that attachment come from wanting approval control or  security?

 

3: Ask Since I don't have the approval control or security I want anyway could I let go of wanting it just for a second?

( note: if your mind tricks you into saying if I don't want it I can't have it don't believe it.

if you let go of wanting it you'll have it, you can't want something and have it at the same time  and you can only have and not want or want and not have, let go of wanting the deeper want and you can have it, you'll start to take action towards it)

 

4:

Ask what is an aversion I have to doing ____

 

5: 

Ask does that aversion come from wanting approval control or security?

 

6:

ask since I don't have the think want that is fueling my aversion anyway could I let go just for a second if wanting it so I can have it?

 

Repeat 1-6 until you are completely fine whether or not you take the action and the action will automatically be done.

 

Heres an example dialogue I did on myself. 

My problem was not doing visualisation to make myself funnier.

 

1: my attachment to visualisation is if I visualise humor it will make me funnier.

 

2: that attachment comes from wanting approval because I want to be funny to get approval.

 

3: I could let go of wanting approval because I don't have it now anyway, so why not let go of wanting approval

 

4: An aversion I have to visualisation is I don't want to do it it feels like work I'd rather watch YouTube or listen to music instead I feel lazy.

 

5: this aversion comes from wanting control, because I want to change that I'm not visualising so my humor can change and I can benefit from visualisation.

 

6: I could let go of wanting control because I don't have it anyway, right now I'm just sitting there not don't what I want so there's no point wanting control I already don't have it. 

Once I let go of just these two aversions since I didn't want to control that I visualised there was no resistance and I stopped YouTube and started doing it automatically, also letting go of wanting approval for being funny meant I no lover cared whether people don't laugh at my jokes so I now tell jokes more and thus am funnier since I don't hold back my humor. 

 

See how it works? 

 

Let go of all atachments and aversions to what you want and the best possible outcome will come out. 

 

Do this process on the action you have and it will automatically  be easy for you to do what you want. 

 

SERIOUSLY I HIGHLY RECCOMED DOING THIS, if you ignore this excercise you've maybe just given up maybe your only opportunity to make this effortless, and will have to brute force it.

 

If you feel like after reading this 'that's nice but I don't want to do this excercise' it means there's an aversion to it, maybe you expect the excercise will be boring which comes from wanting to control how you feel by doing something fun. 

This can be fun, seriously give it a try

 

You can ask me any questions about it also :)? 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 28, 2017 by heisenburger

[TeamBills]

@alyra I struggle with this too. I am better than before. Not being responsible and not doing what you know you should be doing very well might be the most painful thing someone can do if it is done for years upon years. I mean, it is apples and oranges to try to compare situations like this because they are 2 completely different things, but I will try my best.

It is hell to lose someone you love to death, but you know there was nothing you could do about it. You know you have full control over not doing what you are supposed to be doing in your life. You have to live with the self hatred of living in your body after you make those decisions. Again it is apples and oranges and 2 completely different things, but that is the best way I can explain it. That pain doesn't really come until after years and years of not doing what you are supposed to be doing.

It is less painful to do the thing(s) that you know you are supposed to be doing, even if you desperately don't want to do them, than not doing them at all and dealing with the effects that creates in your life.

You asked why you don't do the things you are supposed to be doing. I don't know that answer. I ask myself the same thing. Maybe there isn't an answer. I'm just trying to help you by telling you what the end result probably will be if you don't do these things. Maybe that will help you get your ass into gear.

[alyra]

@heisenburger  what is the name of that method? where did you find it?

[Consept]

When you do something new and potentially, at least to you, life changing like moving to a different city, starting a new career path etc, your brain automatically gives resistance. You have to remember your brain is pretty indifferent to the method but its number 1 priority is to keep you safe, so if up until now youve just had a non-challenging easy job, youre safe, but to question that and go in another direction results in fear because to your brain youre taking a risk that could potentially result in something bad, just because its a step into the unknown.

So there is no avoidance of this fear, if you choose to do something new it will be brought up within you. What we tend to do to combat this on the level of mind and logic is we assume that because the fear is there we're not ready, so we do what you could call positive procrastination, where we study everything there is to know about what we want to do in the hope that it would reduce the anxiety we feel and we can then take action. Obviously as you know this doesnt work at all, ive done it myself before and i know people whos whole life is basically preparing to take action on something they really want to do. 

So the problem with this is not only does it delay how long it takes to get started but also in a lot of cases the only way to really learn and become an expert on something is to just do it. If you want to be good at a video game theres no point in just reading the strategy guide, you have to actually play the game. Thats not to say some theory wont help, it will but it has to be balanced with action. 

The trouble with this whole enlightenment thing is that its the ultimate procrastination, if you are waiting til that happens then your missing the whole point of it. Really you have to live your life now, there is no future salvation, however you feel now with all your doubts, fears and whatever else you have to embrace them and do whatever you feel you need to do. Any avoidance or attempt to fight them will just be taking time that you could be working on what you need to be.

[Arkandeus]

cultivate consciousness..there are infinite possibilities and you are all aware of them. 
you've always known what can be done, everything that can be done. 

 

let go of knowledge, because you know all knowledge, then can you take a look at the real you, being is something entirely different then knowing. 
 

very fast you will start to respect people for who they are, I may know what it takes to be a musician, to be in a band, but I'm not able to be that, so I respect people who can be that, I know how to jog, I know how to swim,but I'm not the one doing those things,I respect people who are those things. 

same with people who clean the streets, it seems simple but is it?I couldn't deal with cleaning the streets for a living for my entire life,I just feel it's not for me, so I respect those people who have been cleaning the streets for years, not because cleaning a street is difficult, but your life being about that is something else. 

you start to enter a new vision of life when you realize knowing how to do something has nothing to do with actually doing it and being about it.  i

it's the illusion of the mind fading, it starts becoming obvious that you know nothing about the world really, knowing is a concept, and that in itself is something, concepts are what they are, but they are not reality. 

I may ''know'' what a chef in a restaurant does in concept, but I don't have a single clue what it's like to be a chef. 
I may ''know'' in concept what a singer does, but I don't have a clue what it's like to be a singer. 
slowly as you realize that your knowledge has nothing to do with what's actually going on in reality, will that sense of wonder and awe of life come back to you. 

life feels mundane to many people because they think they know the world,they know how things work
that's the illusion,you don't have a clue what's going on except for what you're actually being right now, when you realize you don't have a clue does life become wonderful again

 

the highest knowledge, is to know that you don't know, 
you don't have a clue, you're surrendered to life, surrendered to this stream
to find out the stream is drifting you exactly where you want to go
the knowledge of the unknown

Edited August 4, 2017 by Arkandeus

[heisenburger]

@alyra

https://www.amazon.com/Sedona-Method-Happiness-Emotional-Well-Being/dp/0971933413

Or the YouTube channel

 

 

[egoeimai]

@alyra because you have no good reason to do it.. Find that GOOD REASON. 

[Joseph Maynor]

Maybe these tips will help you.  Don't feel bad, I struggled with this until very recently.  Now I am excited to do my life-purpose actions everyday.  That's your ticket-out.  But it takes quite a lot of personal development work to achieve that.  Start the process.  Success doesn't happen by accident!  

1.  You have misplaced priorities.  Get all your juices flowing in the right direction and get stoked to take the actions you wanna be taking by doing some life-purpose work, and work on getting excited to take actions that will REALLY MASSIVELY improve your life as your tasks and days open and close.  Aim to turn your work into play.  That's how you'll take massive action without it being grindy.  The Holy Grail of life is when your life-purpose implementation work becomes fun.  Your life will then take off like a rocket.

2.  You have internal resistance.  You need to dissolve that internal resistance.  There are a lot of nice personal development tools for this.  Anti-procrastination tools like 5-minute rule, strategizing your day, task-binder, visualizing starting tasks, Solera Method.  Get your daily-routines wired.  You're gonna suck at personal development until you have powerful daily-routines that work your actions you need to implement your dream-life and emotional-mastery.  Study enlightenment.  Do roles-work and shadow-work.  Basically you've got a lot of limiting-beliefs and homeostasis going on in there that you gotta unclog and dislodge.  And you can!  But realize that emotional-mastery work has gotta be a side-goal that you need to be working on while you crystallize your forces and passion around your life-purpose work.  

3.  Create a powerful morning-routine where you meditate, read your mission-statement, eat a healthy breakfast, and visualize your day.  I find that by visualizing your day in advance you're kind of buying-in or agreeing on what you are gonna do.  The ego doesn't like to be put-upon, so if you let it know in advance what you plan to do, it tends to curl-up like a lazy dog and half-falls asleep for ya.

4.  Eliminate time-wasting distractions.  You gotta ruthlessly gut these from your life.  They are killing your dream-life.  And they are causing, in part, your misplaced priorities.  Everything you do -- everything -- should be in service of your life-purpose or emotional-mastery work.  Don't make your life harder than it needs to be.  Focus only on the relevant task-at-hand.  Cultivate focus.  Without focus you can't get anything done and you aren't gonna see any massive results.  Nothin's free.  If you want a dream-life YOU gotta earn it, every single penny.

Edited August 15, 2017 by Joseph Maynor