Any Tips?

[Principium Nexus]

In exactly one week I will be flying from Amsterdam to Indonesia to finally meet the girl I have been dating and talking to for approximately half a year. This is the largest step I have ever taken to completely step out of my comfortzone. So I know here very well now from talking almost dayly, but I am still nervous how things will play out in person. I do have good faith and know that there is no doing wrong. Still I wonder if you guys have any good tips? Even if it's the usual advice. I'm glad to have any response.

 

[poimandres]

Have fun on the trip! Have ZERO expectations.

[Max_V]

Ah you are from the netherlands, cool!

Succes man!

[sheenp24]

Go far it man! This step is definitely necessary for progression! Just good out there and have fun and I definitely agree with @poimandres have no expectations!

[egoeimai]

Just be happy for whatever happens in the end. Don't be miserable if it doesn't work out. It's not the end of the world. All that matters is you. Be always positive and optimistic,it's not bad to expect something good and have dreams but if things don't go as expected be well with that. Have fun. 

[Principium Nexus]

@egoeimai Thanks for your advice

Oh and congratz on your 1440th post, maybe sounds weird but 144 is a very special number regarding to cycles in nature. 

[QandC]

Good luck. I did the same thing and it worked out well. Just make sure you appreciate the time together, because LDR can be difficult 

[Spiral]

On 2017-07-21 at 9:21 PM, Principium Nexus said:

 Even if it's the usual advice. I'm glad to have any response.

Don't eat street food or milk products the first thing you do, completely different bacteria down there. As for the girl well I suppose they are a bit more conservative, so it can be preferable to avoid lots of physical contact in public.

[Principium Nexus]

@QandC Yeah LDR is pretty hard, especially because you cannot be physically there if someone is sad or has a great experience that they want to share with you. Good to hear it work out for you

[Dogsbestfriend]

Be patient and don't put too much pressure on yourself, other than that your natural desire to know each other in person should carry you through the initial awkwardness if there is any. Veel geluk!

[Visitor]

@Principium Nexus Be honest, even if you fear losing the relationship.

I know that maybe is not what you wanted to read. But I am just being honest. 

[Principium Nexus]

Everybody thanks for the tips, I think they will find good use. Today I will fly, so everybody have a nice holiday. I'll back back in 2 weeks

 

[Max_V]

@Principium Nexus Good luck!!

[ajasatya]

@Principium Nexus if you feel joy, embrace joy. if you feel sadness, embrace sadness. running away is HELL. everything else is HEAVEN.

[Annie]

@Principium Nexus Have a blast and enjoy every second of this life changing experience!

[Principium Nexus]

Update: It has been going far better than expected, we still have some days left but I enjoyed every moment. When I'm back ill write more

[Max_V]

@Principium Nexus Awesome, glad to hear that!

[Principium Nexus]

I promised to write something after being back from holiday. Hmm where to start?

So to recap, during the past several months I learned to know this girl, one who turned out to be even more special in my life than I could ever imagine. We first met on this website where you can talk to complete strangers, at that time I was very eager to learn more about what other people's interests are, what they think of the world, what they do, to better learn who I was and the world around me. What I found was that most people are not able to have a decent conversation or are willing to take some time to learn from other people. Still between all the trolls and perverts there are some people who I had a really great conversation with and even have some contact with those from time to time.

However this post is dedicated to the girl I happened to fall in love with over the past 5/6 months and eventually took the step to travel half the world to go on holiday with her . I have always been careful to avoid any possible scams or some sort of catfish scenario's and luckily none of those are part of my journey. During this time until now I have always seen how important trust and being open about anything that is on your mind is crucial in completely opening up, breaking any boundaries and pushing personal comfort zones with care and feeling.

During the time I first met her I was going through a very tough time, strong social anxiety, got out of university because it was to overwhelming and couldn't cope with all these feelings about where my life was leading to. I would say these are the darkest moments of my life and it was hard to see any light at all in the future. Somehow I'm very thankful for these phases, because without these I wouldn't be where I am now. I see depression as a forced psychological state deep from within the unconscious mind, that something, somewhere you have to fix/change the way you approach life. Some people will never manage to find out what their problem is or are to afraid to look within and anti-depressants can be a short-term fix, only covering up what is still fundamentally flawed. Luckily, I was getting tired of this refrained manner of acting and started to learn as much as I could.

I wanted to know it all, learn why I am me, why the world is doing what it is, understand the human construct of mind, the game of psychology, preconceived roles, what generates joy, good/euphoric/sexual feelings by the way we speak or touch. What is timing, rhythm and feeling? How do we dynamically exchange this in any conversation or act. That's where I was after at when I opened this chat talking to complete strangers. I wanted to know the common thinking, how identities of people form, why, how and where.

She was also having quite a hard time at that moment, being diagnosed with "borderline/bipolar illness" and we both helped each other a lot during these times. Sharing joy for silly things, talking about religion, philosophical things, human behavior, gender roles and much more. I'm so grateful to have found someone who is open to talk about anything, who I can trust with all my heart and who I can call my soulmate.

Do I think any a soulmate or the one exists? No, absolutely not, but I willing to make this work with any means and that's the mindset you got to have. You can only receive what you give, if you or your (future) partner is not able to fully go for something eventually then this will be limiting and cause some sort of boundary (fear). In the beginning I was kind of afraid, things began to click and I was falling in love. I was afraid that I might not be able to give or promise that I could be eventually be there for her. This digital means of communication was after all so easy and with the severe anxiety I experienced I didn't know if she could ever handle that I couldn't do it. She was still quite emotionally unbalanced, with mood swings and sometimes some suicidal thoughts because of her situation*. Somehow I made a vow, if I could prove that I could love this girl unconditionally, throw away all my doubts and prove the universe that true love exists. Ever since my doubts have significantly decreased. I know that if I can be there for her and she for me, that anything else doesn't matter.

We started to plan a holiday. At first we wanted to go to turkey, but because there is some political conflict we decided to go to Thailand. It was closer to her country and I didn't really care too much about my long flight or expenses. At first I was quite nervous, this imaginary idea/digital world of communication would finally materialize and it felt so exciting/dream-like and absurd.

I took my flight from Brussels to Bangkok, which was my first time ever flying solo (to the other side of the world basically) and took the taxi to the domestic airport where she would arrive. After long time waiting, there was a long immigration queue for her I saw her for the first time . I was kind of speechless and tired (8 hours of waiting) but felt so relieved. It didn't really felt strange to me because I had been talking to her so much, still it felt so unreal . We decided to go to the hotel and get some rest after long time of travel (for me). Next several days we explored Bangkok, temples, boat tour, general sight seeing. It was fun and to cool to see all this culture, but I found the city pretty busy. After Bangkok we fly to Phuket, some great beaches, another boat tour and visiting islands. Further more we visited, Phi phi, Krabi and Kuala Lumpur. They have some amazing thai massages there, if you ever go there, check them out! We had a great time and it went even better than expected. I think out bond has become even stronger now and we will be going on holiday again next summer. This still is a long distant relationship, but we don't really care, we stay in good touch, share a lot and are very happy to have found each other.

I hope this might be motivational for some, help you, as it did for me.

Quote

Everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear

Everyone seeking a relation, being in a relation. Remember to understand one another, talk about trust and the fears one has, take a leap of faith and there result unimaginable.

Happy actualizing, break those boundaries downnnn!!!!

Principium Nexus  

[Max_V]

@Principium Nexus Amazing story, I'm very happy for you!