Does Addiction Contribute To Monkey Mind?

[MiracleMan]

Thoughts on this topic?  Im trying to drop a lot of addictions, trying to limit the amount of stimulation my brain receives.  At this point i wake up everday with music loops, and its constant throughout the day.  I think this is the reason I'm so tired all the time even when I get plenty of sleep, because I'm using so much energy on these loops.  I work out 3x a week, but I want to start doing yoga again too.  I'm aware that things were much worse 4 or 5 weeks ago if you try finding my post history, I still have some depressive episodes but they are much shorter and more manageable.  I haven't had much progress on the music loops and otherwise just a very busy brain.  I'm weening my addictions one by one, and it's been hell really, my body doesn't like it and I've been in a lot of pain and feeling much stress.  I fall asleep very easily during my vipasanna meditation.  If I clear out my addictions, stick to my practice, and keep doing physical exercise l, I'm hoping my brain will be a bit quieter.  If I had to describe it like an ocean, it's like a choppy sea with thunder storms, a lot of noise and wind. 

[ajasatya]

1 hour ago, MiracleMan said:

Does Addiction Contribute To Monkey Mind?

addiction is a consequence of the untrained mind.

the root cause of all addictions is the lack of connection with the present moment. so people try to feed that connection with something else like cigars, alcohol, sex, money, fame, guilt etc.

[MiracleMan]

6 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

addiction is a consequence of the untrained mind.

the root cause of all addictions is the lack of connection with the present moment. so people try to feed that connection with something else like cigars, alcohol, sex, money, fame, guilt etc.

But how do we overcome habit energy once it takes root, when its been running with it for so many years?  Why does the Body actually believe these substances sustain my well being?  This is a perfect example of duality, I know in my heart that this harms me greatly, but another part of me is holding on so tightly to the behaviors that only bring temporary relief and contribute to my confusion, monkey mind, and countless other forms of suffering.

Edited July 21, 2017 by MiracleMan

[ajasatya]

14 minutes ago, MiracleMan said:

But how do we overcome habit energy once it takes root, when its been running with it for so many years?  Why does the Body actually believe these substances sustain my well being?

slow down. freedom is not easy but it's worth it.

the body is not mistaken. it's simply doing its job. the heart beats and feeds the cells etc.

your weakness is in the mind. you've grown up in an ignorant society that could not offer you what a human being really needs, which is spiritual health. now it's your job to be responsible for yourself. it's time to grow up in a different direction.

whenever you feel an urge to come back to an old destructive pattern, stop everything. seriously, stop completely. watch your breath and be present. it is not easy. i've been where you are and i know it. face your resistance to the present moment and let it be. notice how reality functions perfectly even if you simply stay still. nothing will go wrong. you can see it for yourself.

[MiracleMan]

1 hour ago, ajasatya said:

slow down. freedom is not easy but it's worth it.

the body is not mistaken. it's simply doing its job. the heart beats and feeds the cells etc.

your weakness is in the mind. you've grown up in an ignorant society that could not offer you what a human being really needs, which is spiritual health. now it's your job to be responsible for yourself. it's time to grow up in a different direction.

whenever you feel an urge to come back to an old destructive pattern, stop everything. seriously, stop completely. watch your breath and be present. it is not easy. i've been where you are and i know it. face your resistance to the present moment and let it be. notice how reality functions perfectly even if you simply stay still. nothing will go wrong. you can see it for yourself.

I was listening to Matt Kahn talk about this very thing, relaxation.  I get to this place time and time again, I go through a cycle of breaking down and when i feel like I have an ounce of freedom, boredom strikes.  It sounds silly doesn't It?  Like boredom is this terrible thing.  But when I find myself bored after the stages of breaking down my habit energy, I feel like I'm dying, like something is horribly wrong here, and my body and mind are going crazy.  I can't break through this barrier of boredom, it's like I need to fill the gap with something, I feel like in these moments all my demons, all my pain, all my cravings just attack me and beat me into submission until I finally gave in.  A few nights ago I was in the shower and the craving to act out bombarded me over and over again but I didn't move, I just let it hit me over and over, I broke down and sobbed, there was nothing else I could do, either be in absolute pain and agony or use again.  I'm afraid because using is so easy, and facing that agony is so hard, and I know that it's coming after me again soon.  

[ajasatya]

44 minutes ago, MiracleMan said:

I feel like in these moments all my demons, all my pain, all my cravings just attack me and beat me into submission until I finally gave in.  A few nights ago I was in the shower and the craving to act out bombarded me over and over again but I didn't move, I just let it hit me over and over, I broke down and sobbed, there was nothing else I could do

let it eat you completely then. don't avoid these experiences. these moments of absolute pain/honesty are extremely rare. you're being blessed.

i am saying these words because i know what you're talking about. we're both very very very lucky guys.

sit quietly and summon boredom. you need to investigate the very root cause of your suffering. don't read about it. don't watch youtube videos. external help won't work. all i can do is try to inspire you to have enough courage to face silence.

if you manage to get used to silence and transform boredom into freedom, you'll become invulnerable.

[Nahm]

@MiracleMan I suffered from "manic depression" for a while, a long time ago. I use the quotes because what I actually suffered from was not meditating, so I had almost no focus and my thoughts wandered aimlessly in a world of elusive & overwhelming stimulation.  Have you went a month or two of daily meditation & 24/7 breathing awareness? That is what work for me. Pills, therapy, eating like a pig - none of that helped me. It made it worse. I hope you get back to 100! Depression sucks! You have a community here for you. 

[Richard Alpert]

there is part 2 also.

[ZX_man]

@Richard Alpert I literally just stumbled upon & watched these two videos yesterday. They completely incapsulated me- I could not recommend them more. I am also in the middle of reading Hawkins book on surrender. His demeanor during lecture kinda reminded me of Alan Watts, I loved it. Just so much unconditional joy it's really inspiring.

[MiracleMan]

On 7/21/2017 at 11:00 PM, Nahm said:

@MiracleMan I suffered from "manic depression" for a while, a long time ago. I use the quotes because what I actually suffered from was not meditating, so I had almost no focus and my thoughts wandered aimlessly in a world of elusive & overwhelming stimulation.  Have you went a month or two of daily meditation & 24/7 breathing awareness? That is what work for me. Pills, therapy, eating like a pig - none of that helped me. It made it worse. I hope you get back to 100! Depression sucks! You have a community here for you. 

I would be in bad shape if I hadn't established a routine.  I want to do more than I'm doing now but yes, I'm doing vipasanna everyday.  Right now I'm recommitting to self love and compassion.  Objectively I've gotten better but I don't feel amazing, I dont feel good at all.  One thing I realized I'm doing is focusing on the negative, so no matter what occurs, I'm still in an abusive thought cycle because I'm always trying to correct what's wrong instead of praising myself for the 90% of my life that is actually going very well.  I'm really good at cheating myself out of joy.  Whenever I feel it come on its like "whoa be careful with that joy, you don't want to handle it too much you might break it and lose it!" 

On 7/21/2017 at 11:00 PM, Nahm said:

@MiracleMan

On 7/22/2017 at 4:10 AM, Richard Alpert said:

there is part 2 also.

Thank you for introducing me to this guy.  Thanks everyone for the amazing advice, truly a gift from the universe.  

[Nahm]

@MiracleMan This is simple, although I know it sure doesn't look simple from where you are now.  Meditate every morning  focusing on your breathing, returning focus to the breathing. Your focus is a muscle. This makes it stronger. After some time, thoughts don't wander anymore.

If you are finding every reason not to meditate, you must sit and breathe and allow it to pass. Learn from it as it passes. 

All Is Well!

❤️

Edited July 24, 2017 by Nahm