I'm Desperate

[Mario]

My family , friends don't appreciate my efforts in self-actualization. They are afraid that this work is going to bring me to loneliness , depression ando so on.. Yesterday my Dad took my wi-fi and if i continue with this work and don't obey to him he's going to beat me up . It's like a piece of me was robbed and I don't know what to do. I was so optimistic about this work. I thought that if i continued i could have a happier life in the long run. I mean , i can continue meditating and i've got still some internet on my phone , but i can't buy books , take notes and learn (or at least i can do it secretely ) . I feel trapped abd very misunderstood , please tellmme something to get out of this mud

 

[General 2]

first, i would advise not to pick your family's negativity on your actions. they are just defending their old ways of living, which is homeostasis. so please don't feel guilty for doing this.

second, please give up the need for approval from others, anybody - family, friends etc. your inner work is your dialog with the nature, not with particular people

third,  maybe you should pretend to give in to your family, like say "Yes dad i won't do this anymore", while working on being more independent, then move out and start refreshed. while we are dependent on others, they have the moral right to show us around...unfortunately the only way is to let go of their control over us

[pluto]

Here are 2 great videos from 2 very wise and spiritually centered individuals that can really help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqr98O8QT3M

 

Edited July 19, 2017 by pluto

[Michael569]

You are getting a lot of awesome insights and that makes them afraid. It is a stuff they don't understand and most likely never will. Pity them and show them love. This non understanding is completely common and everyone who starts to do some consciousness work and change habits sees it sooner or later. As @General 2 said, it is the pendulum of homoeostasis at work. They don't know any better. 

There are things you can do:

• First of all realise that your life is 100% your responsibility and that you CAN get out of this rot you think you are in. 
• Sign up with a local library to research all the books you need. This will also allow you more time for contemplation and generally being by yourself, there is little distraction in library. 
• Meditate outside when the weather allows it. 
• There is an internet that comes in USBs that you plug in to your laptop,look into that, ask your phone provider about it. You can show the middle finger to your dad taking wifi which is pretty lousy move IMO. 
• You can still take notes and study, just add these notebook among your regular school stuff, your parent's won't even notice. 
• I don't know what your age and financial situation is but I'd advise you to look for a job at least temporary and start saving your own money so that you make your decisions and can move on with your life, potentially moving away from your family until they find enough love to support you no matter what. 

Cheers !

[General 2]

indeed, how old are you?

[Visitor]

@Mario most of self-actualization, while at home, requires no wi-fi, no internet, just quiet introspection (without even sitting in an obvious meditative position). Nobody has to know what you are doing.

A lot of self-development in regards to dealing with life situations requires us to do nothing. For example, if you wanted to learn how to be patient, you need to learn how to wait, and what do we do to wait? - we do nothing. The same goes for tolerance, forgiveness, loving, listening, understanding, discovering revelations of own truths. All this in a meditative type states. Be still and accept everything.

Your home environment may be a good place to practice these important life skills.

[Mario]

On 19/7/2017 at 5:39 PM, General 2 said:

indeed, how old are you?

Fifteen. I can't buy anything . Furthermore i wrote another post in relationships where i explain how the situation is evolving