A Critique Of Actualized.org Followers Regarding Social Isolation

[TJ Reeves]

I've received a few messages and seen a few posts regarding consciousness work and social isolation. 

Part of me totally understands the sentiments of those who've found themselves more introverted. I also understand some of the feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Another part of me calls bullshit.

Spiritual work has made me less socially anxious, more understanding, and more connected to my community, as I think that it all goes full circle. 

So, if one does not find themselves more able to hang out alone AND more able to connect to others, something is up. 

I attempted a systematic understanding of what's going on. What results is a critique of some of Actualized.org follower's practices, NOT necessarily Leo. In fact, I think Leo has done a superb job at trying to prevent this issue - people naturally fuck it up.

We can all choose to take responsibility over whatever we'd like - it's best to take responsibility of ourselves.

Extra note: I get that few people will understand what death is like. But that doesn't mean there's no way whatsoever to relate to others. I've had enough experiences with death to 1) know the suffering of others 2) See just how it is that I'm everyone and everything and 3) become a vessel for the universe, an ultimately benevolent force. As a result, I have better relationships than ever. If this isn't immediately obvious to you and everyone around you in your life without having to ask, then you're kidding yourself. 

Edited July 16, 2017 by TJ Reeves

[Joseph Maynor]

@TJ Reeves The issue is spiritual bypassing.  Emerald does a great video on this.  I have been guilty of spiritual bypassing too.  It's a manifestation of the spiritual ego.  And the spiritual ego is still the ego.  The person who is truly enlightened has nothing else to seek.  They've gotten off the teet, so to speak.  Intellectual masturbation is an addiction and a manifestation of ego.  And a huge trap.  

Enlightenment is about being, not thinking.  It is about embodiment.  

People who turn enlightenment into another truth or ideology are still stuck in Stage Orange or Stage Green, not Stage Yellow yet.

"If you're so enlightened then you should have no problem making more friends naturally simply by going about your day."  Yeah, when you're enlightened your social insecurities and fears should end and you should be acting out, out, out like an extrovert rather than being stuck in your head.

 

Edited July 15, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Prabhaker]

1 hour ago, TJ Reeves said:

Another part of me sees the isolation as total bullshit.

It is just a training. It is not a way of life, it is just a deep relaxation to change the perspective. It is just falling out of step with society to have a look at yourself, who you are, alone. So don't think that this is a style of life. Many have made it a style of life. They are in error. They are absolutely in error. They have made a medicine food. It is not a style of life, it is just medicinal. You fall out for a time being just to have a perspective, a distance, to see what you are and what society is doing to you. When you are out of it, you can have a better look. You can observe. Without being concerned, without being in it, you can become an observer from the hilltop, you can become a witness. You are so far away. Unprejudiced, undisturbed, you can look.

     So note it, this is not a way of life. I am not saying leave the world and become hermits somewhere in the Himalayas -- no. But sometimes leave, relax, be useless, be alone, exist like a rock, be independent, free from the world, be a part of nature -- and you will be rejuvenated, reborn. Then come back and move in society and in the crowd again. And try to carry that beauty, that silence that happened to you when you were alone. Now carry it, don't lose contact with it. Move deep into the crowd but don't become a part of it. Let the crowd be there outside you -- you remain alone.

[Natasha]

@TJ Reeves After self-realization I enjoy solitude more, but also my connections with others became more pleasant, because of no expectations. Those notes you posted in OP are really good too, thank you for sharing. 

[Loreena]

5 hours ago, Quantum Mike said:

Too many people looking in the wrong place to fix their problems.

There is an old saying in spiritual circles:

"Before you transcend your ego, you need to develop one first"

People with social anxiety should be doing shadow work NOT meditation.

 

Couldn't have said it better. Took the words right out of my mouth. 

To the Op 

I really don't see the connection between isolation and spirituality.It could be perhaps just another mask that some people need to hide their oddity or anxiety by putting it under the guise of spirituality. 

However I also understand the case of those who have a genuine dislike for the world because of all the mental traps and competition and they prefer to be left alone. They need to be sympathized with..

Imo meditation is for those who have got a clearer understanding of things as a beginner and not for those who are confused in the head, as Mike pointed out, because meditation can confuse them even more.

For such folks, therapy is most important. It's too sad to see that some folks sidetrack the benefits of therapy in lieu of meditation, thus remaining confused, stuck,dogmatic for the rest of their lives. Their deeper inner issues remain unresolved forever. 

[Prabhaker]

29 minutes ago, Loreena said:

I really don't see the connection between isolation and spirituality

Loneliness becomes the mirror. Society is the deception. That;s why you are always afraid of being alone – because you will have to know yourself, and you will have to know yourself in your nudity, in your nakedness. You are afraid. To be alone is difficult. Whenever you are alone, you immediately start doing something so you are not alone. You may start reading the newspaper, or you may put on the T.V., or you may go to some club to meet some friends, or you may go to visit some family – but you must do something. Why? Because the moment you are alone your identity melts, and all that you know about yourself becomes false and all that is real starts bubbling up.

A man must move into solitariness to know himself. One need not be there forever, that is futile, but one has to be in solitude for a time, for a period. 

[Max_V]

I'm just scared of people, have been this way since a long time. Just too scared of what people think of me and if I'm loved and accepted.

I've watched Leo's video on this, have done the exercise, but I still feel this way. I guess it's something rooted deeply.

I'm waiting currently to start therapy. Unfortunately  this might take up to 4 months due the long waiting times we have here. 

Edited July 16, 2017 by Max_V

[Heart of Space]

Isolation simply removes all the stimulation that distracts you.  That's all.

[AlwaysBeNice]

9 hours ago, Quantum Mike said:

Too many people looking in the wrong place to fix their problems.

There is an old saying in spiritual circles:

"Before you transcend your ego, you need to develop one first"

People with social anxiety should be doing shadow work NOT meditation.

Any anxiety comes from the fear of dissolution and spiritual practice is the only way out, which is the same as shadow work; illuminating the self/your shadows and dissolving them.

 

[Raquel]

Regarding my own experience..during the early stages of self realization I felt such an abrupt shift in my consciousness that my body and my mind wasn't able to follow up and process it..

Confusion and isolation happened in the begining... especially when suddendly I stopped identifying with friends, colleagues, role models, neighborhood, work, etc..Felt like I needed to do a reset and connect again. 

And yes what better place to hide and go get some fast answers  than internet, forums, docs, podcasts, self help books...Don't get me wrong this can be awesome but has it's pitfalls..addiction, isolation, more confusion, etc.

It's a fixation on trying to make yourself feel better about yourself. Just a lot of mental masturbation disguised with fancy-wise dialogues that you dont need. And that is not consciousness work, that doesn't lead you to truly connecting.

Throwing myself into experice and being out of my comfort zone constantly was what really made me understand and be love. And when you are love, there is noo way that you feel isolated or unloved.

 

[Markus]

19 hours ago, Quantum Mike said:

 

People with social anxiety should be doing shadow work NOT meditation.

 

I'm gonna call this shitty advice. Name one reason they shouldn't be doing both. And if they did only one, I'd still ultimately steer towards meditation. There's so much you'll never grasp if you don't meditate. I'm yet to do any real shadow work, have only been doing meditation, and there have been remarkable changes. Now, it did take a long ass time, over 2 years, before my meditation practice started to bear fruit in this area. My point? Don't be making false choices. 

[Max_V]

@Markus That is what I'm doing. I'm growing my consciousness and at the same time working on myself. 

It might be a weird way, growing your ego while also learning how to transcend it, but I feel like this is the right way for me.

[Dodo]

On 15/07/2017 at 9:50 PM, TJ Reeves said:

I've received a few messages and seen a few posts regarding consciousness work and social isolation. 

Part of me totally understands the sentiments of those who've found themselves more introverted.

Everyone is introverted, because there is no outside us.

[Loreena]

4 hours ago, Max_V said:

@Markus That is what I'm doing. I'm growing my consciousness and at the same time working on myself. 

It might be a weird way, growing your ego while also learning how to transcend it, but I feel like this is the right way for me.

So basically how do you do it ?

[Leo Gura]

Generally speaking, ANY fear you've got, you cannot keep sweeping under the rug in this whole self-actualization process. You're gonna have to tackle it head on at some point. The sooner the better.

So if you have fears about socialization or relationships, it's a good idea to work through those, rather going into isolation. Isolation can be misused by the ego just like any other tool. Isolation can be used as an escape from all sorts of issues like relationship problems, business problems, etc.

In isolation, it's easy to get lazy and start to devolve into a goblin-like creature talking to himself.

[Guest Annetta]

Tell me about it.  I've been socially isolated for years.  If humans weren't such judgey, scummy, evil creatures there would be no need to turn my back on the world.  However those who are considered different or weird do not have a place within society, and society certainly reminds us outcasts of this every day.

[Max_V]

@Loreena Not really sure  

Is it bad to do spirituality while also working on your psychology?

[Loreena]

Just now, Max_V said:

@Loreena Not really sure  

Is it bad to do spirituality while also working on your psychology?

No it's not bad. Its a bonus. But how do you develop a good ego and at the same time try to transcend it through non-duality. It's like a paradox, confusing and contradictory. So I wanted to know how you go about it in practice ??

[Max_V]

@Loreena Oh, well I make it very clear to myself that there are 2 sides of the spectrum. If I don't, I might be doing psychology and that completely contradicts what spirituality says. So I get confused.

I just keep reminding myself that when I'm working on my 'self', that that's not me. So when I notice I identify with it, I ask myself Rupert Spira's questions like

" Who or what is it that is aware of this.."

" Who is 'knowing' this situation?" 

That helps a lot.

It is difficult sometimes, but it is quite satisfying haha.

 

[Raquel]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Isolation can be misused by the ego just like any other tool. 

I like to see the misused as isolation and the proper use as solitude. 

Through the fluctuations of the mind,  solitude can be an amazing tool that recharge us and bring us back to essence. Being able to be with others in a more pure way.