A Guy That Has Lost His Way.

[MattFD]

Hi. 

Just wanted to say firstly thanks for having me on the forums and thanks to Leo for providing a great outlet for his international supporters to help each other etc, also please forgive my no0biness if this thread is in the wrong section.

Thought I would post this as I don't really have anyone else to speak with about these sort of things currently - why not let a bunch of strangers weigh in

I am 29 years old and live in a remote rural town on the South Island of New Zealand and I am scared that I have become the person I always feared/swore I was never going to be: Alone, stuck in a dead end town and without any real direction.

After a separation with my partner of three years, and workplace injury in the mine that I worked at ,my life went spiraling out of control, but it happened so slowly I didn't even realize it was happening.

Being a night person now due to being permanently injured and having no reason to wake early, I do my best thinking and I am at my best state of mind/motivation levels late into the night and early into the next morning, however once I wake to a new day its gone again and this pattern has been occurring for nearly three years.

I guess all I am asking is has anyone been in this situation before and maybe some suggestions that could help me get out of this hole I am in.

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

 

Matt.

[Guest]

@MattFD What is your injury if I may ask? Remember that only you can help yourself out of this, and you can start by focussing on the things you can do where your injury won't hold you back, like probably mediation. If your legs are injured, you can still go to the gym and work out your upper body. And so on

[MattFD]

@The Alchemist My ankle is permanently damaged. I can walk but haven't run in a long time (properly for substantial distance) I know that exercise every day is a large key to getting better but often I will go months exercising etc then it just slips away. I guess my main issue right now is I can't commit to anything.

The fire of thy youth is gone currently

[Guest]

@MattFD I know excatly where you are comming from. You can still do a lot of things, the key is to find your life pupose and you passion.

And start slowly, start with one or two things that you commit to and force yourself to stay committed. It's bad when you commit to too many things at once. You still can:

• create your own business
• meditate every day
• get enlightened
• lift heavy ass weights
• become a rockstar
• become a millionaire
• become a casanova and fuck 10/10 girls all day long
• and so on...

You need to find something that you really want to do, that fire inside of you...what is your dream?

Edited February 18, 2016 by The Alchemist

[MattFD]

@The Alchemist As a by-product of being off work so long I started gaming during the days. I have a fairly successful YouTube Channel which is the only thing I am passionate about nowadays. Aside from that im just not interested in anything anymore lol.

[Guest]

@MattFD Have you seen all of Leos videos? He has some good motaviational videos...maybe all you need is a spark from outside to ignite your inner fire again. Just a little (huge load) of motivation.

[MattFD]

@The Alchemist Yeah that's how I ended up here. Really great stuff

[MonikaBcn]

@MattFD

 the fact that you are watching Leo´s videos and posting this here means that you haven´t given up.

seek and you shall find. just keep going, keep searching and looking for answers and you will find them for sure.

I reccomend you reading only these two books ¨be your own coach¨ by Fiona Harrold and ¨break the habbit of being yourself¨ by Joe Dispenza

It can change your life, really

[ayokolomo]

What makes you think you had a "way" in the first place?  If that "way" lead you to where you are now, and you dont like it then maybe it wasnt such a good "way" to begin with.

If you are having trouble changing who you are, maybe you can change where you are

Edited February 19, 2016 by ayokolomo

[MattFD]

@ayokolomo It's not that I want to change who I am, I just want to be back to who I was. Currently relocation is difficult for me due to being left with two dogs from the separation. Its not impossible but with only part time work and the way renting houses works over here it is very hard to rent a place that allows dogs.

[MattFD]

@MonikaBcn Thank you for reading and your reply. I will check them out.

[Mendy]

6 hours ago, MattFD said:

@ayokolomo It's not that I want to change who I am, I just want to be back to who I was. Currently relocation is difficult for me due to being left with two dogs from the separation. Its not impossible but with only part time work and the way renting houses works over here it is very hard to rent a place that allows dogs.

Dear Matt,

I'm Mendy from The Netherlands, Europe. About 10 years ago, my life was completely ruined by a car accident. I lost everything: my job/carrier, my boyfriend (left me), my friends (so called), my health (was in a hospital for 3 months, doctors said it would never heal) , my thoughts (I went nuts), I was in complete shock. I once could relate to your desire to be who you were before. 

You can not be who you were, every again. And that is a good thing... Here's why: You are in the perfect situation to allow Happiness into your life. The biggest lesson I've learned: Happiness doesn't need better conditions. 

Let your current state of being be a blessing. Feel the bliss in the fact that you are alive to see another day. Happiness doesn't care about your ankle or your house. Sure you can work towards a better situation...

Ok, here were some words from the other side of the world, isn't that amazing? I'm in awe every day, not taking anything for granted. Celebrate your life, it is worth living! Look at the possibilities, rather then the deal breakers. Be grateful, soft and loving towards yourself and your life. Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend. You will see the best thing to do in NO time.

 

Wish you the best,

Mendy

[MattFD]

@Mendy Thank you. Thanks for taking the time to reply and thanks for reading

[WickedIrish]

We all go into that blind downward spiral every now and then.

Hey Matt, my name is Matt as well. I recently injured my hands, carpel tunnel in both hands. I wear braces everyday and it tests my resolve. You and I both need to get our resolve back, identify with your past self and realize nothing has changed. Easier said then done, I right now in this moment, am wondering if I am insane about my new found clarity, and everything I worked for is being tested. My Body and Mind seem to be working against me. This is another test Matt, You and I both need to recognize that these ailments of the mind and body do not define us. We define ourselves, and we are perceiving ourselves in a unhealthy way.

Cold water therapy has been keeping my inflammation in my hands at bay, perhaps you need to find a similar hobby. I have a friend who moved to new Zealand several weeks ago and is struggling to find a job. He mediates fear away by staring at grass of all things, standing up outside his window.

Your country is utterly gorgeous, there is alot there to calm your mind. Good luck 

 

[Maya]

On 18/2/2016 at 0:02 PM, MattFD said:

Being a night person now due to being permanently injured and having no reason to wake early, I do my best thinking and I am at my best state of mind/motivation levels late into the night and early into the next morning, however once I wake to a new day its gone again and this pattern has been occurring for nearly three years.

I guess all I am asking is has anyone been in this situation before and maybe some suggestions that could help me get out of this hole I am in.

 

Hi Matt. 
this part I'm quoting from your post is what strikes me most in your speech. I don't agree on the fact that you have no reason to wake up early. You yourself are that reason! I think Indulging in a late-night routine and staying in bed until late morning/afternoon, mainly because you are not currently imployed in any kind of job, is contributing to your feeling of having lost touch with reality, of loneliness and despair. 
There is nothing else on this whole planet that deserves your commitment more than yourself! Don't you owe it to your own self? Remember, you are the most important person in your life

Why not try to establish a healthier routine, waking up at a reasonable time in the morning (not saying you should dash out of bed at 7 a.m!) and benefit from the daylight... and maybe think of a way you can dedicate some of your time to something more meaningful to you, such as volunteering for instance (or any other activity that can take you out of your house for some hours).
I went through a similar crisis during last Christmas holidays, when I was on holiday from work for two whole weeks and felt very lonely (43 years old and single, recently moved to another town, all my - few - friends engaged or married with children, thus with very different interests and with a life on their own which they're all not so prone to sharing). One morning I woke up and just realized that if I didn't make any move to get out of this situation, no one on Earth would do it for me; I felt responsible to myself, as much as my very own best friend or family. So I started questioning that 'victim thinking habit' and I can now spot it very clearly even before a single thought of that sort starts shaping in my consciousness. You might want to address that as well, to initiate an effective perspective shift (very useful Leo's videos on that subject).

You can do it if you really want it, Matt. You have all the resources you need inside yourself, you only need to start realising that the effort you'll need to endure towards change is way way smaller than the gain you will get. And I can assure you the path itself is already a gain, as far as I'm concerned! 

Keep tough, and please post some updating every now and then! (And please, excuse my wobbly English, I'm not English mother-tongue).
A hug! 

Maya

[Jawor]

@MattFD  I used to be a night person also. I would go to sleep after coming back from school and I would wake up at about 1-2 a.m.

Being a night person is an easily-breakable habit. Don't change your entire life to do that as I may not work very well. The reason you need to wake up early is not because you have a lot of work to do because you've found this amazing meaning of life.. but rather the fact that you are rested and you don't want to sleep anymore.

And if you succeed in waking up at 6-7 a.m. and going to sleep at 9-10 p.m. one time, you'll effortlessly do it the next day

Solve this problem mechanically, not psychologically  Try it!