What To Talk About? How To Talk About Bullshit?

[tomasCZ]

Hello,

I'm interested in a long term relationship so I go out and talk to women. I'm able to start a conversation pretty much with any girl. My problem is that after few sentences or minutes of talking I don't know what to say next. I'm able to talk only about "serious" things like carrier, etc. My friends can talk to the women about totall bullshits, make girls laught and I admire that.

I don't thing that my problem is that I care too much what girls thing of me. I simply have nothing to say.

I attend Toastmasters and same problem here. When it comes to the Table topics where I have to improvize 1 minute. I say one or two sentences and run out of things to say.

 

Can you recommend me something (book, exercise, video) to train improvization/small talk skills? Does anyone have the same problem?

 

Thank you, this is a really great forum!

[Guest]

Yes, I want to know too! I need to practice this a lot. Well actually I don't need to, I don't even have a desire talking about petty, unimportant shit and I only say as much as I need to say about the topics that I wanna talk about, but we all know that people skills are just important to live in the matrix. Especially if you wanna attract girls and be funny, or attract clients. And I want both. So it doesn't matter if I like that idea or not, I must practice this skill. Being good at smalltalk and being funny is a powerful people skill.

[Simon Zackrisson]

 

I haven't seen this video, but I like his other content. Maybe a perspective worth a watch.

 

 

[stalker]

Men, I would pay $10 000 somebody to teach me that.

But there are only bullshit advices like "be confident "and "talk from your heart")

[Blessed81]

FELLAS... This guy "coach Corey Wayne" is like the Leo for dating/relationships.  You are going to want to watch this and several other of his many many videos on youtube. Then you will read his book (its $10 and you can download in seconds) it is called "how to be a 3% man, attracting the woman of your dreams".  This dude literally knows his shit to the MAX.  You do not want to sit and have a convo with a stranger, you want to chat for a moment and get her number and get out of there.  

I am telling you guys, his book teaches you everything from pickup to maintaining relationships and teaches you how women act and think.  It has been one of the best things of my life finding him and Leo.  My game has changed totally, i have ladies delivering me stuff to work, putting christmas gifts on my porch, totally whooped on me all because of the stuff Corey has taught me.  My entire dating life is soooo much better now, i actually understand women finally.  Once you guys look into his video's and then READ THE BOOK, feel free to thank me for saving your life lol.

 Even if you want to get an ex back he teaches you everything you need to know.  Let me know how it goes guys, but trust me you do not want to miss out on this.  I feel like i know my shit pretty well so if you need any advice or questions replied to feel free to hit me up and i will help you with your issue to the best of my know how. 

 

 

Edited February 18, 2016 by Blessed81

[stalker]

@Blessed81 Dude, that's the same shit.

Same shitty advice "Make her laugh"

How fuck on Earth to do that? That's the point!

[Blessed81]

That video was just a tiny tip of the iceburg, you need to watch many more videos and you definitely need to read his book.  If you see a woman you like go up and  say hi what is your name?  If she does not ask you your name in return then she is either not into you, or she is taken (in MOST instances).  And at that point just say something like well it was nice to meet you, or give her a compliment and be on your way to the next.

 I have literally made a game out of testing this theory and it has been very accurate.  Go out there and stop being shy fellas, it is all about the numbers game.  Most of the time you will get rejected and that is totally fine, you surely cannot win them all.  It feels good to feel alive and just out having fun and trying new ways of meeting women.  Some ways work and some do not.  But i am telling you, read his book and watch many of his videos and you will become a 3% man (only 3% of the men on earth actually understand women and the dating game). 

[Progress]

@stalker Maybe because it is more vital then you think to talk with confidence and from the heart. Once you're confident and you talk about things you are passionate about, the mind does the rest.

[Pallero]

I have never liked small talk or been good at it. I have tried to fake it many times, because I thought that was what you were supposed to do on dates. But then I just got very annoyed and bored with the faking. I decided that the person who I'm meant to be with has to like me for who I am.

When I was on the first date with my current serious boyfriend, I was actually really nervous, because I liked him a lot. Therefore what came out of my mouth was a mix of bad jokes, bizarre comments and tmi on my past and childhood traumas. I made like every imaginable social conduct mistake ever. The date was a blur of sweating, embarrassment and other emotions.

Several months later we started to talk about our first date. He said he had thought that I was absolutely adorable and that he actually fell in love with my frankness and the ability to share deep stuff so soon.

He's bad with small talk too.

[Ludwig]

@tomasCZ 

Personal development only works to some extent. That's why you get lots of ups and downs but never seem to get there - to this authentic you, that is in complete alignment in his whole expression of himself. Your SELF - your accumulated believes about you, your entangled emotions and thoughts- prevent you from feeling real and genuine. The less of SELF there is the more of flowing is there in everything you experience. Why do people drink or distract themselves? To get some rest from their self. 

To sum up the hard truth:  As long as there is a self, as long will there be a sense of lack, of incompleteness. That's the way to go, self-inquire, push your limiting believes by just doing everything you are afraid of (and laughing afterwards how stupid you were ;)), meditate, try expressing your genuine being by being creative, singing in the shower, whatever. Become a fool, a little child. Smile at your self, tell yourself on every occasion how marvelous your imperfections are. If you can't do this then love yourself for not being able to love yourself. 

Also ground yourself by going in nature, doing yoga, bioenergetics etc. The limiting believes are manifested in your whole body, your muscles are tight, your whole system is contracted, you are imprisoned by your mind to an INSANE degree. If you can't flow and be comfortable with yourself in such everyday situations you are extremly messed up. Be honest with yourself, face the truth. Accept it and work from there.

I know from which place you are speaking, i was there myself. Your problem isn't the lack of skills or secret techniques. Your problem is that you can't be comfortable with yourself. You have no idea who you are. You never touched the completeness and utter perfection of your being. How you are on the inside will be reflected on the outside. I guess it is clear now? Stop running from your SELF that you avoid on EVERY occasion (I'm bored let's do..., I'm uncomfortable let's distract..., ) So face yourself it will be well worth it.

 

I hope this is helpful to you. All the best.

 

@stalker

Thanks for the $ 10 000

[Sen]

If you can engage girls easily in conversation learn more about the Ego. Some NLP might help also. You need to get the girl to talk as much as possible because they can do that easily. You need to be a good listener and ask the right questions. If she asks you questions be honest. As a guy talking too much is a minus.

Edited February 19, 2016 by Sen

[kalter000]

@Sen Does NLP even work? Looks like set of restrictions, making you inauthentic. What's your experience?

[Sen]

I've only tried what this guy says and it worked every time as long as the girl is interested also.

 

[stalker]

@Blessed81 Dude, you are totally missing the point.

I don't have a problem with meeting new people. I could get thousands that like me at first. 

The problem is communication. How to make them stay with you more than one date. 

The topic is about Talking About Bullshit but not about common dating problems.

I copied text from this book.

Quote

Now comes the time to be honest with yourself. You need to think about who you are for a minute: I’m the type of person that is very combative, and I’m not a good communicator. I don’t like to talk. I don’t like to work things out verbally. I like to yell and shout. I’m looking to attract somebody into my life that is a great communicator, someone that is easy-going and doesn’t get upset… Face it, gentlemen, you have to be the type of person you want to attract

See?

There is no magic girl that we need to find that would like you, the one who you are right now. That's a bullshit.

Everybody responds the same to the same stimula. The guys that can talk a lot just go to the top girls and get them. 

[stalker]

@Ludwig Sorry not helpful at all. I will keep my 10 grands.

 

[kalter000]

@Sen no disrespect, but this guy is crazy. Have you seen his video on how to remove pain through hipnosis? It's hilariously stupid.

I believe you can't control your emotions with thoughts and language, those are on completely different levels. That's why I'm asking if anything was working, maybe i'm wrong.

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

@tomasCZ

Fuck you sen and fuck you Ludwig hahaha. He is not talking about this shit Ludwig even though it is a good stuff, and you sen don't know what the hell your talking about.

The key is being congruent.

Be with a good eye contact, good strong voice, and a relaxed bodylanguage.

Girls love emotions.

How can you give her a lot of emotions be being yourself? Say things that you find funny, things that you find interesting, tell her your opinion, tease her in your funny way, talk about sex in the way you want to talk about it, make funny jokes about youraelf and her.

Here is a good video from Leo, on how to be funny, and what he thinks is important for attraction. I agree on all of it.

 

 

 

 

This is how your friends do it.

Also read the books: "The Superior Man" and "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" (these books are basically how to be more attractive human being).

The sex part is also really important.

You really do not need more stuff than this to start with. 

I also recomend that you watch videos from RSD on youtobe

[Sen]

@kalter000 That's why I mentioned first learn more about the ego. I'm not a pick up artist. I was just curious if they work and I've practiced them on a few people and they worked. Btw they work on guys and girls also. I don't know who this guy is or what he does, I only tried what he said. About the authentic part, really listening to someone is the most authentic you can be.

Edited February 19, 2016 by Sen

[stalker]

@Olafur Thorsteinsson I was always wondering what so many success guys are doing on forums like that? 

[MonikaBcn]

@tomasCZ @stalker you said that you have nothing to say. THATS THE PROBLEM. 

why would someone ever talk with you if you have nothing to say? you have no thought process at all? do you really have no interests? no opinions or dreams or plans? no questions for the person who you are talking with? you are not curious about their stories and thoughts?

if so, no trick will help you. u first need to have sth to say. go and work on that. get knowlegle and be curious  and you will always have sth to say.

which countries did you visit, what did you see, what movies do you like, what was the last book you read, do you like sushi, why is your hair red, whats the name of your dog, where do you want to be in 5 years, why did you study medicine, how is it to work in hostel, what was the most crazy thing you ever did, did you have sex in a car, do you like to study, do you know how to ski, what is your favourite meal, how many friends do you have, what do you think about meditation, do you like yoga, do you think aliens exist, what are you scared of, what are your dreams, problems, nsecurities, HEY look at that guy's t-shit, its funny! what is the best stanup comedy you've seen, do you like thather, have you ever been to music festival, if you would have to choose would you rather have the ability to fly or teleport....

i can go on forever.

Edited February 19, 2016 by MonikaBcn