Wtf? Self Help Is Making Me Dumber?

[Miguel Oliveira]

Hy guys!

I want to share a quick thing about how my life is going with this new path of "self help".

I was one of the most intellegent kids when I was younger, amazing grades, people "idolatred" me.

Since 12 years old I have OCD (the biggest problem is the enormous compulsion to think).

OCD started to get worse as the time  went on and when I enter in college I had a super breakdown, I was so bad.

I went to therapists, hipnosis therapists and nothing could solve it.

That was when I started to trying to get answers to everything that I think on the Internet, Actualized.Org was one of the first channels and here I am.

 

Since the college started I had some problems with a discipline that I've already had on high school and I was relative good at it. On college I left that discipline. It was the first discipline that I left and from there I started to feel dumber, with the help of the severe OCD.

Since then I started to search the answers for my questions on the Internet about everything in life. Religion, school, relationships, animal care, everything. 

Right now I'm the the 3rd year in college and I still have dificulties to understand (I know that is so psychological) the concept of Software Enginneering, for now I just have one more year and I just have 1 unfinished discipline but I have to get help from others to pass the disciplines. When I try to make the things for myself I just can't, I feel so stuck, I can't think.

Now this feeling is in everything on my life. I feel so much fucking dumber, I'm not the same.

I know, I know that this is so psychological but now I have so many, so many layers of "my new reality" on me that I just can't get out of this "new me".

Since I started to trying to get the answers from the Internet, everyday I see YouTube videos, on how to do stuff (relationships, business, spirituality) but I feel more dumber. I have the feeling that for everything in life I need others help and this is killing me. I just can't stop and make the things by myself. I feel so overwhelmed and the thought that I have to get help enters on me and I ask for help. 

I've try to not get help but I'm stuck, I can't do anything. When people help me I see that was so easy but I can't do by myself.

 

I was, and I know that I am intellegent but all of this things made me dumber. I was the guy that could find a solution to a hard problem and now not even to the simple problems in college I can make a solution without asking for help!!

 

Self help made me dumber?!

How can I break this fucking, soo deep psychological blocks that I have? I feel that, with this so many layers of my "new reality" I just can't be who I was. I feel that I have to be this dumber guy that needs help for fucking everything. It seems so, so difficult to get back to the person that I was.

 

Sorry about the rant. Not everyone gonna read this but the ones that get here if you can share your insights and ways to "help (again?)" me getting through this it would be amazing.

PS: I'm portuguese, sorry about my English!!

[Moreira]

Trying to get answers to everything is great, that means that you are motivated and thirsty of knowledge. 

Dont be so proud saying you were very good at college, basically they teach us to storage information like parrots and then vomit it in the exams.

And you keep doing the same with youtube and self-help. If you learn info without questioning it, processing, understanding, being critical, you'll lose mental skills.

 

[Nahm]

@Miguel Oliveira Sounds terrible man. What's your experience with meditation, excercise, diet consideration, etc? Have you had any opportunities to try those avenues?

[Miguel Oliveira]

Hy @Nahm!!

I play basketball, right now I'm gonna start on the gym.

About meditation I slack of so much. I try to get the willpower to do it but I do it for 2 days and then 1 month coming with mental excuses to not do it.

I live with 5 friends with just 2 rooms and is very difficult to get on a room without getting disturbed.

Diet is one thing I'm considering.

[d0ornokey]

I can help you listen up

I've had extreme OCD for the past 2 years. It affected me for 10/16 hours of the day. It corroded my friendships, daily functionality and happiness. I barely remember my last 2 years because it was mostly spent in one big compulsion. It's what motivated me to get into personal development. Problem was I never stuck to anything in PD. Exercise, sleep, diet, meditation. I never had any routine so I was never able to experience results. I still believe to this day that if you get the fundamentals down, that would probably eliminate your OCD.

2 months ago Leo released a video about the 40 self development principles and there was a brief mention of neurofeedback. The claims were insane. 90% of all mental health disorders cured in a few months? BS. But I was super intrigued. I bought the book he recommended on Kindle and read it in five days. I was bought in. I was on a business trip in Poland and I still had another 2 months left to my stay. But if Leo and the guys behind Neurofeedback were legit then my OCD was to be cured in a matter of 2 rounds of neurofeedback (40 sessions) then I HAD to get the treatment; I couldn't live like that anymore. So 2 days after I finished the book I told my business partner what was going on booked a flight for the next morning and came to America. Most impulse decision I made in my life but my intuition told me that this was what I should do.  

I came to America and called up the Neurofeedback institute as soon as I landed (while still on the flight hahahaha) and booked a brain mapping session. Here they scan your brain and see what is wrong. They discovered that I had depression and general anxiety along with OCD. Makes sense lol I wasn't too happy about my OCD. But I booked a round of Neurofeedback (which is 20 sessions) and started getting treatment. I felt benefit immediately after the session. I felt lighter and calmer. Surely this is placebo I thought. But as I kept going everyday kept just getting better and better. I FORGOT that I even have OCD. My OCD is 70-80% cured now. I don't have that daily struggle anymore. I can talk to friends properly, the crippling back pain that I had because of anxiety is gone, I don't struggle to have a work ethic anymore, I can read fine, all the things that used to scare me are gone. It's weird. Because I had a fear of my own thoughts before neurofeedback. But now It's like my mind forgot there was a fear in the first place and it just thinks whatever it wants to think. As if there was no fear in the first place... I've been to 18 sessions. The lady said to do another round. Which I'm totally down for. You can get some spiritual meditative benefits from neurofeedback eventually. I'd optimally want to do it for many months but it's really expensive, my insurance doesn't cover it. 

Good luck and I hope you at the very least look into what I'm saying. I can 100% promise without a doubt that it'll at the very least change your life. 

Book: a symphony in the brain - jim robbins. 

Pricing for neurofeedback: $1600 for a round. On the low end.. It can go up to more. If you have good insurance then it'll be a fraction of that price. But mine are assholes. 

 

Edit: A quick list of benefits

Actual energy, I can do stuff lol. I had no energy before

70-80% less OCD, the fears that I had are like mosquito bites now as compared to being hit by a 100 ft. boulder every 5 minutes. 

A work ethic, routine and willpower for my habits (which I was struggling so much to get before. Now it's almost effortless) 

Ability to communicate with people

No more physical pains (which was a huge symptom of mine dont underestimate)

Headaches, stress are mostly gone 

My FUCKING life back

Edited July 13, 2017 by d0ornokey

[Miguel Oliveira]

@d0ornokey amazing!!

Gonna read the book!

Thanks :-P

 

[Arkandeus]

 

Quote

I've try to not get help but I'm stuck, I can't do anything. When people help me I see that was so easy but I can't do by myself.

Isn't  this wonderful? maybe it's a way for your higher self to make you work towards trusting other people, making bonds with them, relying on them...
if it wasn't for this you would maybe never try to ask others for help. 

Other people are an extension of yourself, they are apart from you, it's a great opportunity to learn this lesson.
to work alone does not mean to work without others, everyone is apart of your world, of your power, to be by yourself is to be with others. 

Try to look at what your higher self is trying to teach you, the deeper you go in spirituality, and you actually start listening to your inner instinct and less to your controller personality, the more you get into these sort of lessons. 

[Miguel Oliveira]

@Arkandeus amazing point of view!! Thanks!

[Nahm]

@Miguel Oliveira donkey's plan is solid.       i also was where you are with this suffering - meditation, excercise & healthy diet worked for me 100%.  

i also struggled for many years to acheive daily rituals / practices.  i wrote them on my walls.   it worked.   i hope that something helps you to get that inspiration!!!  

[Miguel Oliveira]

@Nahm Many thanks!!!

[d0ornokey]

Hey man, any progress? 

[shahryar]

I think what you doing is stuffing yourself with self help content without practice you're tendency to self actualization is wrong you're not supposed to be always in the learning and decision making state these are important but you should first determine what are your goals then if you have theoretical foundation dont go through reading more and stuffing yourself just start strategising and timing you certainly lack time management abilities dont do 4 hours personal development and just 10 minute doing college assignment while you need the opposite start keeping journals about how much time you are putting on what and why? and also stop acting like victim of ocd we dont care about what we cant control take responsibility about what you can