Self-inquiry On Weed

[Afonso]

Yesterday, after spending 2 days in silence contemplating, I took a really really big hit of weed.

And then, I started to do Self-Inquiry.

What happened was so frightening. I felt like I was wearing Virtual-Reality glasses and everything was part of the game. Everything was unfolding as it should. I wasn't controlling anything, things were just happening (just like in a movie). There was so much harmony in other people's movements. It felt like they were just mechanical toys. Other people were just characters in a movie. Everyone was equal in that sense. Every control I thought I had, I hadn't. Really, life is just like a big VR Game. It's really just a big VR Game.

My personal experience didn't change, I didn't see things pretty lights or colors. Nevertheless, I saw everything from a higher perspective. Which I believe can go much much much higher. This is all just a big game. It's absolutely terrifying to give up on control... or give up the illusion of control.

This made me wonder that to give up control is very, very frightening. I mean, every ounce and bit of control, you will let it go! Absolutely everything.

How will I have the balls to surrender everything to God?

Edited July 11, 2017 by Afonso

[Gabriel Antonio]

AWESOME! 

=P 

I have felt that! That's it!!

Amazing, isn't it?

[Max_V]

@Afonso I know what you are talking about. Whenever I transcend 'the wall' during meditation and I experience absolute silence, my mind gets very frightened. 

Emptiness is impossible for it to fathom. It needs something to hold on, otherwise where will you go and what will you be?

[Afonso]

28 minutes ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

AWESOME! 

=P 

I have felt that! That's it!!

Amazing, isn't it?

How did you experience it? On weed too?

[AlwaysBeNice]

The terrifying part is only because you feel like giving up the 'you', that you carefully created as that was necessary to behave in 'approvable'  ways to friends/parents/society (the ones you needed to survive as a child), seems like a really really bad idea and these fears call upon these human conditioned instincts that are generally carved deeply into the system and were responsible for much of who you taught you were.

Just through desire, patience and compassion you will learn to chose loving yourself over the validation or dislikes of others or even of the idea of a judgmental God (he's so loving he'll even support you in thinking that you are not to be loved).

[Gabriel Antonio]

@Afonso yes

and afterwards on ayahuasca. 

amazing! this is all a game. you are just a player. you are not the character. you are the one behind.

[Afonso]

10 hours ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

@Afonso yes

and afterwards on ayahuasca. 

amazing! this is all a game. you are just a player. you are not the character. you are the one behind.

It shattered a lot of illusions.

Even though the trip was 2 days ago, I still feel a huge shift in consciousness. Maybe it's permanent?

Edited July 12, 2017 by Afonso

[Gabriel Antonio]

@Afonso i think it will simply grow and grow =) 

[starsofclay]

Alfonso, I have gotten this too, yes with weed... a lot of people believe that we live in a simulated world, and my thoughts have taken if further that maybe we are living in a video game that was made many many years in the future from now when the graphics have passed the uncanny valley, and we finally invented artificial intelligence. Kind of like "The Sims, Version 3000".  If you think about it, this is the only time in our reality that we could comprehend this. All of the ancient philosophers knew nothing of virtual reality, video games, etc. 

I'm not saying I believe this, but hey, who knows? We certainly wouldn't. Perhaps that is the big "truth" we get through enlightenment. Ha. (Don't take me too seriously on that.. as my profile claims, I'm still just a butt monkey)

Edited July 12, 2017 by starsofclay

[Erlend]

when that frightening feeling comes at that point, do two things: allow it to be and allow yourself to feel it (don't try to change it), and give yourself love. right, give yourself the forgiveness that reality gives you unconditionally at any time regardless of anything. See if you can feel that love and trust yourself to it. 

I do this and it helps me surrender