Is My Life Purpose Too Selfish?

[Sagatarius]

I finished the life purpose course about 6 months ago and discovered that i want to create illustrative books and stories for all kinds of audiences. Think of some example such as: James Gurney's work: https://www.amazon.com/Dinotopia-Land-Apart-Time-Anniversary/dp/1606600222 (creator of Dinotopia) or Ralph Macquarrie's (The retelling of star wars with his concept art that he compiled into a book) illustrative stories: https://www.amazon.com/Star-Wars-Adventures-Skywalker-Knight/dp/1484706684. This i have much passion for, i love drawing and concept art/illustration and i also love the story telling process (the lanugaue is similar to that in Novels). Doing this to broaden peoples perspectives of the world and to give them new ideas and possibly lead them to try new things (hint in a direction or with a twist) such as personal development or some higher consciousness values. How they could make an impact on the world, etc.   

Great right? the only problem seems to be this guilt of saying to myself that what I'm doing is selfish and i should be doing something else that would create an impact on the world at its roots like: curing world hunger/poverty, or fixing the education system, or preventing abuse, etc. when i say that i know i can sort of do those things with my art (using the world "art" ambiguously) with meanings and morals behind the stories and journeys, and the way it's structured. But this guilt keeps getting to me. like I won't have any impact meaningful enough, and i'll just be another regular artist/author that's nobody special. 

I don't know why I'm feeling like this. In fact before i got into personal development and found actualized.org i was going for what you would call a typical philosophy towards life influenced by orthodox culture. Something along the lines of career success with 6 figures through some in demand field (for me IT) would make me fulfilled, along with a marriage kids and big house and a car, while playing an abundant amount of video games, etc (although we need people in IT, and these minor pursuits are not wrong to have). 

One thing that i did think of doing is creating a spin off series to my books in the field of education, or it could be termed "edutainment" (education + entertainment). Using tools like mnemonics and advanced leaning strategies to help kids learn more, faster, easier, more productive, along with other various learning techniques and strategies not just for kids who struggle but every kid who's learning. Implementing this into books as a story with characters while at the same time teaching kids early subjects and showing them how to use and implement these tools. These i found were really helpful for me especially in learning a new language. If you want you can find out more about it here from just one of many books and sources: https://www.amazon.com.au/Unlimited-Memory-Advanced-Strategies-Productive-ebook/dp/B00I3QS1XQ 

This would be awesome for me to do personally because i struggled in the early years of my schooling with a condition called "APD" (yes not ADD or ADHD it's APD: Auditory Processing Disorder) which made it really hard to learn (nothing to do with my intelligence) reading, writing, and comprehending early math. I overcame this because it can be cured/treated but I'm still suffering some of the damage it did to me this very day (like falling behind in school or childhood trauma which i don't think you can overcome easily?). 

I want to create these illustrative books because i loved this stuff when i was kid (and still do) like drawing and stories (movies, films, games, books despite reading difficulties when younger). but at the same time i feel i could be making a bigger impact elsewhere for some reason. Even though i might suck and hate the other field. And although making things easier for kids to learn sounds great i'm being pulled two ways now that i think about it, which might be causing this guilt? I don't know. maybe my ego is getting in the way. 

What the hell am i doing wrong?

Sorry this was really long. 

 

 

[Richard Alpert]

Self sabotage is a funny thing.

You know what you would like to do and still try to talk you´re way out of it.

Im a master of self sabotage myself. Most people are.

Nobody gives a fuck anyway what you will do so do what you want to do.

Edited July 11, 2017 by Richard Alpert

[Sagatarius]

I give a fuck. 

[Richard Alpert]

2 minutes ago, Sagatarius said:

I give a fuck. 

sure. but no one else will. I dont see how anybody could help you or know better what you should do. Personally, i think you´re idea is great. keep going.

Edited July 11, 2017 by Richard Alpert

[Markus]

All kinds of work has a place in society. Yes, your ego is getting in the way by saying "I should be a good person and not selfish bla bla bla". And don't make it a false choice - literature has through ages been a source of inspiration and creativity for readers. Don't let yourself tell you doing what you love is wrong, my friend.

[Sagatarius]

Thanks for all your replies, it's helped. 

I am being judgemental of myself so i must not let me get in the way of me, if i know what i mean. 

 

[ShapeShift]

I think it's fine -- at the end of the day it helps yourself and other people.

[Metody]

All what we do is for selfish reason, even if I wanna help others, animals. If I see homeless dog, why i want to help him ? Because if i don't, i will suffer, it will opossite to my value, compasion etc.  So, please stop feel guilty for your selfishness.

Even Leo do his work for selfish reasons really. 

[TJ Reeves]

On 7/10/2017 at 11:49 PM, Sagatarius said:

Great right? the only problem seems to be this guilt of saying to myself that what I'm doing is selfish and i should be doing something else that would create an impact on the world at its roots

 

1. There's a ton of over thinking here on this post.
2. Since you spent $250 and +25 hours to finish the life purpose course, you should have done the homework and watched Jorodowski's Dune.
   • Except, clearly you didn't, because you would have realized that the life purpose course promotes things like artistic careers in fields like drawing/illustration. 
3. Your little freakout about how drawing is selfish is a judgement on every single illustrative artist. Not only do you insult Picasso, Dalî, and Walt Disney by identifying with the guilt that "drawing is selfish," you also prevent yourself from doing what you love. Take your head out of your ass and drop the judgment immediately. Use the Sedona method if you have to.  
4. And yeah, its true: Art is, has, and will always be selfish. That's because it's your goddamn right to create art, as it is one of the best ways to express your truest self. There's nothing to be guilty about.
   • Don't worry about "oh no! Self expression! That must mean my ego is getting in the way." No, where your ego is getting in the way is how you've come up with this huge set of bullshit reasons why you don't do the thing you love: drawing. Look at how much anxiety you've caused yourself by forgetting what art is at the end of the day: a chance to therapeutically express yourself. 
   • Fuck you, any thing, any thought, or anyone in the world who tries to keep you from making art. That especially includes creative guilt.
5. This whole thing about needing helping the world with your art or else is egoic bullshit. You do not need to save the world with your art. That belief will create huge problems for you, especially through creative blocks and anxiety. Just do what you want and make what you want -- for you. If you want to help the world, fine. But don't freak out about how your drawings don't save polar bears.
6. Rest in the Not Knowing as you move toward the future. 
7. Read "How to Be Like Walt Disney" to see what it looks like when someone decides to follow their passion for creating cartoons, especially for children. When you see the life possible, then you will realize how fucking silly you are being. 

On 7/10/2017 at 11:49 PM, Sagatarius said:

One thing that i did think of doing is creating a spin off series to my books in the field of education, or it could be termed "edutainment" (education + entertainment)....

This would be awesome for me to do personally because i struggled in the early years of my schooling with a condition called "APD" (yes not ADD or ADHD it's APD: Auditory Processing Disorder) ....

I want to create these illustrative books because i loved this stuff when i was kid (and still do) like drawing and stories (movies, films, games, books despite reading difficulties when younger)....

This is awesome! Seriously, go after it!

I'm sorry if I sounded harsh above, but It's because I want you to wake up and recognize when your ego is limiting you. In this case, you've clearly gotten hold of a great idea and it would be a shame if your ego-identification prevented you from going after it. 

Main point: The issue is not about wanting to make educational illustrations. The issue is that you take those false feelings of guilt seriously and are limiting yourself from pursuing a cool opportunity, all the while thinking that you're being heroic or selfless or something. It's a sad joke. 

Another great book that you may want to consider reading is called Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert. It will help you wake up and take charge of your artistic career. 

Edited July 12, 2017 by TJ Reeves

[Lynnel]

@Sagatarius  Invest in yourself and take care of yourself. Be the most selfish amazing fuck you can be - then you will produce really amazing results and share them with the world and it won't even feel slightly selfish anymore. It's really a win-win situation : you win because you have a life purpose and you're satisfied and the world wins because of your contribution.

[Sagatarius]

@TJ Reeves hey thanks so much man.

I'm understanding how i'm limiting myself with these stories and feelings i've made. Now that a thrid part has pointed it to me, it's obvious how these feelings and thoughts are just silly, there is nothing selfiesh about what i'm doing. 

I did watch the Dune documentry btw. 

 

[Moreira]

As Carl Jung says every human is selfish, God made us this way, and theres no reason to condemn or hide this part of you. Accept that you are selfish and fuck this society that told us that was a bad trait. Evereything is necessary, selfishness is needed to appreciate altruism.

Be at peace with every good or bad trait of yourself and accept it.

[Leo Gura]

@Sagatarius Your life purpose is perfect. Just go do it. It's not selfish in the way you think.

Don't drag enlightenment teachings into this. Keep them separate.