Tattoo Regret Depression

[Andrew93]

Hey everybody, what's up? Hope everything is going well!
So, I'll try to get to the point quickly. 1 year and a half ago, I've made this tattoo on the chest, and it was a really poor decision (on design, positioning, meaning, etc) supported by a stupid impatience to have a new tattoo soon and at the time, total unawareness of my inner feelings. I was a teen working and going with the trend of some friends doing tattoos, and being a teenager with some cash and unawareness usually means shit happening. I've self developed myself quite a lot compared to that time, and although it's covered by my shirt, I still hate seeing it at the mirror when I'm shirtless. And I hate myself not only for the bad decision, but to not be able to get through this, to just accept it or to spend a lot of cash to remove it. I'm ashamed of getting laid or to take off my shirt because of it, and it's one thing that holds me back a lot in my self actualization. The worst part is that all of this is me sabotaging myself without finding a way out and getting depressed at the end.

The only thing good that happened few days ago was thinking like: "I'm gonna get new tattoos. But they will be soo fucking great and cool and I will be so satisfied with my choice that nobody will care about this tiny piece of crap". But even so, I'm still not confident about this thought.

So, do any of you have ever went through this or have any advice regarding moving on at this specific situation? Thanks for taking your time!

(Note: It was not my first tattoo, and I love inking my body. My 1st is something I really enjoy having on my body. Or used to enjoy until I've made this mistake)
(Note²: I've went to a experienced tattoo artist and he said that a cover-up would be hard in a black tattoo, for anyone thinking about it).

Edited July 6, 2017 by Andrew93

[Moreira]

Why is it so shameful to you? Could you post a pic, or at least which style is?

[Loreena]

@Andrew93 what does the Tattoo say or represent ?

[S33K3R]

This tattoo has come into your life to show you how to deal with shame and low confidence. Is it possible the tattoo is being used by the ego to cause negative energies? What is to gain from the shame that you feel? Find the lesson, the tattoo means something you don't like. Dig deeper. It could become more. A spiritual lesson. 

If you never accept it you can always remove it

[Visitor]

5 hours ago, Andrew93 said:

... it was a really poor decision... supported by a stupid impatience... total unawareness of my inner feelings....going with the trend...  I still hate seeing it at the mirror... I hate myself... to not be able to get through this, to just accept it or to spend a lot of cash to remove it. I'm ashamed of getting laid or to take off my shirt because of it, and it's one thing that holds me back a lot in my self actualization. The worst part is that all of this is me sabotaging myself without finding a way out and getting depressed at the end....

I have tattoos too. They are old and getting blurred. Each one represents a time in my life. They are reminders of how I was at that time, and how far I have come since then. Because they are part of my journey of self-actualization, I have no regret or feel any shame for what they represent. 

I isolated the above comments to show you what lessons a tattoo could remind me of if I were you. The tattoo would remind me to accept poor decisions, to be more patient, more aware of inner feelings, to not conform to trends just to fit in with others, accept how I look (tattoo and all), and accept that self-actualization does not mean self-perfection. And finally, that the way out is to accept, accept, accept.

So, in a way, your tattoo is a great reminder to stay on track towards self-improvement. That is unique in itself, don't you think.

[egoeimai]

I think that I don't have the right to tell you do this or to do that . For example "oh remove it ", "keep it" because this is a very personal decision as the one when you got the tattoo. Take this decision yourself.

But in here to talk you about the emotional frustration you have and all these feelings. I think that it was a decision made by you, some time in your life, and as with everything in your life, we can't afford having regrets. I mean that, if you had a child, you wouldn't toss it in the garbage. This tattoo is on your skin, it's a part of you and your life, I mean why remove it ? It was you who decided to get it. It's you who decides that you don't like it anymore. Try to love and accept everything. I'm not talking about the tattoo because this is very insignificant. But even if you had a child, regret having it, no matter what happens to the child, if it goes for adoption or you keep it and raise it ,you don't know what happens. Emotions are emotions. They come and go. As easily as you got the tattoo,so easily you want to remove it. No matter what happens, you have to be positive and acceptable of the decisions you took, because the opposite you do now,brings you unhappiness,and that doesn't feel okay to you right now. Regardless the tattoo, your well being matters,your mood, that's why we came here to enjoy life, and you found this reason to feel miserable in your life. Now try to change your feelings no matter what happens to the tattoo. Be happy no matter what. It's not the tattoo that is bothering you but your thoughts. These are gonna have to change. Always and everything. Think better feeling thoughts . Not those you chose. Tattoos mean shut, if you can be happy. If you were happy, tattoo wouldn't bother you. ? be happy please.?

Edited July 7, 2017 by egoeimai