How To Heal A Breakup In A Healthy Way?

[AlexB]

Hey there, I decided to brake up with my girlfriend seeing that we are 2 different worlds one from another, and I'm curios how can I feel the pain without trying to block it.

What are the subtle ways we try to block the pain of a breakup? As an emotional suffering I know it will hurt very bad on certain days but I want to heal it the right way, feeling all the emotions without blocking nothing.

As I know that blocking emotions makes it worse and doesent really help resisting emotions. 

 

[Frankie]

That's what I've got maybe still to do (I mean the break ....). Anyways:

I would try the Sedona method. It has helped me with some other negative emotions as well. The method is very simple:

1. Focus on the feeling. You haven't go through this feeling for the rest of your life - it's just for the moment.
2. Ask yourself: Could I let got of this feeling? (and answer it for yourself....it doesn't matter how you answer this question - just do it)
3. Ask yourself: Would I let go of the feeling? (same as above - it doesn't matter what the answer is as long as it's really honest)
4. Ask yourself: When would I let go of this feeling? (same as above)

There are some videos on youtube about this method as well, but it consists of just these four steps. After doing this method several times your brain begins to question the emotion and slowly it fades away ....

[Lynnel]

@AlexB

Wanting to heal it too fast is a way of resisting it, because you want it to go away.

You can simply stay present with it as long as you can.

Also, knowing how harsh a break up is, I recommend Teal Swan's and RSD Tyler break-up videos !

[Phocus]

I would agree with @Lynnel

It is going to take some time.  A suggestion though would be to not stay trapped in any one state for too long.  If you are feeling bad, then feel bad.  Focus on what it is that brings up the strongest feelings and what hurts about it.  Why does it hurt? 

But then, you have to go out.  Force yourself into social situations.  You will not want to most likely, but it will be good for you.  The energy of the people around you will bring your mood up and help you temporarily forget about the breakup.

Just don't do any one thing in excess.  Only going out and burying the pain is not healthy, nor is being a hermit.  As in all things, there should be balance.

[Zephyr]

Very simple. But it's hard to Surrender when you are low conscious. 
Regardless try this:
The problem might be is not because you are not accepting pain, but you are not accepting that you can't accept pain. Then it leads to you "not letting go of not letting go of not letting go of not letting go of control" until you finally get hit with Silence. But it wont last for long depending on how strong the emotion is^_^ they come back like waves. Just be mindful, remember that it's not going to be easy to surrender if you are always trying. 

[Ayla]

@AlexB , just don't fall into the trap of seeking suffering where there is none  

Sit with what comes. Allow your body to fully feel it until it calms down. Than move on  

[Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj]

Broke up with my girlfriend 2 days ago. Tried to meditate (do nothing) really much and one time with a sad album, cried my ass oss for several hours and felt better after that. Try to feel sad really much if you want to get over the pain faster, just dont go crazy about it and start to drink etc.

Personaly we spoke about 4 hours after the break up and cried as much as possible, went over memories and held each other for about 4 hours, best break up ever. You will have a hard time meditating but trust me it totally fucking works.

[AlexB]

Here comes the emotional pain.. Damn it stings