Difficult Lsd Experience

[kino]

About three months ago I had an LSD experience that has left me a bit traumatized. I've tripped on LSD dozens of times on higher doses before, but this particular trip was the strangest. I took 4 doses and smoked a few blunts throughout the trip.

After about 20 minutes of taking the acid, I could feel a wave of unease coming. It was abnormally strong. So strong that I couldn't stand anymore and so I laid down and listened to some music. That calmed and relieved me down a bit, but the wave was still coming in strong.

During the peak of the trip, my reality was fluctuating between pleasure and pain. I was having visions and imagining a life of extraordinary pleasure and then a life of excruciating pain. I began to think that all of my friends old entities, old gods that were waiting for me to wake up.

The most unsettling part of this entire experience was the feeling that I was inside of a simulation. I kept thinking about life lines. I would have glimpses of really dark realities where I would be raped and tortured for thousands of years inside of a dungeon and then a few moments later I would have an unexpected sense of bliss where I would see rainbows and a future where I'd be creating music and spreading love. 

Also, I would very clearly become aware of alternate realities, where the characters of my life would do very unexpected actions that they wouldn't do in my reality. The characters of my life all seem to blend into one energy. The idea of old souls come to mind. Everybody that was around me during the trip, felt like a very old entity who had taken form as my friends. My friends all felt really old, beyond their physical form. And i was realizing just how much physical forms we had all lived through. We had all gone through many many forms of life to end up where we were.

The entire trip was extremely unsettling. And I haven't been able to get it off my mind. Sometimes I find myself questioning what's real in my every day life. It's not a pleasant feeling. I feel like i might be delusional. I keep remembering the vivid emotions that encompassed that trip and i find it really strange. I have a deep feeling that there's something really weird going on but can't put my finger on it let alone explain it. I'm just been very in awe after this trip and would appreciate some guidance and experiences. I wanna know if i'm deluding myself or if i really did tap into something strange.

Edited July 4, 2017 by kino

[Leo Gura]

Well it's true, reality is an illusion.

Why are you taking it as a negative thing? It's great! That means reality has no limits. It can be any way it wants.

[kino]

54 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Well it's true, reality is an illusion.

Why are you taking it as a negative thing? It's great! That means reality has no limits. It can be any way it wants.

That's a good way to put it. That realization just left me kind of shook though. I guess I need time to reflect and accept it. Every perspective i had on reality was shattered that day, which is so strange because i've taken acid dozens of times before and it has never been that intense and spiritual. It's been months and I still haven't recovered from that experience. I wanted to make this thread to confirm that i'm not delusional. Although i'm not sure whether or not I am. 

[nightrider1435]

@kino Yeah my first mushroom trip shattered my old perspective on reality completely, there's no going back. You can't unsee this once you see it. It's not a bad thing though, reality has no limits, you only limit yourself. It's just such a mind fuck at first that the ego can try to perceive it as a bad thing when it doesn't have to be like that. Im still dealing with some shock from my first trip which was about four months ago now. It'll get better the more you reflect and accept. It's just going to take some time. I wouldn't worry about if your becoming delusional, it's just the mind trying to scare you away from what is true.

[Leo Gura]

@kino You are delusional... now. The truth you glimpsed during LSD was the truth. Now you're back in the world of delusion along with all the other deluded chimps  

[gleb]

Great trip report. I spent many months in an anxious and depressed hole after reaching a similar conclusion - that reality is seemingly meaningless and simulatory. Just sit with the feelings and don't run from them and they'll pass.

And then trip again and learn that it reality can also be full of meaning and completely tangible ;). The train always drops you off somewhere different. 

 

Good luck, my friend!

@kino

Edited July 4, 2017 by gleb

[Little Plant]

@Fidelio yeah did you know that death is one of the potential risks????  

Psychedelics they show you YOU. That's all (or nothing teehee). 

Ofc there are plenty of risks with NON psychedelic FRAUD drugs, but doing proper research and testing your stuff is an everytime winner, but yet a personal choice. Blaming "the drugs" is just never ever gonna solve any problems.. ever mayn