No Porn, No Masturbation

[Eiti]

I know usually boys have this "little problem", but let's be serious: Girls watch porn, too.
Some more often than others.
There are a lot of complex reasons why I chose to give up porn forever. I'll say some of them:
-When u watch it, obviously you get turned on and you masturbate.
-I realized that I do it when I feel alone/when I am anxious/when I am bored/when I am not in the mood for studying :)) .. and that proves very clearly that it's not an activity I would do with "my heart open".. I just do it having the illusion it makes me feel better. And it's an addiction.
-Porn has an influence on your mind..bigger than you can actually imagine: it turns people into rapists, criminals, homosexuals, child molesters and other deviations from normality : because the act of simply watching repeatedly something makes that something enter our subconscious mind and consider it normal.
-Some of you may be bothered I included homosexuals in that list. I am sorry, I am not a homophobic person. I actually had relationships with other girls... and I realized the main reason I started doing that was BECAUSE OF PORN. At first, I was curious about porn videos with women.. they seemed nicer than man and woman because they were very kind and loving with each other.. they touched each other in a very sweet way and they were so hot together.. so I continued watching them without taking into consideration that someday I could actually do that. It seemed only a curiosity and a way of having fun alone.. Days passed and I became more and more curious, I started wishing that thing. Only as a fantasy. After some years I wanted to try kissing girls for real.. to see how it feels. It didn't seem to be a big deal. We were having fun.. I was still watching hot girls videos.. I was having relationships with guys, started my sex life at 18. Things were good. Then.. step by step, I realized I had a burning desire to have sex with a girl. And maybe even try a relationship. And..I did that. I had a 2 years relationship with a girl. I don't want to go very deep into that topic.. Just wanted to sum up my conclusion: if I didn't watch porn, things would not have gone that far. Ever. Porn LITERALLY changes the way you see some situations, the desires you have about people around you and even your behavior. With every porn video you watch, cells in your brain are not the same anymore. Something very small is changed. Then another tiny part is changed. And so on. Until you become somebody you don't know anymore. Is porn that strong to influence people in doing crimes? The answer is: Definitely. It is.
-Sex is a very deep process (just like that picture with the iceberg that we all know: we see a small part of the iceberg at the surface, but deep down there is a huge part we don't have any idea about) which requires a very big effort from the human body. When 2 people who love each other and are very connected to each other make love, at the end there is a hormone that is released: Oxitocin, which helps the body to recover from the exhausting process of sex. If you have occasional sex or you masturbate, this hormone is not released anymore. In time, if you continue having sex with persons you don't have a long relationship with or continue masturbating, you'll experience a lot of wrong consequences like inflammation in your body, headaches, back pain, joint pains, low immune system and so on. I am not talking here about infections with Herpes virus, HIV, Chlamidya or others. These are another topic. I am only talking about long-term effects of masturbation and sex with random partners.
-I want to have control over different aspects of my life to be an example for my future children and masturbation is one of them.
These are one of the main reasons I want to give up masturbation. The last time I did it was on 21st of January and I promised myself that at least for a month I wouldn't do it. And I respected that. But I still have dreams with sex, I still have porn images in my had when I am bored, I still feel turned on sometimes. And soon, there will be a month since I've made that promise and it's hard for me to make it another month... so I think it's a good solution to start this journal and be really honest with you and with myself.
I'll keep it actualized.

[Brazilian]

I've being on the same journey as yours for about 45 days,the results are amazing

i'm gonna follow your topic

[Eiti]

Nice to hear that. Maybe you'll tell me about the amazing results..they could help me in being strong and not giving up. Thank you

[Guest]

I don't believe that you turn bi or gay because of porn. Notice you were curious to beginn with. Most likely that desire was inside you all the time. Most likely you were always bi and attracted to girls. 

I never turned gay from porn and never even felt the desire to watch gay porn (and never did). Altought I also was quite an addict in the past....to non-homo porn of course. 

[Eiti]

You may be right. I definitely had a predisposition to this kind of stuff. There are psychological and environmental factors that make a person choose or not choose a certain thing. But maybe if I didn't watch porn, my mind wouldn't have gone that far. Maybe I could have stopped to kissing a girl, because it didn't seem a big deal. Maybe the situation would have been different. How can we know? And also let's not forget that 2 girls kissing or having sex are muuch more easily tolerated by society, they're even encouraged to do this. They are thought to be very sexy together. It's our mentality today. However, 2 boys doing that? Almost nobody wants to see that. So.. you and I have a different start-line in our minds about this curiosity. I feel encouraged to have it, you feel rejected and maybe you even have an aversion in your head about you and a guy ever kissing. Maybe if society promoted guys kissing in music videos and stuff like that, your mind would have felt free to go into that area, too.

[kalter000]

@Andess I believe girl on girl action is intended by mother nature- something so beautiful can't be a coincidence... =)

Jokes aside I also think you've already liked women, you was just unconscious about it. And it's not bad, but perhaps I'm brainwashed by porn too.

Porn is the effect, not the cause of being child molester, rapist etc. It's just giving fuel to already existing deviations in my perspective.

[Zephyr]

@kalter000 exactly. Porn is like gasoline. I've personally experienced the side effects of porn. It was fine in the beginning of course but I've been doing this for year after year, hundreds of times. It makes you guilty. It makes you feel depressed than you already are. It makes you unmotivated. It makes you even more low conscious than you really are. Thoughts on becoming a rapist also scared me "what if I'm in a situation and I can't control myself?" What scares me is losing so much control and losing integrity.

@Andess My advice to you is focus on other things rather than having a no fap journey. Once I started a journey to become an ultimate badass I begin to not even think of porn anymore. Maybe a little urge will hit me but it never really get me to do it. I used to masturbate like 9 times a week. Now it's changed to 1time every two weeks. While I never even set up a no fap routine yet. There have been really cool stuffs happening in my life recently that I just can't seem to remember to masturbate. The secret really is having a high vibration. If you are feeling great, inspired, motivated, integrated, radiant you'll just absolutely find no reason to do such low conscious act. If you are low conscious most of the time though then consider yourself done. However do so ask for support if you need.

[Extreme Z7]

I have a suggestion for quitting any bad habit.

Start doing meditation if you haven't already, and be biased towards more uncomfortable forms of meditation. This will create more tolerance for unpleasant situations like the boredom of being alone and sitting in front of your computer. Also have a large song library, mine has over 4,000 song files with eleven days total content. I don't know about you but constant music can help me get through any bland moments but use it in moderation.

[Sattu]

Hi.

I have found some quotes. they says. I have learned two things from below two videos.

porn and masturbation should not alternate to sex. You can avoid porn and masturbation right now (only this moment.) else in future it never possible to overcome this. If you think if I would marriage then i will escape from porn/masturbation but not, if your wife went then you will do the same thing as you are doing now. So leave it now.

 

 

 

 

[Siegfried]

I think if you have these intense feelings about this topic, a good goal for you would be to thoroughly educate yourself and seek guidance. There are zero peer-reviewed studies which show the claims you've made (that porn "turns people into rapists..."). If you don't want to watch porn, then don't obviously, but try not to make such broad statements about serious consequences without empirical evidence.

 

Speaking of empirical evidence, the scientific community agrees that masturbation is normal and healthy. Here's just one of many studies: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2518802/Masturbation-good-health-prevents-cystitis-diabetes-cancer.html

 

In terms of coming to terms with bisexual or other impulses, it'd be best to seek some professional advice from a secular counselor. Homosexuality and bisexuality are, by the strictest definition, "normal". It occurs in all cultures and has no effect on mental health (except the detriment homophobic societies cost, but that's correlation vs. causation.) 

 

If this post has annoyed you, please consider the purpose of this forum and what Leo has said about criticism. Take criticism without harm and use it to better yourself. If you want to be a healthier person, the science says this is the wrong path. 

[Guest]

@Siegfried Don't make science your religion. Have you forgotten what Leo said? Just because science claims something doesn't mean it's right or true. 

[Siegfried]

@The Alchemist science can't answer all questions, but it's the best way we have of answering a lot of them. This user isn't bringing up a metaphysical or philosophical problem, but making a number of factual claims. 

Let's replace the word masturbation with, say, smoking. When a doctor gives advice about how smoking affects a patient's health, do you think he should rely on science? Do you think there is a more logical alternative for ways for him to determine how smoking will affect this patient? His feelings? His parent's, pastor's, or culture's opinion? No. That doctor's best evidence for determining the real effects of smoking is through scientific study. 

"Science" is not a belief system. It is a systematic way of thinking and conducting experiments to determine facts in the most logical way. It can be difficult to do, which is why experiments are conducted again and again, cross-checked, and the results only published under peer-review. And as new evidence is discovered, results do sometimes change. 

You are right that something is not true simply because a scientist says so. In matters of fact, something is either true or not, and it is only through the scientific process that we can empirically determine this. 

[Rosie]

i am on the same journey and i think there are many people on the same journey. im only 25 but Im feeling as sex became meaningless and not satisfying as it's too easy to get it. in my work environemet sex is just a way to destress as we have to work 7days a week for at least 6 months with no stop. as a crew member alcohol is cheap and leads to many decision involving meaningless sex. i want to change my life and my future. thats why i give up sex and porn all in all for a while.

[Time Traveler]

On 2/17/2016 at 10:03 PM, Brazilian said:

I've being on the same journey as yours for about 45 days,the results are amazing

i'm gonna follow your topic

I only endured 14 days. Now I'm not sure what to do with increasing tension. Could you suggest something ?

I'm not even sure that restriction from sex is healthy for men. Cause sexual energy accumulates all the time, this cannot last forever. One must release it or transform to something different.

[Brazilian]

On 02/03/2016 at 7:13 AM, Time Traveler said:

I only endured 14 days. Now I'm not sure what to do with increasing tension. Could you suggest something ?

I'm not even sure that restriction from sex is healthy for men. Cause sexual energy accumulates all the time, this cannot last forever. One must release it or transform to something different.

Honestly the first 3 weeks are crazy, you just need to focus on beating up the addiction every single day...cold showers/meditation/exercises can help alot. After the 21 day mark,it was alot easier for me...actually i'm still without fapping!I was 1 year without dating a woman,on day 21 i was so in need to throw away that sexual energy at something that i met a girl and went on a date with her. I'm still going out with her i didn't made sex with her yet,but just kissing and touching is enough to satisfy me.Atleast for now

Release the sexual energy on real things

[Anna Skywords]

I stopped masturbating when I realized that haveing a orgasum as one...is just not how it's ment to be. In my perspective even having a casual encounter with someone else is better then cumming alone. I can't even remember the last time I masturbated. Sometimes I'm altogether not intrested in sex because it's used as a tool. And I'm not into using people for anything. I care. So that's what I got to say about that.

[Guest]

20 minutes ago, Anna Skywords said:

I stopped masturbating when I realized that haveing a orgasum as one...is just not how it's ment to be. In my perspective even having a casual encounter with someone else is better then cumming alone. I can't even remember the last time I masturbated. Sometimes I'm altogether not intrested in sex because it's used as a tool. And I'm not into using people for anything. I care. So that's what I got to say about that.

Can only agree on that. Call me a dreamer or deluded, but I expect my future gf/wife to have that same mindset.

[Anna Skywords]

Well The Son...there's a saying that goes....you attract what you are. So if you agree. Then you will attract people that agree with that also. So I'm very confident you will find that in a future wife someday.