Something Marvelous Happened To Me, And Everything Is Going To Be Different From Now On

[Dodo]

On 27/06/2017 at 9:32 PM, Mastral said:

Two questions: how to find it and if it is so simple why all people don't find it?

In this R. Spira's video I felt sad for the woman who's been desperately searching for 40 years and didn't find anything ... so it if it's so simple why would it take so long?

I also want to raise the question of Why do people say it's the easiest thing. Obviously the easiest or easier thing is to be trapped in your addictions.

An undoing of addictions can be seen as non doing,  but it is way more than that. Talking about any addiction, but ofcourse mostly about addition to Ego.

It took the OP 5 years for the cleanse and yet it's the simplest thing. Maybe once you are there it is.

Someone who is not addicted on cigarettes would say it's the simplest thing not to smoke. Not the case for those addicted, also there are different degrees of addiction which would make the cleanse shorter or longer, I guess.

So if another person says enlightenment is the simplest thing, im telling you my ego will burst from anger, self destroy out of rage, and I'll be here enlightened saying how easy it is.  

 

[krazzer]

@Dodo I never said it was easy, I said it's simple. Simple as in not complex.

Just like losing weight is simple. Eat healthy and exercise. Simple. Easy for someone overweight? Hell no.

I hope that makes more sense.

[Nahm]

@Dodo It is far easier to live a healthy, mindful life of right practices than not because of all the suffering involved. Suffering is all self created & imposed. It takes a lot of work & effort to support an ego. Holding on to habits and therefore negative views is like carrying 100 pounds around 24 7. When you begin to let these things go, life becomes very easy.

[Dodo]

8 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Dodo It is far easier to live a healthy, mindful life of right practices than not because of all the suffering involved. Suffering is all self created & imposed. It takes a lot of work & effort to support an ego. Holding on to habits and therefore negative views is like carrying 100 pounds around 24 7. When you begin to let these things go, life becomes very easy.

I agree with this one. Life is much more enjoyable free of addiction. But then my mind steps in. I am not the body or the mind? Then I am never addicted, even if they are. 

So why would it in any way be bad for my spiritual realisation?  This is usually how I return to a habbit. It has been outlined before by Leo and others that this often happens, spiritual bypassing. Using enlightenment as a free pass to do anything.

I've learned my lesson and I acknowledge this as Ego defence mechanism.

[AlwaysBeNice]

3 hours ago, Dodo said:

I agree with this one. Life is much more enjoyable free of addiction. But then my mind steps in. I am not the body or the mind? Then I am never addicted, even if they are. 

So why would it in any way be bad for my spiritual realisation?  This is usually how I return to a habbit. It has been outlined before by Leo and others that this often happens, spiritual bypassing. Using enlightenment as a free pass to do anything.

I've learned my lesson and I acknowledge this as Ego defence mechanism.

Ye, 'I don't have these suppressed feelings because I am not even real' is a common trick I think, it certainly was for me.

[ajasatya]

@krazzer watch out for the desire to be acknowledged, congratulated, looked up.

let us be servants of Truth, not the opposite

peace, compassion and wisdom.

[krazzer]

@ajasatya I have had these desires come up, but awareness already cleaned them up  

My ego is like a little squeaking mouse in a corner.

[Real Eyes]

Thanks for sharing this journey with us.  Can't wait to see how things progress for you in the future! 

I'm curious, did you experiment with any psychedelics during this period of searching for enlightenment??

Edited June 30, 2017 by Real Eyes

[krazzer]

@Real Eyes That's a good question. I have never taken any drug in my life, so I also never investigated it. Drugs was simply a no-go area in my life.

This changed when Leo started talking about psychedelics. His video about AL-LAD convinced me to try it out, because it looked like a good starting point. 

The problem though was to do a trip, I required myself to take a whole day's time, and the next day no work, which restricts me to Saturdays. I haven't had many Saturdays completely free for myself, and I'm not gonna trip when I need to take care of my son. 

Another problem was my wife. She is even more dogmatic about drugs than I was. Doing a trip isn't something I can hide from her, nor should I want to hide it. So it took me some courage to tell her, and while she doesn't agree with me doing it, she told me she trusts me in whatever I do.

So far I have 2x taken AL-LAD.

The first time was 75µg, just to see how I would respond to a low dose. Nothing much happened, except for maybe slightly more awareness.

The second time was 150µg. No noteworthy visuals, but much more awareness. I was in a peaceful state, listened to some music, but nothing profound, no insights or anything. Near the end of the trip I didn't know what to do anymore so I watched some TV with my wife, and it was a show about celebrities. I remember ridiculing all those celebreties and their petty problems, it all looked so alien to me. On the other hand I don't need drugs to see that .

Both trips didn't have any lasting effect on me as far as I know, and I don't think they have anything to do with the awakening I've had. But who knows.

In my next trip I wanted to try a 300µg dose, and that was actually the trip I was waiting for and expected to actually get some results from it and hopefully some insights. 

My desire to do this has dramatically diminished, because I already got what I was looking for, but I'm gonna do it anyway. I now know there is even more to discover. Even though I don't really desire any more discovery, doesn't mean that I shouldn't.

[Shin]

Don't push out your mind, don't seek something, just be !

Just be conscious whatever happens, that's the only thing you have to "do".

DON'T DO ANYTHING !!!

Edited July 2, 2017 by Shin

[ajasatya]

5 hours ago, Shin said:

Don't push out your mind, don't seek something, just be !

Just be conscious whatever happens, that's the only thing you have to "do".

DON'T DO ANYTHING !!!

huh, i think @krazzer got this because he doesn't seem to be someone who suffers from attachment.

i still go to ayahuasca ceremonies twice in a month even though i'm not searching for anything. i just enjoy life the way it is .
i play within duality like an innocent child. i talk about spirits and reincarnation. i talk about zen and make people practice zazen with me. i dance like the wind. i play a role without identifying myself with it. it's all fine. no suffering at all.

Edited July 2, 2017 by ajasatya

[Joseph Maynor]

On 6/27/2017 at 10:08 AM, krazzer said:

Something strange was happening to me these last few days... I felt like the search was almost over.

I have been searching for enlightenment these last few years. But over the last couple of days I felt like I was almost there. I felt it but I didn't believe it. I thought it was just my ego being stupid. 

But something kept me searching very intensely these last few days. I was looking for enlightened people on the internet. I found this this list: 
http://www.poehm.com/en/list-of-enlightened-people/ 

I was looking for video's of those people talking. Yesterday, all I was doing was watching video's and reading this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Search-Talks-Ten-Bulls-Zen/dp/3893381163

I was watching video's of Sadhguru, Tolle, Mooji, Gangaji, Cairns, Leo and others. Then my mind became 100% quiet while watching this video:

Then I watched this one:

And then, at the end, I got it.

What I was looking for was already there.

It has been my entire life.

I went back to the book, and I found out there were only a few pages left. 
Before, the words kinda made sense to me, but now, I got it all.
It was like reading a book about how to drive a car, while already having a drivers license.
When I listen to any enlightened person now, I feel like I truly understand everything their saying now.

Over a year ago, I also got it, but it lasted only about half a second, while watching Leo's video about the Neti Neti Method:

But now, it's still there. All the time.

My mind is quiet. All the time. It's like i'm meditating all day long. It's marvelous.
The mind still creates thoughts and feelings, but they are so small compared to the presence of my true self...

One could say that I am now enlightened, but it feels so silly to say that, because the truth is so ridiculously simple.
It's like all my life all I did was look around, and never look up. And then suddenly I notice the sky is there.
"Ohhh! The sky! I wasn't looking up to see the sky! Hey guys! I'm enlightened now! Because I can see the sky!"
It would feel like that.

Now I also understand why words cannot describe it.
My best definition would be:
It is that, which cannot be found, because it's already there.

That's it!

My whole life feels upside down now. I was trying to grow my business, but it seems so silly now. I was meditating every day for half an hour and doing self-inquiry. But now I know who I am! And i'm in a meditative state all the time!

Time will tell, all I know is that everything is going to be very different from now on.

If anyone wants to know more feel free to ask.

Woah!  Coulda said the same thing myself.  Just happened to me too.

[Nahm]

I think it's note worthy, given all the questions about simplicity, to mention that @krazzer  meditated for 5 years. A lot goes on with the body & brain that amounts to big changes in perception in that duration. I hope pointing that out encourages confidence in daily meditation if anyone is feeling discouraged for missing something so plain & 'simple'. Congrats again K man!

[Joseph Maynor]

On 6/29/2017 at 1:19 AM, Dodo said:

I also want to raise the question of Why do people say it's the easiest thing. Obviously the easiest or easier thing is to be trapped in your addictions.

An undoing of addictions can be seen as non doing,  but it is way more than that. Talking about any addiction, but ofcourse mostly about addition to Ego.

It took the OP 5 years for the cleanse and yet it's the simplest thing. Maybe once you are there it is.

Someone who is not addicted on cigarettes would say it's the simplest thing not to smoke. Not the case for those addicted, also there are different degrees of addiction which would make the cleanse shorter or longer, I guess.

So if another person says enlightenment is the simplest thing, im telling you my ego will burst from anger, self destroy out of rage, and I'll be here enlightened saying how easy it is.  

 

I will take this advice myself too.  Thanks Dodo!  No need to rush this stuff.

[krazzer]

15 hours ago, ajasatya said:

i still go to ayahuasca ceremonies twice in a month even though i'm not searching for anything. i just enjoy life the way it is .
i play within duality like an innocent child. i talk about spirits and reincarnation. i talk about zen and make people practice zazen with me. i dance like the wind. i play a role without identifying myself with it. it's all fine. no suffering at all.

That sounds wonderful.

 

10 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Woah!  Coulda said the same thing myself.  Just happened to me too.

Really? That's great! I would like to hear more about it!

 

9 hours ago, Nahm said:

I think it's note worthy, given all the questions about simplicity, to mention that @krazzer  meditated for 5 years. A lot goes on with the body & brain that amounts to big changes in perception in that duration. I hope pointing that out encourages confidence in daily meditation if anyone is feeling discouraged for missing something so plain & 'simple'. Congrats again K man!

Thank you! It's indeed worth mentioning that in no way it is easy. The absolute truth is simple, but our minds are mostly trained towards solving difficult problems. Cleaning up your life is very much required. High awareness is required, but consistent non-destructing behavior is needed as well.

Enlightenment is like a very big bright stone in the middle of a 100km² desert. The untrained mind is full of fog and will never find it. The fully trained mind can see it from any distance.

[Real Eyes]

@krazzer  Since it's been awhile, are you still in this state?  Has it been coming and going at all?

[krazzer]

@Real Eyes @Wormon Blatburm

I have a clear sense about what I am. I am not the result of my brain activity as I always used to think. I am simply it. I'm sorry I really can't put this into words and right now I'm not feeling very much like trying to

When I read any book about enlightenment or hear a teacher speak about it, I simply get it.

This is not going away, period.

When I read the descriptions of what enlightenment is from various teachers, some of them would label me enlightened. My ego told me "Yes! you got enlightened, you did it, everything will be awesome from now on!" and clearly deluded me, because after a few days the awesomeness wore off and I also got sick.

I dropped the need to label myself anything but I feel there are some things still missing. I don't feel love for everything as some of the teachers describe, and I don't really feel that i'm everything as some describe. Maybe that's just my character, but I feel I want to deeply investigate this much more. 

And I will. This whole experience has instantly transformed me to being 5x more serious about spirituality than I was. I am dedicating all my free time into this now on and I even chipped away some time from building my company. Which would have been unheard of 1 month ago.

These last 2 weeks I was mostly sick laying in bed. I caught a flu and got a real bad sinus infection which I just recovered from. I haven't been working for 2 whole weeks. This has never happened before in my life. It might be related to all of this, but it might just as well be a coincidence. Who knows.