Something Marvelous Happened To Me, And Everything Is Going To Be Different From Now On

[krazzer]

Something strange was happening to me these last few days... I felt like the search was almost over.

I have been searching for enlightenment these last few years. But over the last couple of days I felt like I was almost there. I felt it but I didn't believe it. I thought it was just my ego being stupid. 

But something kept me searching very intensely these last few days. I was looking for enlightened people on the internet. I found this this list: 
http://www.poehm.com/en/list-of-enlightened-people/ 

I was looking for video's of those people talking. Yesterday, all I was doing was watching video's and reading this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Search-Talks-Ten-Bulls-Zen/dp/3893381163

I was watching video's of Sadhguru, Tolle, Mooji, Gangaji, Cairns, Leo and others. Then my mind became 100% quiet while watching this video:

Then I watched this one:

And then, at the end, I got it.

What I was looking for was already there.

It has been my entire life.

I went back to the book, and I found out there were only a few pages left. 
Before, the words kinda made sense to me, but now, I got it all.
It was like reading a book about how to drive a car, while already having a drivers license.
When I listen to any enlightened person now, I feel like I truly understand everything their saying now.

Over a year ago, I also got it, but it lasted only about half a second, while watching Leo's video about the Neti Neti Method:

But now, it's still there. All the time.

My mind is quiet. All the time. It's like i'm meditating all day long. It's marvelous.
The mind still creates thoughts and feelings, but they are so small compared to the presence of my true self...

One could say that I am now enlightened, but it feels so silly to say that, because the truth is so ridiculously simple.
It's like all my life all I did was look around, and never look up. And then suddenly I notice the sky is there.
"Ohhh! The sky! I wasn't looking up to see the sky! Hey guys! I'm enlightened now! Because I can see the sky!"
It would feel like that.

Now I also understand why words cannot describe it.
My best definition would be:
It is that, which cannot be found, because it's already there.

That's it!

My whole life feels upside down now. I was trying to grow my business, but it seems so silly now. I was meditating every day for half an hour and doing self-inquiry. But now I know who I am! And i'm in a meditative state all the time!

Time will tell, all I know is that everything is going to be very different from now on.

If anyone wants to know more feel free to ask.

[Max_V]

Thanks for sharing all this, very interesting!

I'm want to get to your stage too at some point. Is self inquiry you would say very important? I've only been meditating and reading books untill now. I am doing exercises from 'The Book Of Not Knowing' and a lot of it points to contemplation and self inquiry so it must be something worth looking into

[krazzer]

@Max_V To me, absolutely. Like I said Leo's video about self-inquiry brought me my first actual experience of the true self.
I haven't done much hours of it though, maybe 50 or so, including walks in nature while doing self-inquiry or just thinking about existence as a whole.

Edited June 27, 2017 by krazzer

[S33K3R]

@krazzer This is awesome!!! Sounds like you have stumbled upon a kundalini release. Only you know if this is true, but if it is I want you to know the high must be met with a low which will be a short depression. The ego wants to believe things will always be the high, but the body cannot sustain the high's for too long. My longest high was a little shorter than 1 month from a kundalini release. 

[krazzer]

@S33K3R I never heard of Kundalini, but I know there are hundreds of concepts that point to the same thing. 

Yesterday I was wondering if it would last until the next day, this morning, all was exactly the same. I had to visit a client this morning. Pure conscious all through the meeting. And now, still the same.

I was also wondering if this is just a 'high' that will wear off, but I've now been here for an entire day. And my previous experience lasted for half a second. Even if it would wear off, I know I can return to it anytime now.

It feels like learning to ride a bike, you can't unlearn it so easy.

But thanks for the warning

Edited June 27, 2017 by krazzer

[S33K3R]

@krazzer Yes this definitely sounds like that. This was how I experienced it as well. The first breakthrough is very short, and after that they get larger and larger. This is your body creating the pathways for a new energy flow. The depression is just the body/emotions reacting to the powerful surge of energy, they are saying "I am tired". So the depression is meant to encourage you to rest your body and contemplate the new paradigm. Nothing to be concerned about at all  I am so happy for you to have this moment though, it is amazing isn't it! Everything is so .... Crisp  with that kind of heightened awareness. 

 

No drug compares to that energy haha

Edited June 27, 2017 by S33K3R

[krazzer]

@S33K3R Yes the awareness is amazing. I have been meditating every day for about 5 years now, and I've had this level of awareness maybe 20x for maybe like 5 minutes.

Now the awareness is here all the time, and instead there are these brief moments of being not aware for a few seconds!

[Leo Gura]

@krazzer That's great. But keep in mind there is more to be grasped and mastered. And just because it sticks around for a few days doesn't mean much. There are many people who have it stick around for a week, a month, even 4 years, and then they lose it, because it wasn't fully comprehended. So don't get cocky. Take your time to fully integrate it.

[krazzer]

@Leo Gura you are right. I am aware that i'm in a high right now and that my ego is trying to get something juicy out of this. 

I've had more breakthroughs in the past, but man this feels like a whole new level.

[AlwaysBeNice]

From what I also understand it tends to go deeper than we tend to think, I just watched this, seems relevant

[Shin]

59 minutes ago, krazzer said:

@Leo Gura you are right. I am aware that i'm in a high right now and that my ego is trying to get something juicy out of this. 

I've had more breakthroughs in the past, but man this feels like a whole new level.

Try to describe it, because it is most likely a temporary state.

You can go back in your old ways pretty fast when this kinds of states are gone, and at the same time going further knowing there is no real coming back as you said.

[Mastral]

3 hours ago, krazzer said:

Now I also understand why words cannot describe it.
My best definition would be:
It is that, which cannot be found, because it's already there.

Two questions: how to find it and if it is so simple why all people don't find it?

In this R. Spira's video I felt sad for the woman who's been desperately searching for 40 years and didn't find anything ... so it if it's so simple why would it take so long?

[cetus]

3 hours ago, krazzer said:

Before, the words kinda made sense to me, but now, I got it all.

That's it! It's like Oh, it all makes sense now! It's no longer just words or concepts -but a direct experience to relate the teachings too. That's something you can really build on. Good luck.

[krazzer]

10 hours ago, AlwaysBeNice said:

From what I also understand it tends to go deeper than we tend to think, I just watched this, seems relevant

Wonderful video. It's nice to see two people talking who are on the same level.

 

9 hours ago, Shin said:

Try to describe it, because it is most likely a temporary state.

You can go back in your old ways pretty fast when this kinds of states are gone, and at the same time going further knowing there is no real coming back as you said.

I woke up this morning and it's still here. Right now it's hard to imagine this will ever go away. It feels like losing this state is like forgetting how to walk.

 

9 hours ago, Mastral said:

How to find it and if it is so simple why all people don't find it?

How to find it: I believe there are many things one can do to create an environment where it's easier to find.

One thing that really helped me: Zoom out on everything you know. Visualize some kind of container that contains everything that makes up your life: thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, sights, sounds etc. Now visualize this container floating in an infinite sea of nothingness. You are that sea of nothingness. I might make a video out of this and post it here.

Why do people don't find it? Because it's so ridiculously simple, it's very easy to overlook. The mind cannot help itself to think it must be something extremely difficult and creates all kinds of concepts and gets lost in all kinds of methodologies. That's how to mind works. So the mind needs to shut the hell up. But how do you shut the mind up? You can't force it to shut up. That's where meditation comes in.

The more you meditate, the higher chance you have to wake up.

[nightrider1435]

The mind thinks it has to go on a mission to find it but like you said it's so simple that one can tend to overlook it. You realize it has been in front of you the entire time. I've been living in a state of heightened awareness for almost two months now. The problem I seem to have now is my ego wants to latch on to this perspective, it doesn't want to lose touch with it. I wouldn't just assume that it will never go away, it definitely could. Mindfulness is pretty important at this point, try to remain fully aware from the moment you wake up and until you go to bed. Leo brings up a good point, don't get cocky, I've noticed I tend to do that. Really this is just the beginning though, this is a life journey after all.

 

[krazzer]

@nightrider1435 it's two fold.

Knowing who I truly am now, that will never ever go away. To me that would be like forgetting what country I live in.

The extreme awareness of my thoughts and emotions I have since this awakening, that is bound to go away. In fact I am aware that this is already happening. So I definitely need to work on that. 

[nightrider1435]

1 hour ago, krazzer said:

@nightrider1435

The extreme awareness of my thoughts and emotions I have since this awakening, that is bound to go away. In fact I am aware that this is already happening. So I definitely need to work on that. 

Yeah I feel you on that one. The only thing you can do is carry on with your practices. 

[Natasha]

@krazzer I got awakened while doing Leo's guided self-inquiry in his Creating the Experience of No-Self video about 2 years ago and the shift was permanent too.  Even when I learn something new about 'enlightenment' and stuff, it doesn't change the state or add anything to it, only to the conceptual knowledge base.  If I threw all the concepts away, the being would still be here, infinitely. Thank you for sharing.

 

[krazzer]

@Natasha That's exactly how it feels to me! Thank you that's very helpful 

[Dodo]

On 28/06/2017 at 7:33 AM, krazzer said:

Wonderful video. It's nice to see two people talking who are on the same level.

 

I woke up this morning and it's still here. Right now it's hard to imagine this will ever go away. It feels like losing this state is like forgetting how to walk.

 

How to find it: I believe there are many things one can do to create an environment where it's easier to find.

One thing that really helped me: Zoom out on everything you know. Visualize some kind of container that contains everything that makes up your life: thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, sights, sounds etc. Now visualize this container floating in an infinite sea of nothingness. You are that sea of nothingness. I might make a video out of this and post it here.

Why do people don't find it? Because it's so ridiculously simple, it's very easy to overlook. The mind cannot help itself to think it must be something extremely difficult and creates all kinds of concepts and gets lost in all kinds of methodologies. That's how to mind works. So the mind needs to shut the hell up. But how do you shut the mind up? You can't force it to shut up. That's where meditation comes in.

The more you meditate, the higher chance you have to wake up.

That's interesting to me, because whenever I self enquire, I always see it as zooming out from whatever content appears in my self inquiry.(because the one who is aware is obviously not the content appearing, so I go towards the one who is aware, hence zoom out from the content that arises)

I will make sure to visualise your suggestion