Fear Of Expression

[Aman]

Hey guys!

Serious problem! Need your help!

I fear to express myself when I am with my family. I cannot talk freely to my brothers, sisters or anybody. They are polite and supportive to me but still I don't know why I do that!

When I am with my friends I am a complete opposite! It's like I have two personalities.

 

Please help I am confused & fucked up!!

 

Aman.

[Aman]

Hey guys!

I am expressing serious inferiority complex. It is hampering my life in ways that is unimaginable.

Please help!!!

Aman

[Walter B]

What do you feel inferior about? Write them down. Perhaps do this several times each day for 7 days. 

See Leo's video on understanding emotions for more on the technique.

[Kelley White]

1 hour ago, Aman said:

I fear to express myself when I am with my family. I cannot talk freely to my brothers, sisters or anybody. They are polite and supportive to me but still I don't know why I do that!

When I am with my friends I am a complete opposite! It's like I have two personalities.

Good Morning Aman.  Nice to meet you.   Thank you for sharing.  Do you have things in common with your family?  Is there a reason you cannot talk freely to your family? 

[Aman]

I feel like expressing myself but words won't come out of my mouth. I feel unworthy and left out..

[Ayla]

@Aman ,

Sounds to me that nobody give any value to you since childhood. Inferiority complex is a vast topic but you might want to start by questioning every thought that comes up as follows: 

"what would be so bad if I spoke my mind?" As answers come, keep going further with same question: " So why would that be that bad?" 

You will find at the end of this questioning, a "core trauma" that you are dealing with - that needs to have the light of consciousness upon it  

[Kelley White]

22 hours ago, Aman said:

I feel like expressing myself but words won't come out of my mouth. I feel unworthy and left out

I understand this @Aman

We tend to have four basic responses to fear/anxiety:  Fright, Flight, freeze, fawn.  These are coping mechanisms.  So it sounds to me like what you are describing is a mental framework where you internally fear you are not really a part of the family?  So it sounds like you default to freeze and flight which then leaves you feeling left out and unworthy? 

22 hours ago, Ayla said:

Sounds to me that nobody give any value to you since childhood. Inferiority complex is a vast topic but you might want to start by questioning every thought that comes up as follows: 

"what would be so bad if I spoke my mind?" As answers come, keep going further with same question: " So why would that be that bad?" 

I agree with @Ayla, inquiry is the place to start.  I am just allowing the thoughts to come, watching them, asking if they are really true?  For me I realized?  I did not like me, so often I assumed others did not like me and it skewed how I listened to/processed what they had to say.  In other words they said A, I heard z.   Why?  I felt z about me, so they said A, but my mind filled in the gaps to support the underlying belief I had, z.

I've also realized, just because someone is related to you?  It doesn't mean you like them or want/need to be fitting in with them.  It doesn't mean they feel safe and like family for you.

Do you feel worthy independent of anything or anyone?  That was the question I had to work with first.  What is worth?  Is it innate?  Is it earned?  What does  worth mean?  Is worth a value or an emotion?  If you feel worthless what are you really feeling?  Fear?  Frustration?  Pain?  Anger? 

If you want to make it very real?  Who are you?  Who is the "I" observed? 

 

[sanoxxx]

Can i join? I have the same problem with @Aman. I feel freeze when im with my family, and because i have been thinking about it, its distract my interaction with my friend. I'm already doing what @Walter B suggested, write thing that make me inferior with my family, and i almost shocked with thing i write that is not really me, in my whole life. There is a lot "afraid" in my thought.

Okay after i realize this what am i gonna do next? Thank a lot. 

[Kelley White]

On 3/1/2016 at 8:32 PM, sanoxxx said:

There is a lot "afraid" in my thought.

I observed the same thing about myself.  

 

On 3/1/2016 at 8:32 PM, sanoxxx said:

Okay after i realize this what am i gonna do next? Thank a lot. 

Thank you very much and you are welcome.