My Top 3 Subtle Addictions

[Falk]

I feel like the new video on sutble addiction is one of the most fundamental & at the same time practical ones leo released this year!

Absolute recommendation to watch  

It made me think what my subtle addictions might be.

1. The need for beeing the nice guy

the normal guy, beeing "accepted", beeing correct , beeing "standart" so noone can take offense in anything i do or say!!! I just noticed that this not really who i am, but it is something i DO!!! Even thou i meditate consistently for a year, i still feel the need to be "normal" and "inconspicous" around people , especially new people, althou it feels horrible!! and boring!! and dead!! everytime i start opening up & get a little "crazy" it feels really good, but it is always an effort at first ... i think i REALLY! have to work on this one.

2. "having a cutting-edge work-ethic, beeing super-productivity, becoming successfull" 

... to the point where i just started thinking ...hmmm maybe i´am addicted to this?! I mean it is a small degree. Of course taking action is the way to go & and people like richard branson are people i really think found an amazing way to take action and still have fun and enjoy life and even the buddha said something along those lines "meditation is great, but taking actions is better" (paraphrasing) ... so i am not shure about this one. I have trouble envisioning an alternative? beeing more passive? clearly this cannot be the answer. Hm ..have to contemplate this topic thou!! 

3. Suffering in overthinking

sometimes it feels , i just NEED! to have a problem that i can solve to improove. Even if there is not problem , i can only be OK if i improove and learn and have paradigm-shifting epiphanies if NOT!! i suffer! because i lack out on reaching my potential .... maybe this can also be a subtle form of addiction.

 

so any thoughts on these? What about you guys? what are your 3 sublte addictions? How do you work on them? WHat are the underlying mechanisms for those addictions? can we find some kind of solution? Meditation for me is definatly the biggest source of freeing yourself over the course of weeks and month from these addicions! Has anyone found other solutions to add?

Cheers.

[Joseph Maynor]

Mine:

1.  Suffering -- This goes back to my childhood, but I feel comfortable and contemplative when I'm melancholy.

2.  Competition -- I get a lot of energy from competing with myself and with others.  I like to fight, especially in writing.  I write arguments for a living.  I'm a legal writer.  I do very adversarial, argumentative writing, and I get off on doing it.  I love it and I'm good at it.  I know how to manipulate in writing very effectively.

3.  Judging people -- I find that I do tend to do this.  I tend to judge bums, prostitutes, thugs,  thieves, and other people whom I consider to be losers and/or morally degenerate, etc.  It's subtle but I gotta kinda watch out about doing it.  I've improved on this; I do it much less than I used to.

Yours:

I think I got over being the nice guy a couple of years ago.  The way I did it was to work on assertiveness.  Get "The Assertiveness Workbook" by Randy Patterson.  That should cure you of nice guy syndrome.  Nice guy syndrome is an unsustainable strategy.

Edited June 26, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Torkys]

Here are my top 3 subtle addictions:

1) SELF-ACTUALIZATION

In the past 6 months, this became a subtle addiction of mine. Doing meditation work, being mindful - when I am not escaping it - to the point of me not being satisfied with myself at all. I really need to master self-acceptance for this to not to be an addiction.

2.) BECOMING A MASTER OF SOMETHING

This is a sub-root of almost all of my past and current addictions. Trying to master video games led me to be addicted to them. Trying to get good grades led to me forcing myself to study, even with me being a big procrastinator. I need to really face the Void for this to resolve (I should do this hardcore, like 3-6 hours of it on my solo meditation retreat... Hmmm... )

3.) PROCRASTINATION

Mentioned it above. I always felt to fill the Void of not doing anything and also I don't like the things I would need to do generally. For this, I think I need to live a minimalist lifestyle to resolve, I need to overcome my "bigger" addictions, which leads again back to facing the Void.

@Falk

39 minutes ago, Falk said:

1. The need for beeing the nice guy

Umm, I have the subtle addiction, to be honest af. You should throw your "mask" to the ground and be authentic. Can't really relate and/or have a solution to the other two.

43 minutes ago, Falk said:

How do you work on them? WHat are the underlying mechanisms for those addictions? can we find some kind of solution? Meditation for me is definatly the biggest source of freeing yourself over the course of weeks and month from these addicions! Has anyone found other solutions to add?

Watch this video right here if you haven't already.