Creepy Feelings From Personal Development

[barry]

Following up with my LP, learning to deal with my emotions, working on my subconscious, meditating and doing other stuff... I get sometimes some creepy feelings, some weird and freaky sensations... some days a go I spent a whole day crying because I realized that in 4-5 of journalling my emotions down, I was the only guilty of the way I felt during all that time, I realize just now how "lazy" I was (and I am)... not only that but I even feel discouraged because I realize I can litterally create anything I want, and I realize the addiction I had to some behaviour that created experiences and emotion to which I was attached... and that's actually the scariest part, I actually feel freaked, terrified, sometimes, when I feel like I can stare into the matrix, and do whatever I want, almost as I had too much power for me, like I wasn't able to hande it.

The creepiest thing I feel sometimes is that nothing in this world look like has a purpose or a sense: things, people, and me just "exist", and are not there for anything else, and at the same time it even feels like sometimes that what I see and hear and feel, doesn't actually exists, I just create it... 

1- is this healthy?

2- can you relate?

3- what can I do to overcome this fear?

I didn't post this on "serious emotional problem" because it is not serious... I can endure this

[Pallero]

Have you (re)watched Leo's Dark Side of Meditation video? I recommend you check that out.

Short answers:

1. Yes, it's very normal.
2. Yes, sounds familiar.
3. You accept it as a sign of growth. Your body and mind are purging.