Do Men Care If..

[kalter000]

5 minutes ago, Sarah_Flagg said:

I love 50 shades of Grey, lol |ɔ~~cɔ~~c|. 

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[Simon Zackrisson]

2 minutes ago, kalter000 said:

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NO PUN INTENDED

[Jackthelad]

My personal take is that when people have amazing chemistry it can and should happen the first night if that is what they both really want, but it's just more likely to happen after the 2nd or 3rd time generally (as a woman likes to feel safe and comfortable to trust the guy enough, in my experience).

I personally have felt flattered a girl had enough comfort with me to hook up early, or I choose to interpret it as connection or chemistry. We are all sexual beings; I don't understand why women get shamed for this. 

For me, women often hold back because they think it makes them seen as "this or that", but I don't see it that way at all. If a woman is sexy, kind, fun and I really like her, I never think about how long it takes. 

However, perhaps counter-intuitively, I have been taken aback when a girl tells me she hooked up with a guy before on the first night if it took us a while longer. I mean, it could be completely out of her control (time of the month; previous bad experience) but contrary to other people, I found it less flattering when a woman waited to prove her whatever, if she went for it before with other people, even if she says it's because she liked me a lot. Again, it's in the interpretation.

I know, other guys may see this as odd. I believe in the nature of the moment and if I hear a girl sleeps with a guy soon I almost always assume the two had chemistry/ a connection/ something else good in that moment.

When someone waited a few dates, I often thought to myself "I must have not made her feel safe enough with me" even if that's not correct in the context or whatever her actual reason might be.

There is some truth to waiting making the experience better and deeper, but I find I am happy for it to happen when the mood is right, even if that's only an hour after kissing for the first time, or whatever.

So you can probably guess my view on hooking up and acting crazy the first night. I think it's great!

As for hygiene, well this is a definite deal breaker for me, and I mean this from both sides. If someone doesn't care enough to have a basic level of hygiene and all that, it's a no go for me, always. No exceptions. I would expect a girl to be the same towards a guy regarding this.

[Mad Cat]

53 minutes ago, Jackthelad said:

As for hygiene, well this is a definite deal breaker for me, and I mean this from both sides. If someone doesn't care enough to have a basic level of hygiene and all that, it's a no go for me, always. No exceptions. I would expect a girl to be the same towards a guy regarding this.

I was following you until this last line, and then you hit me with a "whoa what the fuck" moment. What is with all these people thinking shaving is directly equivalent to hygiene? You know what hygiene means? Washing yourself regularly! Shaving is a purely optional, aesthetic choice. Like, for example, are men unhygienic for having hairy armpits, backs, chests, and asses? Only the guys who neglect washing themselves when they are sweaty and stanky! Same goes for women. It's fine if you prefer a smooth aesthetic, there are plenty of women who agree, but that doesn't automatically make people who prefer a natural aesthetic dirty and careless. Eesh, the ignorance.

[DanoDMano]

Back in my early days hygiene simply meant some soap and water and was sufficient for everyone. Nowadays personal hygiene has become a multi-million dollar industry (and now includes sex). It's humorous to me on how easy it's been for the corporate machine to convince so many people that sex is so much better, (cleaner) with continuous (grooming) maintenance. The majority of young people today have now put such a negative social stigma on this, that neither sexes have a choice anymore if they want to be accepted by their sexual partner.

It actually causes you embarrassment to be natural today? Yet before the 1990's all these manscaping and female grooming maintenance issues were unheard and completely unnecessary. And this wasn't the dark ages folks. Could your time and energy not be spent on more productive things?  

For those of you who wouldn't even consider having sex with a 'natural' person now, guess what? You've become just another cog in the industry machine, and you fell for it hook. line, and stinker... sorry I meant sinker.          

[Sarah Marie]

@DanoDMano That's why I added that question I was curious to see if it was an age thing (I'm 25) or a cultural thing. I know it varys by person but generally speaking I think the younger generation considers it bad hygne. 

[AlexB]

Men who are trapped in social conditioning will have rules many times. But at the end of the day if you have a great time that led to sex you might continue hearing each other and will go out again on another date witch might lead to a relationship. 

It depends on everybody's values, witch also are because of social conditioning. 

You gotta be free! ✌ 

[Jackthelad]

3 hours ago, Mad Cat said:

I was following you until this last line, and then you hit me with a "whoa what the fuck" moment. What is with all these people thinking shaving is directly equivalent to hygiene? You know what hygiene means? Washing yourself regularly! Shaving is a purely optional, aesthetic choice. Like, for example, are men unhygienic for having hairy armpits, backs, chests, and asses? Only the guys who neglect washing themselves when they are sweaty and stanky! Same goes for women. It's fine if you prefer a smooth aesthetic, there are plenty of women who agree, but that doesn't automatically make people who prefer a natural aesthetic dirty and careless. Eesh, the ignorance.

Hygiene means being clean, washing regularly. My girlfriend often has stubble under her arms and other places and it doesn't bother me at all. I think we are talking about different things. 

I began talking about hygiene without realising she asked about shaving/ grooming more specifically (i.e., I thought she was asking about hygiene and general things like that)

[ZenMonkey]

 

16 hours ago, Simon Zackrisson said:

Yeah, I was under the impression that we were talking overall grooming, and not like only shaved pubic hair or not. That changed FAST. 

Same for me. What I wanted to get at is, like what is the relationship with what we have in our dna and how we are raised? Is it in our dna to want to have sex with another human being? Or is it something we learn? 

I think it's conceivable that a child could be indoctrinated by such a delusional culture as to find sexual attraction to rocks. BEHOLD THE SACRED ROCK OUR MOTHER EARTH ONLY A FEW SELECTED IS GRANTED SHORT INTERVAL OF TIME TO BE NEAR AND ENJOY THIS HOLY PRIVILEGE OF PLEASURE

But I still think that there is innate attraction to the opposite sex in most people's dna. Otherwise we wouldn't be killing the planet with our numbers  

I don't know if the attraction is really in the DNA. Because what about homosexual and asexual people. Do they have a damaged DNA? But I think in the end it doesn't really matter where it comes from. It's there and makes life together with all the other experiences to that wondeful thing it is.

About relationships: Even so it sounds totally, totally unromantic I think there isn't such a thing as a relationship in reality. It is merely a concept in our minds. But that doesn't say you can't have an deep and intimate connection with somebody.

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

I have my own rules when it comes to dating. They are not hard,

1. Have sex on the firsr or second date (I will never date a girl for a month with out having sex, it is just too fuckingboring for me). 
2. The more open she can be, the better. I love when a girl can be slutty in the bed with me.
3. I hate girls that are pretending that they are not sluts in the bed just so I can notice how sweet they are. That is a form of nedeeness.

Every man has his own roles when it comes to dating, and most of the time they are socially conditioned into them.

 

To the girls: Never try to be someone you're not. If you're slutty in bed, you're slutty in bed. If you're not, you're not. If the guy does not like your sluttyness in the bed, than he is probably too boring for you even though you fucking love him. Never EVER do something to be liked, do it because you enjoy it.

"It is a bad feeling when you get rejected for being yourself, but it is worse feeling to be liked for being someone your not"

 

[Pallero]

When you fall in love, none of these things matter. This conversation is pointless. Unless you're looking for something other than love. But only love is hard to find, sex is easy.

[Walter B]

3 hours ago, Olafur Thorsteinsson said:

I have my own rules when it comes to dating. They are not hard,

1. Have sex on the firsr or second date (I will never date a girl for a month with out having sex, it is just too fuckingboring for me). 
2. The more open she can be, the better. I love when a girl can be slutty in the bed with me.
3. I hate girls that are pretending that they are not sluts in the bed just so I can notice how sweet they are. That is a form of nedeeness.

Every man has his own roles when it comes to dating, and most of the time they are socially conditioned into them.

 

To the girls: Never try to be someone you're not. If you're slutty in bed, you're slutty in bed. If you're not, you're not. If the guy does not like your sluttyness in the bed, than he is probably too boring for you even though you fucking love him. Never EVER do something to be liked, do it because you enjoy it.

"It is a bad feeling when you get rejected for being yourself, but it is worse feeling to be liked for being someone your not"

 

[ArabiaNytes]

Quite honestly, I'll never understand sex being just a physical action that our inner animal must satiate. It is SUCH a personal act. How can one feel okay, even good, about knowing they've shared their most intimate moments with a plethora of other persons? Personal space no longer exists...

These words comin' from a girl who once despised relationships and was willin to be a bachelorette for the rest of her life. Oh how things have changed whilst fallin madly in love.....

[ProblemSolving]

I am limited when I see a girl for the first time. I am not very comfortable with people in general, when I see them for the first time. Under that conditions I am simply not able to have sex with a girl just like that. But I totally respect people who are very open and have the "strengh" to have intimate sex with someone from the start. I think there is no right or wrong. At least from my point of view. Let the people do whatever they want. Slutiness is just a word. If this slutiness arouses me, who am I to judge. And nothing else matters.

About the grooming and shaving stuff, I totally like women with bush. Didn' touch a wet razor in a long time. Trimming is the only thing that I do regularly (like twice a month). I know how much skin irritations I used to have back then. So I am not going back to that. 

[egoeimai]

@ProblemSolving  So what you choose  do in a situation ,when a girl comes on you.  

P.s. You can use lotions and aloe vera gels for irritations  

 

[ProblemSolving]

If I can get a boner, alright, let's do it. Even when I am not really in the mood. 

[egoeimai]

@ProblemSolving  hahaha got you.

Thats the explanation.

[ProblemSolving]

But I had situations where I went to a prostitute and couldn't get it up. So, I really am a weird dude  

[egoeimai]

@ProblemSolving  If you didnt have the desire to actually play with her,wheres the weird?

[ProblemSolving]

I paid her in advance.