Do Men Care If..

[Sarah Marie]

I think I should have worded this question better, sorry guys. I was more interested in the overall social views on this. Like from the people who do not even have a concept of social conditioning is. Hope that makes better sense. 

[Stef]

11 hours ago, Sarah_Flagg said:

 

• Hooking up on the first date
• If she is groomed shaved etc.
• If she shows her sluttiness the first time you hook up. (He claims that men like a girl on the streets but freak in the sheet, but you can't show that side to soon or it's a no)

 

• If there is mutual attraction why not? If the first date doesn't really "go anywhere" in terms of physicality I tend to look at it as failure on my behalf.
• Eeehh. I think you should be trimmed, at least? I like cleanly shaven private parts more and I tend to keep myself the same way when going out on a date. Legs and pubic hair are important areas.
• You should do whatever feels right to you but going too wild might not be the best. Depends on the guy. I don't have that much experience so a wild hot girl might scare me and put pressure on me to perform.
   

[Simon Zackrisson]

18 minutes ago, ZenMonkey said:

If I am right here we are taking about women being shaved etc. Just think some years back and everybody thought completly different. Like our parents or grand parents generation. But nowadays we stumple across this topic in a different way again and again, very often in porn.

If it would be kind of a belief in parts of society that rocks were attractiv it could become social conditioning I think.

Yeah, I was under the impression that we were talking overall grooming, and not like only shaved pubic hair or not. That changed FAST. 

18 minutes ago, ZenMonkey said:

Sorry, I didn't get that question. English isn't my native language even so I understand most of it but that was just a bit too high

Same for me. What I wanted to get at is, like what is the relationship with what we have in our dna and how we are raised? Is it in our dna to want to have sex with another human being? Or is it something we learn? 

I think it's conceivable that a child could be indoctrinated by such a delusional culture as to find sexual attraction to rocks. BEHOLD THE SACRED ROCK OUR MOTHER EARTH ONLY A FEW SELECTED IS GRANTED SHORT INTERVAL OF TIME TO BE NEAR AND ENJOY THIS HOLY PRIVILEGE OF PLEASURE

But I still think that there is innate attraction to the opposite sex in most people's dna. Otherwise we wouldn't be killing the planet with our numbers  

[DJ]

12 hours ago, Sarah_Flagg said:

I have a really great guy friend who claims that men have "rules" when dating. 

For example; if a girl sleeps with you on the first date she is not "wife material". If a girl gives head on the first day, she's a slut.

So I want more opinions. Do men actually care about:

• Hooking up on the first date
• If she is groomed shaved etc.
• If she shows her sluttiness the first time you hook up. (He claims that men like a girl on the streets but freak in the sheet, but you can't show that side to soon or it's a no)

 

Not I.

[Walter B]

3 hours ago, Ida said:

Okay, so to your subconscious mind, that's what you feel? :b

Can't wait for the good weather to come! Looking forward to provoke and help the opressed female body! :3 

Yes. I don't answer the original questions. Those things naturally have an effect, but knowing and loving someone for their core can be very different than wanting intimacy from them. That's a special bond. One that is the most Devine most of us may ever know. It takes serious work on one's self and dedication to yourself to develop this. But once you find it, even if you loose it, you'll never see the world the same again. And it opens your mind to see the soul of those that know theirs.

 In ways even psychedelics can't touch, per another discussion.

But keep your eye on it bc it can get covered up quickly by life and old/new tendencies that all of us revert to in comfort or pain.

[Sarah Marie]

I am married, so I don't date. But it does really fascinate me to see watch my friends and all their so called "rules". For me personally I do not think even if I were single I would hook up on the first date. For one I'm terrified of STDs I really need to keep myself as healthy as possible. For two, I have to have some sort of vibe or feeling of who the person is. For three, I really don't think I'd benefit from it. But once I did decide I don't think I'd hold back on making the experience anything except extraordinary. I have always thought being groomed was part of hygiene, but I have a friend who believes the hair is there for a reason so it should be left. Interesting perspectives. 

 

[kalter000]

4 minutes ago, Sarah_Flagg said:

I have a friend who believes the hair is there for a reason so it should be left

It's okay, some people like to play in the jungle. 

[Sarah Marie]

@kalter000 I'm sure they do! She says they just have to dig for the gold. It's hilarious. She even uses hair dye down there sometimes.

[Simon Zackrisson]

5 minutes ago, Sarah_Flagg said:

@kalter000 I'm sure they do! She says they just have to dig for the gold. It's hilarious. She even uses hair dye down there sometimes.

OH MY FUCKING GOD . im dead sara

lol. XDDDDDDD

[Simon Zackrisson]

32 minutes ago, Sarah_Flagg said:

I am married, so I don't date. But it does really fascinate me to see watch my friends and all their so called "rules". For me personally I do not think even if I were single I would hook up on the first date. For one I'm terrified of STDs I really need to keep myself as healthy as possible. For two, I have to have some sort of vibe or feeling of who the person is. For three, I really don't think I'd benefit from it. But once I did decide I don't think I'd hold back on making the experience anything except extraordinary. I have always thought being groomed was part of hygiene, but I have a friend who believes the hair is there for a reason so it should be left. Interesting perspectives. 

 

With that logic, I'd like to see the hair on her head. : D 

[Avi]

12 hours ago, Sarah_Flagg said:

I have a really great guy friend who claims that men have "rules" when dating. 

For example; if a girl sleeps with you on the first date she is not "wife material". If a girl gives head on the first day, she's a slut.

So I want more opinions. Do men actually care about:

• Hooking up on the first date
• If she is groomed shaved etc.
• If she shows her sluttiness the first time you hook up. (He claims that men like a girl on the streets but freak in the sheet, but you can't show that side to soon or it's a no)

 

THIS POST IS HIGHLY GRAPHIC AND USES SEXUAL REFERENCES TO GET THE POINT ACROSS. 

I would like to try and use contemplation and self-inquiry to see why a person would want to hook up on the first date/give head/jerk off etc... For example (and this can work for a either guy/girl/trans etc... but I will be mainly using guy/girl because it's just easier formatting wise): 

Example 1

Guy and Girl are done with the date. They are both in the car together. 

Guy: I had so much fun tonight! Thanks for letting me take you out on a date. 

Girl: Of course, thank you for taking me. I had a great time at dinner. 

Guy: You are totally welcome. 

Girl: You know... I think you are totally cute and fun. I would love to give you a blowjob in my apartment if you are up for it? No pun intended of course. 

Pause. 

Guy: You know I love getting head and I think you are really cute as well. May I ask you, besides me being cute and all, why you want to give me head? 

Girl: I'm looking to have more sexual experiences and I'm not really looking for anything serious at the moment. I just want to have fun and be more open with my sexuality.

Guy: You know, I just got out of a serious relationship and I'm actually on the same page as you! I too am looking to have more sexual experiences and have fun.

Girl: Great, well come on over and we can talk more and have some fun. 

End. 

Example 2 

Guy and Girl are done with the date. They are both in the car together. 

Guy: I had so much fun tonight! Thanks for letting me take you out on a date. 

Girl: Of course, thank you for taking me. I had a great time at dinner. 

Guy: You are totally welcome. 

Girl: You know... I think you are totally cute and fun. I would love to give you a blowjob in my apartment if you are up for it? No pun intended of course. 

Pause. 

Guy: You know I love getting head and I think you are really cute as well. May I ask you, besides me being cute and all, why you want to give me head? 

Girl: Well to be completely open and honest, I've been extremely depressed the past few months and I've been having a lot of family trouble, my sister just committed suicide and my dad past away last year and it's just been to much. I want to use your cock to get over it. 

Guy: I am so sorry to hear that all of that has happened to you and I can relate as my brother also committed suicide and my dad also past away last year. I'm actually trying to improve myself but I don't want to use sex or sexual activities to cover up my pain. I'm sorry but I don't want for you to give me a blowjob because you are trying to get over your personal problems. It just doesn't feel right to me. 

Girl: I understand and thank you for your honesty. Would you like to meet again for drink or dinner so we can get to know each other better? 

Guy: Of course! 

End. 

So please notice that the roles can be reversed with the guy having the issues and the girl saying no. 

In Example 1 there was honest and clear communication between both parties of what they wanted to do. The terms were talked about and action was implemented. 

In Example 2 I switched both people's lives by introducing some sort of great external pain that each person was having. This in turn, proposed sexual activity not because the girl wanted to explore and have fun but to cover up the pain and harm of this "external conflict". If you've done a lot of personal development work you will know that approaching sex or sexual activities from this perspective is damaging and often leaves both parties confused, misunderstood, and hurt.

Further more, I wish individuals talked like this more often with each other as it lays out goals, wants, needs, and problems. The parties involved can't help but come up with a solution. I try and practice this every chance I get as it makes me more open and aware of my motivations, my purpose, and my wants and needs and it also lets the other person know what I want and where I stand. 

This is why contemplation and self inquiry is so powerful when you do this with yourself and others. Your beliefs, assumptions, and conclusions about you and the world fall away and it becomes about you (in a non-ego way) and your experiences leaving every possibility open, including being honest about what you want and how you want it.

--------------------------------

Shaved and Grooming Examples: 

Example 1 

Guy and Girl are done with the date. They are both in the car together. 

Guy: I had so much fun tonight! Thanks for letting me take you out on a date. 

Girl: Of course, thank you for taking me. I had a great time at dinner. 

Guy: You are totally welcome. 

Girl: You know... I think you are totally cute and fun. I'm just looking to have fun, nothing serious. I would love to give you a blowjob in my apartment if you are up for it? No pun intended of course. But I only like fully shaved cock's. I don't like hairy cock's. 

Guy: You know I feel the same way! Not about the cock's of course, about you! You are so cute and fun and I would love for you to give me a blowjob. 

Girl: Great! Well come on up! 

Guy: I would love to but I don't like shaving down there. I like my hair down there and I don't want to change for anyone. 

Girl: I see. Well since we are both on the same page about us just having fun and not anything serious then we can end it here. 

Guy: I agree. I just think we are on different paths in life and I can't seem to comprise with you. It was amazing meeting you though. I had such a great time. 

Girl: Me too! Wish you all the best.

End. 

Example 2

Guy and Girl are done with the date. They are both in the car together. 

Guy: I had so much fun tonight! Thanks for letting me take you out on a date. 

Girl: Of course, thank you for taking me. I had a great time at dinner. 

Guy: You are totally welcome. 

Girl: You know... I think you are totally cute and fun. I'm just looking to have fun, nothing serious. I would love to give you a blowjob in my apartment if you are up for it? No pun intended of course. But I only like fully shaved cock's. I don't like hairy cock's.

Guy: I feel the exact same way! I too am just looking to have fun. And I have a fully shaved cock! What perfect timing!

Girl: Come on up! 

End.

In Example 1 we showed that people have different preferences when it comes to what they like. If you don't like something, even if it's grooming habits you have a right to say "sorry! this isn't going to work out because of "x". And take note, the guy and girl are on different paths because of one's liking for a hairy penis vs. not a hairy penis.  

In Example 2 we showed that these individuals are in fact on the same page with each other. Even if the guys cock is hairy he would still shave it because he likes doing it and he has found someone that like that grooming habit of his. 

We so often try to change other people or try and "fix" them but know that this is just a reflection of your own insecurities and problems that you have and are projecting on other people. 

Further more, I believe the term "slut" is just a term we made up because we are afraid of open and honest communication with each other. It's just a belief though so don't take it to seriously.  

All these examples are way to show how enlightenment and the practice of mediation can be used to be open and honest with what we want and our needs for ourselves. 

Thanks for reading if you got this far.  

[Avi]

I would like to add that being honest and open like this take a lot of practice and people will think you are super weird. It also takes a lot of courage. But the rewards you reap from this DWARF all the awkward moments and people thinking you are super weird.  

[Simon Zackrisson]

21 minutes ago, Avi said:

Girl: Great, well come on over and we can talk more and have some fun. 

bow chicka wow wow

21 minutes ago, Avi said:

I want to use your cock to get over it. 

: DDDDDDD

 

Anyways, what I take from this is: bitch just be honest and ull find someone thats right for u. 

 

However, I'm not sure this would be actually something you'd want to do in a real life situation. If you would just weird out the other person in the aspiration to be super honest and articulate.

It would be nice if everyone did it though, and it slowly actually became the protocol for how we interact with our fellow human beings. 

But naaaaaaaaaaah. Don't see it happening any time soon brah.

 

Edited February 17, 2016 by Simon Zackrisson

[Ida]

1 hour ago, Pyrrhocorax graculus said:

Yes. I don't answer the original questions. Those things naturally have an effect, but knowing and loving someone for their core can be very different than wanting intimacy from them. That's a special bond. One that is the most Devine most of us may ever know. It takes serious work on one's self and dedication to yourself to develop this. But once you find it, even if you loose it, you'll never see the world the same again. And it opens your mind to see the soul of those that know theirs.

 In ways even psychedelics can't touch, per another discussion.

But keep your eye on it bc it can get covered up quickly by life and old/new tendencies that all of us revert to in comfort or pain.

Sorry for my bad use of the quote button. It was meant for Simon Zackrisson.

[Avi]

@Simon Zackrisson I wouldn't disregard this nor would I judge what I say so quickly. The mind tends to resist what it doesn't know as "normal" and we have a hard time letting go of this "normalcy". Although the examples I gave are highly exaggerated I would still think or rather, don't think about the Truth within them. 

Edited February 17, 2016 by Avi

[Ida]

51 minutes ago, Sarah_Flagg said:

 

 

51 minutes ago, Sarah_Flagg said:

She even uses hair dye down there sometimes

Oh that could damage her fertility O: but love the spirit!! :-P 

[kalter000]

33 minutes ago, Avi said:

Girl: You know... I think you are totally cute and fun. I would love to give you a blowjob in my apartment if you are up for it? No pun intended of course. 

Pause. 

Guy: You know I love getting head and I think you are really cute as well. May I ask you, besides me being cute and all, why you want to give me head? 

Girl: Well to be completely open and honest, I've been extremely depressed the past few months and I've been having a lot of family trouble, my sister just committed suicide and my dad past away last year and it's just been to much. I want to use your cock to get over it. 

Still better plot, than 50 shades of gray.

[Simon Zackrisson]

1 minute ago, kalter000 said:

Still better plot, than 50 shades of gray.

So you've read 50 shades of gray. 

I thought better of you. 

[kalter000]

1 minute ago, Simon Zackrisson said:

So you've read 50 shades of gray. 

I thought better of you. 

Like it's something awful.

It's beautiful story about true love, compassion and little pain.

[Sarah Marie]

4 minutes ago, kalter000 said:

Like it's something awful.

It's beautiful story about true love, compassion and little pain.

I love 50 shades of Grey, lol (insert handcuff emoji here).