cheating partner: to leave or not to leave?

[MIARIVEL]

11 hours ago, AlexB said:

Its very important to look at that persons history, did he cheat in past relationships? Men look at other women all the time, it's masculine energy we like what we see. But on the other hand if a man is in love he has to control those impulses at least when his girl is present, for the socialising of course it's ok to talk with other women as long as there aren't any flirts envolved. In that case you have a first signal that you may be betrayed one day. Love for me is supposed to be fun and lighthearted, you go there to give. I gave to one of my ex like 7 chances already, first month's go smooth after all the old demons come back, it's hard for people to change if they don't do the work necessary, I saw this in other people's relationships too. The hard thing is that people like us who are into personal development find, it's hard to find a partner that suits us because of the different ways of thinking. 

Peace ✌ 

@AlexB I don't ask or want to know about the person's relationship history. Whatever is in their past is in the past.

I'd rather just make up my own mind on how they treat me. I know men look at women all the time, but I also feel there should be some level of respect boyfriend's don't give when they have a girlfriend. I understand it is normal for people to socialise and communicate, however, there is a line you do not cross (this is not obvious to some guys as because they are such visual creatures they tend tend to let imagery control their 'common sense' and comprehending the difference between right and wrong when in a relationship/married. 

People may call me insecure or jealous and I don't see myself that way at all. If it doesn't work out with one person, there will always be someone else. Most of us have all been hurt in the past, betrayed and so forth, and due to my past, I know what I want in someone and there has to be respect, loyalty and trust. The moment I see or hear something that doesn't fit in with my beliefs and values, then I will question it or seek to find out the truth. 

In all honesty, I believe in love, I love love and being in love; I just think love isn't really for me, due to what you said. It is very hard for me to find someone who is into personal development and has a similar way of thinking. Most guys I have met are happy to settle for a mediocre life.

It may seem like I have a pessimistic view on men and relationships but I guess I know what I want & I don't want to settle for less. I have also been that one to let my emotions for someone cloud my judgement and this is a mistake a lot of people make, is when we just settle. 

[MIARIVEL]

10 hours ago, clytaemnestra said:

I don't think it is bad talking and chatting with other girls/guys, but I don't get it why would you deny that you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? Basically, you're lying other person that you're single and available for her/him, although you're not.

@clytaemnestra EXACTLY! If your in a relationship and you flirty with other girls (most guys would call this "being nice/friendly") being overly nice and overly friendly gets you in a lot of trouble. The moment you deny you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, you obviously don't deserve to have that person as your girlfriend/boyfriend. I believe no matter how clever one may think they are at hiding things, the truth will sooner or later come out. Then people find themselves in a situation of desperation to have their partner back even though they know they did the wrong thing and by that time its too late. Were not children here, We should know and understand the concept of respect, loyalty, trust & love for someone else, and if you don't then don't get yourself into a relationship just for comfort and your own needs/wants at the time. 

[MIARIVEL]

@milosmajlo Its a bit hard to communicate with someone who doesn't know how to communicate.

[AlexB]

Infact the problem is settling, when you're needs are not aligned with the other person the relationship can not go along because you have different values. Or maby you were in love but you got over it that made it end for you.

I always asked myself why my relationships were getting over every time, and it was because I got tired. Also when you experience negative emotions with the other person it depends on how much you're willing to take.  Having a mediocre relationship, learning from my personal past burns my relationship really fast, because I'm always looking for growth even from my relationship. Respect loyalty and trust are the fundamentals, but after I also want complicity and other values.

The values must be aligned because everybody has their own deal-breakers